There was a time when addressing your company as "ladies and gentlemen" was the expected norm. But with explosion of pronouns that have replaced this system it seems the safest bet is to classify all as 'everyone' and move on.
Communications is a science unto itself. You can study communication your entire life and find yourself coming up short effectively communicating. The human brain is capable of picking up nuances and subtleties in such simple things as body language, tonality, and inflection, and eye contact and the variations from these three are endless. A good stage manager should be an excellent communicator. They should have a strong understanding of formal and informal communications. They should be self aware in their own communication patterns and studied in the communication practices of others. Unlike their acting cousins they need to manage the moment between stimulation and response and act accordingly.
In addition to being an area of scientific study, communications is such a hot topic that you will find droves of advice on how to improve yours. Go to any book store and you will see publication after publication offering help in in everything from personal communications, communications strategies, how to manage your boss, business vocabulary, etc. to how to make ethical decisions in business. All of these offer salient advice on how to become better communicators and decision makers. Sadly, all of these can only make you more aware of the more common strategies and techniques. Putting them into practice is another matter altogether.
Think of communication having many ingredients. First of all, there is how communication is transmitted from person to person. You speak, they listen. They speak, you listen. While that pattern is taking place imagine - that tennis match of talk, listen, talk, listen - imagine that each person in the process of speaking is already evaluating what they are saying and how they are delivering it. The listener on the other hand starts to analyze the message as soon as the speaker delivers the first word. Then consider that each person brings with them cultural idioms and bias that effect even the structure of the language as it is being spoken and other cultural idioms and bias are coloring the interpretation even while it is being delivered - and all the time that is going on the response to the initial message is being formulated throughout the delivery process. It's fairly easy to see why communications between two seemingly agreeable individuals can still go awry. Who among us hasn't experienced a conversation where both of you agreed on an action or an outcome only to find out that what you both understood were two different things.
This is why it is important for stage managers to practice effective communication. It is important to learn the skills that go along with effective communication and to practice those skills on a daily basis.
Personal Communications:
To begin with the stage manager should have some understanding on the basics of communication and some experience analyzing their own communication styles. In its simplest form, personal communications is best described as an input>output>input cycle, or sometimes referred to as stimulus and response cycle. This out put, in turn, creates the same stimulus-response input in someone else. Put graphically, it looks something like this.
Note that the chart creates a feedback loop between the output and input noted by the line that returns back to the beginning. What is meant by managing the moment between stimulus and response resides in the question mark between the two. This means that at that particular instance you have an opportunity to determine the output. Whether you act poorly or professionally, whether you output a biased view or an open one, all impact the input cycle of someone else. This is turn creates another output and the cycle continues. Learning to manage that output often determines the success or failure of the conversation.
You can extrapolate from that moment even further. In addition to reaction solely on the input of another there are factors involved that provide a 'color' or 'filter' to the overall experience.
Social status, economic background, life experience, and education are just a few of the external forces that affect that moment. Understanding what causes you to react in certain ways is as important as managing the moment. We all have “buttons” that can be pushed that cause us to react in certain ways. Analyzing the why of what you do is as important as the how.
As forces impact your reaction a chain of reactions begins to develop. Your encoded responses based on the combined force and experiences of your life react to the stimulus. Unfiltered through a reasoning process they can interact with the already encoded message from the unfiltered bias of the other sender and so on and so forth. You can see how quickly out of hand a conversation can become when both parties choose to not filter their reactions and responses through some reasoning process. Understanding the forces that determine your bias and controlling them is part of an enlightened conversation.
It is a good idea to spend some time analyzing word choices by keeping a journal of your word choices and reactions. Keep a pad handy and after a conversation spend a few moments noting your word choices. Note how the other individual reacted to those word choices. Do you find yourself continually using the same verbs? Are they active or passive? You want to do this for two reasons; one to better understand how you react to stimulus and what feelings it brings out in you, and two to begin training yourself to become more sensitive to the output of others and to hone your awareness of the physical and auditory clues others are expressing.
A popular book in personal responsibility and communication is Steven Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.[1] In this book Covey cleverly explains the difference between two circles; the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern. He goes on to explain that often circumstances will fall in your circle of concern but not your circle of influence. The difference being that inside your circle of influence you have some elements of control over those circumstances. Conversely, in your circle of concern you don’t have as much direct control over those circumstances. This is an important lesson in stage management. Much of what takes place in the rehearsal hall directly affects the way the stage manager integrates into the production process. However, not all decisions in rehearsal are inside the circle of influence. Most of the artistic direction of the show remains in the circle of concern. It affects the stage manager but the stage manager has little input into that direction. Young stage managers often feel frustrated when interacting with artistic staff on any particular production as they have not completed delineated in their mind the dividing line between the two circles. Understanding where you have concern and where you have influence is an important aspect of stage management. Knowing when and where to participate is part of your personal growth as a stage manager.
