1998-2017 Family profile
A snapshot 'summary' of family history
Embedded Files
Previously the year's activities were written up in an annual letter. For the record, the letters from 1998 to 2014 are here.
(I know unlikely to be read, but I got "shredded" for shredding old letters, so now preserving. If not of interest, don't read!)
Dec 2017 at Mazeppa Bay: Tony, Sue, Luke, Ralph, Walt, Esme, Doug, Sarah and Megan
Jenny passed away on 6 July 2017, the day of our 49th wedding anniversary, 52 years since we met and 51 years since we became engaged, so by any standards we made our "50th". A short pictorial tribute to her fun filled, adventurous life and details of the funeral service, are here . Besides being a wonderful mother, talented teacher, rock climber, mountaineer and parachutist, Jenny was an extraordinarily courageous person with an unshakeable faith. She surmounted adversities that would have devastated most.
2019: Not unsurprisingly, Ralph was destabilised by his mother's death, After being 'expelled' from his 12th home, in March 2019 he became a resident at Sunfield, Howick. He struggled to settle so after a year of "commuting" between Cape Town and Howick, Tony moved to Howick to help Ralph cope. But even there Ralph did not cope and he passed away in April 2020.
Jenny and Tony had three children, Doug, Sue and Ralph, and three grandchildren, Megan, Sarah and Luke. Ralph was our laat, laat lammetjie - 18 years younger than his brother. He was the focus of our lives as he was brain damaged by tick bite fever when he was 2 so this dominated our lives for 30 years, first with a long rehabilitation programme and then trying to place him in a residential home where he could be secure and happy.
Jenny was head of the English Department at St Mary's DSG in Pretoria for 16 years before she was medically boarded in 1997. She enjoyed being involved in her Poetry and Drama Group, Book Club, Garden Club, various U3A groups and a number of the groups at Christ Church Constantia. And with Ralph, "once a mother, always a mother" takes on new meaning! In 2008 we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary at Cathedral Peak in the Drakensberg, where we had first met in 1965.
Doug and Sue both graduated from the University of Natal, bringing the Heher total of UN degrees to 7 - and 13 degrees in total from an assortment of universities! Doug did Mech Eng and is currently head of a design unit in a large engineering company which takes him all over the world looking into the feasibility of very large engineering projects. In 2019 he was involved in the feasibility of a new gold mine in Siberia and visited Russia regularly. 2024/25 its a lithium mine in Czechoslovakia. Next year? Who knows!
Sue spent 10 years in the SA diplomatic core, including 6 years in Palestine (she was fluent in Arabic) where she was head of the South African mission. A complete change of career took her to the USA for an MBA at Cornell University. Sue is married to Walt and they live in Ithaca in upstate New York. In 2010 they had a son Luke - our first grandson! Walt is a teacher with a wonderful gift of relating to children with great perception.
Heher family: Walt & Sue; Esmé & Doug; Jenny and Tony; Ralph & Tasha
Celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary in July 2008 at Cathedral Peak in the Drakensberg, where we first met in 1965!
The "Rainbow" family at Sue and Walts wedding, May 2005, Didima, Cathedral Peak
Retiring for the first time about 20 years ago ... and have kept on retiring every since - getting busier and busier each time! Retirement "hobbies" have included two very interesting years as Chief Director in the Department of Trade and Industry (just after the transition),and 5 years as Director of UCT Innovation at the University of Cape Town. I also spent several years doing a variety of consulting work in KZN and Lesotho, including being head of the Economic Development Team of the World Bank funded Maloti-Drakensberg Transfrontier Project.
My main recreation has been mountaineering, leading a group that is aiming to climb, and record in a web directory, over 200 walking, scrambling and climbing routes in the Western Cape. The directory is a multi-media mountain wiki - see www.mountain-meanders.com - great fun for anyone with an interest in the Cape mountains. The picture on the right was taken while opening a spectacular new route on the Steenbras Mountains near Gordons Bay called Boskloof Ridge. One of the climbers who did it said "Everest was safer" so these are no walk in the park, but demanding routes requiring ropes and abseiling. Not too bad for a 73-year old! Besides leading for the Mountain Club of South Africa Tony has also helped start several new University of the 3rd Age (U3A) walking groups which has seen U3A hiking expand to be the one of the most active hiking groups in the Cape.
Opening a favourite route: Boskloof Ridge above Steenbras
Another recent activity was Chairman of the Southern Intellectual Disability Initiative (SIDI) which set up a number of group homes for intellectually disabled young adults. This secured nearly R30m from both private donors and the government for a number of homes. It was a demanding and almost a full time job - unpaid of course. My experience of retirement is doing more and more work for less and less pay!
Starting and running these group homes is challenging and draws on all ones management skills. The developmental focus of the work also changes ones perceptions. Working with the handicapped makes one very humble and dismissive of the shallow values that permeate so much of society.
Megan and Sarah
Luke (in his 'Madiba' shirt!
The Heher clan going zip-lining! Storms River, April 2013
Esme, Ralph, Megan, Doug & Sarah, Injasuthi, Drakensberg, April 2012
Sarah, Ralph & Megan, Storms River, April 2013
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