Roman Catholic Church

Benny, the magic pope, has called for all gay and lesbians to be arrested and searched for evidence of inherent gayness and proof that they are involved with the oil leek in the United S of A.

It's is also said that he saw the word Allah spelled out in the oil slick but decided to not "go there" as gays are a much softer target and aren't as prone to blowing accusers up.

President Obama on the other hand is sure that it may be connected to some al-Qaeda attack and is looking into evidence that the oil may have been indoctrinated and trained in Afghanistan.

In the meantime, all the oil from the middle east is being held for questioning, just in case there is some connection.