Facework
Some time ago I came across an article on nursing. I think there are some parallels between the care a nurse puts in to communicating with her patients and the care in communication a stage manager must display in dealing with such a wide swath of personalities involved in every production. At the bottom of this page you will find the article in total but I'll sum up some of the broader theories and suggestions elaborated in the article.
Facework is probably one of the most influential of all communication channels. Like body language, facework is immediate. Tonality and truthfulness play a role but just as you can "hear" the actor when they're truthful, you can also "see" the actor live the role. Even if you couldn't hear and could only go on what the actor's face is doing you can often follow the story just as well. The face forecasts what we're feeling, whether we believe, whether we're telling the truth, whether we're listening or whether we're not.
Understand your objective. For effective communication you must know what you want to communicate and why. What is the purpose of the information being conveyed. Many times we communicate uselessly in casual conversations. As thoughts enter our heads we spew them forth with no apparent reason why. Most of us are familiar with that "stream of consciousness" in ourselves and our friends. While fun and many times hilarious, in business circles, we have to be careful about really understanding what we are saying. To begin with know why you are saying it.
Understand your audience. Who is receiving the information and why? What will they do with the information. Will there be further conversation necessary? How will that take place? Theatre has many formal structures for communication. We have production meetings, daily reports, email, phone calls, conference calls, etc. Understanding what their issues are and tailoring your message for them is an essential skill for stage managers to develop. Too often stage managers, especially young stage managers, fall into rote patters of communications without clearly understanding why and for whom this information is being conveyed. Therefore we get daily reports with no content. Examine your processes. Are they working or do they need attention. If they need attention then start back at the top. What is the objective for this communication.
Create the message. Once you have understood both your objective and your audience create your message. It is always good to in written communication (including emails) to take a minute to reread the message. Do it at least once for typos and spelling but do it again for content. Think empathically about who the receivers are of this message. How will they feel about the message? Have you gone the extra mile to explain both the background for the information as is necessary as well as the message itself? This extra step will save energy, time, feelings, etc. for those intended for the message.
Follow up. It is a good idea to touch base if the message is distance delivered and by that I mean in any instance other than life to life. When you put information in a report please be sure to indicate that if there is any confusion or discussion necessary to please follow up. With stage managers I have always espoused that there is no substitute for life to life communications. Email and the internet have made our lives easier but they have distanced us in communicating effectively. Sending out notes and then not following up indicates a lack of understanding and appreciation of the intended audience. Too much ineffective communication will result in a lack of performance and attention on the part of the receiver. Pay very close attention to the messages you send out and follow up often.
Communication is more than just
The following is an excerpt I found in my files. I have no documentation that goes with it so I am unsure as to the source of the information. it could be mine. But in rereading it there is much that I agree with here so I paste in here for your edification:
Regaining Attention
Here are three ideas to regain the attention of others:
Email may lose its power of attention, but you still need to gain the attention of others. You can do so by setting joint expectations, switching to other means of communication, or changing your communications approach altogether.
What About You?
What strategies and tactics have you followed when email loses it power of attention?
Formal Communications:
In your work in the previous chapter you examined the lines of communications of an organization. This represents the formal communications map of your theatre organization and you should make sure you use and understand this map. Formal communications includes the persons you communicate to and how you communicate with them.
Formal communications goes beyond the verbal and includes other official manners of communication. Email, reports, documents, memo’s etc. all represent methods of formal communication. These are covered later in the book. For this chapter formal communication means the verbal chain of communication established by the organizations structure.
Clearly understanding the formal communications structure enables the stage manager to know who and where to communicate. Following the formal communications structure insures that the proper people are being informed of the progress and development of the production and questions that arise in the production process can be handled in an appropriate manner. If correctly followed the formal communications structure is there to insure all parties have the information they need to move forward and succeed in their relationship to the production.
Refer back to the organizational chart that included the artistic director and general manager. Note that the communications structure supports that information from the stage manager is filtered up through the production manager. The production manager communicates to the general manager and the artistic director. Following this formal chain of communication it is possible for important information from the production to be passed up and on to departments the stage manager does not usually interface with i.e. the box office. So if a director decides that an actor has to make their entrance from a seat or row in the audience the stage manager can pass that information up the formal communications structure to the production manager/general manager and on to the box office and front of house staff. The appropriate seat can be reserved or aisle cleared to support the production.
