Trapped!!!

OMG! Mr. Milanese is trapped!!!

Somehow Mr. Milanese got trapped underneath his Ford Fusion, and you need to free him! Here's some important information:

• There is a large rock 1 meter away from his car.
• Luckily, there are four metal pipes of various lengths (3 meters, 5 meters, 38 meters, and 14048 meters) laying nearby.
• You can use the pipe and rock to create a lever to free Mr. Milanese.

The balance point of a lever is called the fulcrum. In this case, the rock is our fulcrum. The amount of force it takes to pry the car off Mr. Milanese is a function of the length of the input arm. The length of the input arm is measured from the rock to the end of the pipe (on your side). The length of the output arm is measured from the rock to the end of the pipe (on the car's side). Because the rock is 1 meter away from the car, the length of the input arm will always be the total length of the pipe minus 1 (which is the length of the output arm). A 2007 Ford Fusion weighs 3,158 pounds, which translates to 14,047 Newtons. So, we can tell how much force it takes to lift up the car by utilizing the following function:

where x is the length of your input arm (in meters) and f(x) is the amount of energy required to lift the car.

Answer the questions on "The Checklist" about this problem.