Everything is getting quicker these days, fast food, instant messaging, speed dating, the list goes on.Well the latest innovation, the good old fashioned quickie has been brought bang up to date, the knee trembler for the man on the go, pop in and pop your cork, the drive in slide in.The brains behind the idea? Three ladies who are part of a lottery syndicate, following a moderate win on a local lotto, they decided to plough their money back into their very own house of quick and ill repute.Charlene (not her real name) 36, men are so quick anyway, hell! I even had some fellas spoing their spooge before the beast has even left the cage, what's the point of hiring a room for the night for that? Not even worth it for a couple of hours. Delaney (not her real name) 24 (not her real age) That's when we came up with the idea of a quickie brothel, we modelled everything on Maccy Ds, right down to our tartan uniforms. Some of the girls are a bit against the gold stars idea, but fcuk it. If their 'tang don't do that thang the punters can tell, so buck your ideas up girlfriend!

Missy (not her real name) 19 (definitely not her real age?actually not much looked real about her)

It was me that came up with the drive-thru idea. We have a painted line on our driveway for drivers to follow. You go to the first window place your order and pay, carry on to the second window where one of us girls will be waiting with an open hand, or whatever your requirement is. We offer this for the really quick men, as there isn't any point in them even getting out of their cars.

On the tail end of this news story, our reporter heard of another similar brothel springing up specialising in gay men. This one would be called bugger king.