The same holds true with the artistic director. The artistic director can follow the progress of the production and intervene when choices are being made that may be considered incongruous to the mission of the theatre and/or its reputation. Or even just to enjoy the artistic development of the play.
The actual genesis of this rule remains obscure but the general intention is a wise one. In dealing with conflicts it is a good idea to follow the one up rule. The reason it is mentioned here is that your organizational structure is the clue for conflict resolutions between peers. In short the one up rule means that you should not try to resolve conflicts peer to peer, or with persons on the same level of responsibility. You should pass the conflict up one level in the organizational structure. Actors should not try to resolve conflicts with other actors, designers with other designers, etc. You should inform the level above the conflict of the circumstances surrounding the conflict and allow them to use their position to come to a resolution. Again, young stage managers often will find themselves trying to resolve a conflict not only outside their circle of influence but above their level or responsibility. This is a lose/lose scenario for the stage manager. Knowing the one up rule can help many an embarrassing moment when a stage manager reaches beyond their traditional areas of responsibility.
Informal communication is often the bane of stage managers. Organizations are social and political entities. They establish pools and cliques of peoples that react to the organization in both positive and negative ways. Like people tend to attract each other in the same way that people associated to the same task will tend become more familiar with each other than those outside their group. A Stage Manager must be able to see and understand this most basic and predicable of human behaviors.
Informal communication can stymie effective formal communications. It can undermine authorities, cause hurt feelings, and otherwise play higgledy-piggledy in the healthy operation of your theatre. Not only being aware but also controlling the informal structure can be an essential tool in the stage managers arsenal of tricks.
Informal communication develops as people become more familiar with each other. As friendships develop and task oriented behavior develops causal relationships the walls between formal and informal often become blurred. People become more comfortable about discussing their jobs, their likes and dislikes, and even their desires and ambitions with each other. In the process they can also transfer information that it is incomplete, skewed by their own internal forces, or just plain inaccurate. The transfer of production information, an established responsibility of the stage manager, can only become confused and complicated if the informal network of communication is undermining that responsibility. The stage manager should be aware of and understanding of this complication. In long established institutions an outsider can be unaware of the complexity of this internal structure.
The study of body language has become more popular in recent history as psychologists have been able to understand what we say through our 'body gestures and facial expressions" and have been able to establish theories of understanding regarding the non-verbal or non-vocal expressions as they translate our actions revealing underlying feelings and attitudes.
People say a lot about themselves in the way they hold and use their body. An attentive person exhibits images of interest, understanding, and comprehension. An inattentive person gives may lack eye contact, exhibit extraneous movement, etc.. Their lack of eye contact, body position, etc. all give off clues of their non-verbal interest in the subject matter or the person delivering the message. It is a fairly easy read to see who is paying attention and who is not.
In discussing body language answer the following questions:
Does body language include facial expression and eye movement?
What about breathing and perspiration?
Do tone and pitch have any validity as part of body language?
Did you answer yes to any of these questions? Then body language is something you ascribe to in your analysis of the reactions of others to the stimulus they are providing. There are no right or wrong answers to this science, just and observable dictionary of signals to be interpreted on an individual basis.
Body language is more than the body's position and how it is moved. It is a language that is often shaped by the choices made moving the body through space and time. While items like body position are indeed important, the process of moving the body to that position is equally valuable and may provide additional understandings to the sender of the information. Everything can act as a window in the choices made in body language and communication. Proximity to sender! How many times have you been in the presence of a "close talker". Does it make you comfortable? Why are they talking so closely to you? What is their definition of personal space? How does that affect you in responding to the individual?
What about breathing and perspiration? Does hyper breathing and sweating send out a signal? What about for the person who's just finished a 10k vs. an individual being asked a series of personal questions? What is the message conveyed by both?
How we touch ourselves, how we touch others all have meaning in our conversations. We should pay close attention to the body language present and being presented in our conversations with individuals and groups of individuals. Eye contact and focus can have worlds of meaning in conversations that aren't quite comfortable for either individual.
The Oxford Dictionary defines Body Language as, "the conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated [for example]: his intent was clearly expressed in his body language." The Oxford Business Dictionary describes it as a tool to be used. The OED defines it as kinesics, "the study of the way in which certain body movements and gestures serve as a form of non-verbal communication."
Production meetings are great Petri dishes in the study of body language. There is a veritable smorgasbord of attention spans around the table. Some people are wholly there, some are partially there, and some are not there at all. You can tell by the way they interact with the topics going around the table. No eye contact, sitting back from the table, etc. are definite clues the person is not engaged with the meeting. Tonality and vocal inflection also give clues to the attention span and engagement of the players around the table. A stage manager must learn to read the visual and aural clues of those they interact with. This is an especially important skill. Since so much of a stage manager’s time is spent in communication learning to “read” the non-verbal communication of others is especially important. It will help you understand what people are really saying when they speak. It will help you understand more fully how they are engaged in the project. It will give you a greater depth of understanding of you company and the players engaged in the production.
There is a wealth of research material for further studies in body language. I have found Anthony Robbins Unlimited Power [2]useful in understanding body language and techniques used to not only identify but shape conversation. Such techniques as matching and mirroring, breath control and tonality, and pre-framing the experience useful in group dynamic experiences. It can also be an amusing experience when you flub your first attempts. Regardless of how you approach the information and study words along, especially emotional words, rarely reflect the full meaning and motive of what is being said. Rather it is the manner in which the body helps (or disagrees with) the words being spoken that give the larger truth.
Amy Cuddy gives a very nice lecture on the body and body language in one of her Ted Talks. Below is the link to the talk.
Amy Cuddy on Body Language: Amy Cuddy Ted talk
Listening is another important aspect to communication. Just as it was mentioned earlier to manage the moment between stimulus and response it is equally important to listen to others. Empathic listening (also called active listening) is a way of listening and responding in a manner that supports trust and understanding. The empathic listener slows down the reaction response allowing time for a fuller understanding of what the speaker is saying. It requires sensitivity in response to not only the stimulus but to the deliverer, the role the deliverer plays and the larger issues surrounding the subject matter. Easier said than done, an empathic listener will probe rather than judge. They will make a clear attempt not to interpret what the sender is saying rather they will try to understand the why’s of the conversation. Why does the sender feel this is an issue? What are the circumstances that brought the sender to desire this conversation? In some cases, what needs are not being met that prompts this conversation?
It is a human nature to immediately look for a resolution in conflicts. The empathic listener will first seek to understand then seek to be understood.
Rephrasing is especially important in insuring that all parties are saying the same thing, or on the same page, as it were. People often start formulating their response to an issue long before the person has finished speaking. Their brains start the process of responding before the entire issue has been delivered. This is a common response and stage managers should be very aware of this very human of tendencies. People can and have had full conversations totally in agreement with each other but in truth skewed by their initial reaction to the stimulus. Rephrasing is the process a stage manager uses to clarify the subject matter to all parties involved. The stage manager sums up the subject by repeating back in their own words what they think the conversation was all about. This rephrasing and summing up helps clarify the subject further by asking them to listen again from another perspective.
Dress…it would seem to go without saying, but the more you “dress” the role of a stage manager perhaps the more you will be treated like one. Fads such as body piercing, hip hugger jeans, jangling keys, all contribute to the overall expression of your self and your personal identity with yourself. The saying goes that you have approximately five seconds to make an impression visually. In that five seconds others will make certain judgments about you. If you present yourself professionally you can expect to be treated professionally. However, the converse is often true. When we can’t understand you because you won’t get the gum out of your mouth then perhaps we won’t take you as seriously as you would like.
Stage managers do not have to wear suits and ties. Stage managing is sometimes a dirty job and you don’t want to ruin fragile and sensitive clothing while carting props or laying down floor plans. You should be casually comfortable. Production meetings should be an occasion for looking more professional than times when you know you have to slide about the floor laying tape. Soft soled shoes are more appropriate to the rehearsal process as they allow you to move quietly while boots may be more appropriate to the scene shop. Dress the role. Remember, stage managers are an integral process to the successful run of any production. You should make sure you dress appropriate to the importance of the job you serve.
Touching on power only briefly there are a few power points a stage manager should be aware of. Personal power comes from a few sources:
1) The power of position: A stage manager by position has highly defined responsibilities and with them comes a certain kind of “authority” over others. This is considered power when you can influence the action of others directly and indirectly.
2) Charismatic power: This is the power of personality and includes physical attributes as well. Examples of charismatic power exist everywhere from Hitler to Hollywood. Strengths include such suggestions as voice and height, physical pulchritude, and bearing.
3) Expert power: A person accomplishing a task successfully over and over again is considered an expert in their area of specialization. Stage Managers accumulate expert power through repeated production assignments completed successfully. As they grow as stage managers’ so does their expert power (conversely it goes down in instances where it doesn’t go well).
4) Associative Power: This power is bestowed by the company you keep; power by association. Examples are endless. Government groups, peer groups, social groups, etc. all allow you to associate the power base assigned by the public to the group. A pool of golfers might exude an air of competence not normally associated to your hacker status by merely being in their foursome. Show your Mensa card and people will associate you with super intelligence.
Power affects the way people react to you. It affects the sway you possess. It commands the room or stifles it. Power is a tremendous responsibility. In the wrong hands it is the proverbial pariah. Stage Managers should use their power effectively to influence the constituent groups of the production positively.
Like communications the discussion of power is a book unto itself. For our intents and purposes this is an overview of power positions. There are numerous studies, books, and publications regarding power and its use. A quick web search will produce numerous titles for you to research.
Conflict Styles:
Understanding conflict styles is essential for stage managers especially as it intersects with personal communications in the highly charged collaborative environment that is stage management. In the 1970's Kenneth Thomans and Ralph Kilmann identified five styles people in employ in dealing with others. Divided between cooperation and assertiveness they conferred that people have a preferred conflict style. The important thing is that they noted that different styles were most useful in different situations. The skilled communicator should be able to guide these conversations to emulate these styles based on the desired end result. They developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) which helps you identify which style an individual tends towards when conflict arises.
The first of these styles is Competitive. In this style they assert that the individual takes a firm stand and know what they want. They operate form a position of power and use their own power base to influence decision making. This style is useful when quick decisions must take place. This style can be effective when extreme conflict needs to be resolved to close a hostile environment or to eliminate other abusive styles from position of dominance. While effective it can also be harsh. Everyone of us in theatre know people who's approach to theatre can be domineering. They create an environment of non inclusion. A skilled communicator may employ a similar style if it will bring to close quickly an event that is likely to escalate of become damaging. Unfortunately there is always collateral damage is these situations. Egos are likely to be damaged, bruised feelings, etc.
Secondly (and this is not a ranked order of preference) is Collaborative. People who trend towards a collaborative style try to meet all of the needs of the people involved. While they can be assertive it is the stake that is important. This style is useful when you need to bring together a variety of opinions and resources to create a greater whole. When the stakes are high it is important to guide everyone to feel included but recognize the validity of those involved, their opinions, and the process for collaboration.
Thirdly Compromising. Here people try to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone. Compromise is useful when the cost of the conflict is higher than the cost of losing position. This is useful when there is a deadline looming and parties need to come to closure quickly.
Fourth is Accommodating. An accommodating conflict style indicates a willingness to met the needs of others over one's own needs. The accommodator often knows when to give in to others. They are willing to surrender their position even when it may not be warranted. A desire to 'smooth' the ruffled feathers so as not to create further strife. This is a very unfavorable approach as it loses position and loses focus on the ultimate goal which is that the stakes of the outcome are higher than individual need.
And finally, Avoiding. People who avoid tend to evade conflict entirely. They may leave the room, make excuses for non inclusion, or simply withdraw...'I don't want to hurt anyone so I will recuse myself'. This position is only useful when no winnable outcome is possible, when the instance is too trivial for attention, or when someone else is better suited to solve the problem. "I really would like to help you but the Production Manager is really responsible for that resolution. Why don't you take it up with them."
Once you have a better understanding of these differing conflict styles it becomes more important that you analyze each situation for the appropriate approach.
Their is another theory commonly referred to as the "Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach". This type of conflict resolution respects individual differences while helping people avoid becoming too entrenched in a fixed position.*
In resolving conflict using this approach, you follow these rules:
By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control.
* This information was culled directly from MindTools, a web site focused on personal and professional leadership growth and awareness. (www.mindtools.com)
Much of this Interest-Based Relational Approach is common sense. If you want to succeed in any discussion you must respect the minds of others around the table. You must pay attention to their positions and needs. You must establish the objectives for the discussion. You must make decisions regarding the outcome of the discussion and apply the correct approach for that situation.
Every situation is different. Keep that in mind. What works for one situation does not necessarily work for the next.
Summary
Discussion Points
Exercises
FACEWORK AND POLITENESS THEORY
Follow link to Ms. Spiers paper. You can download the entire article. Very much worth the read.
The Use of Face Work and Politeness Theory
Judith Ann Spiers
Further Research in Communications:
[1] The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven R. Covey; Simon and Schuster Publishers, Copyright 1989.
[2] Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement; Anthony Robbins, 1987. Publisher; Free Print (Reprint Edition)