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Post date: Aug 13, 2016 3:09:18 AM
by Lindsay Lennertz, Psy.D.
Whether your family had a restful, relaxing summer or was on a non-stop roller coaster ride of a summer this year, it can be helpful to head into the school year with a plan for success! Try these tips to keep your family calm, cool, and collected in the heat of the school transition…
1. Prepare your child for a positive experience by checking out the fun parts of the school before classes begin.
o Take a tour around the playground, arrange to meet the teacher, and take a look at the arts and crafts/recreational areas (or other subjects of interest to your child) to build motivation and a relationship with the school and/or teachers.
o Your child’s familiarity with people and places will help alleviate worries about where things are located and how to get around. Try the following: walk through the schedule, classroom to classroom; find the lockers or other spaces your child will be using and practice whatever you can (such as using a lock); let the teachers know (via letter, email, or in-person) your situation in simple terms and try to refrain from making requests (extra assistance from teachers is best sought during designated meeting times).
2. If you changed up the sleep/wake routine over the summer, it will help to prepare for the change in schedule by starting bedtime and wake-up routines 5-10 minutes earlier each day, beginning about a week before school starts. Keep at this until you’re back on track with school schedules. As parents and guardians, your routines will likely have to undergo the same changes, so go ahead and make the transition with your child/children.
3. Anticipating that your child will have certain anxieties about school won’t cause them to happen, if your approach is calm. A certain amount of school-related anxiety can be quite normal, so it makes sense that your child can benefit from you taking the initiative to talk to them about their best memories of last year and some new things to expect this year at school.
• Be sure to let your child lead these conversations; they don’t need to add your anxieties on to their own! This means your own anxieties will need a place to be released or processed; be that via family, friends, or therapeutic support.
• Always acknowledge your child’s feelings, even if they do not make sense to you or you disagree; letting them know you hear what they are saying can go a long way toward them feeling comforted, and thus easing their nerves. After that you can offer another perspective that you believe might truly help them enjoy more out of their experience. For ideas on what to say, visit the following sites or check out this book:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber
and Elaine Mazlish
http://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/get-your-kid-to-chat/
• Create an action plan to deal with unresolved issues from last year, such as trouble with a certain subject area or a bullying issue. See these sites to learn about ways to effectively engage support from your school:
• Many children experience their anxiety in the form of somatic complaints, such as stomachaches or headaches. This can be quite normal; however, if your child is missing school multiple times a month due to such anxiety, it is important to seek therapeutic assistance; it is especially important to stop such habits from forming at the outset of school. To avoid making incorrect assumptions it is best to check in with your pediatrician to ensure the problem is not medically related.
4. Help to ease tensions by collaborating with your child to create an accessible location for important information (i.e., emergency numbers, family/guardian phone numbers, home address, teacher names and contact information, etc.). This may be kept in a wallet or schedule book that your child carries to school. Schedule books or calendars can otherwise be used to help your child organize and prepare complete assignments on time.
5. Prepare for school the night before; this can make getting to school/work on time a much easier process. As with any new routine it will take a few weeks to feel normal and easy; start early to prevent other less effective habits from taking hold! Further assistance can be found here: http://www.babycenter.com/101_15-tips-for-getting-the-kids-out-the-door-fast-and-to-school_10347624.bc
6. Support the homework process. Model the Premack Principle that encourages us to “work first then play,” and which recognizes the fact that most of our lives tend to involve the necessity to work in order to earn pay or time off. Perhaps you can work on something while your child does homework, or assist them to understand homework concepts and have them work through the problems on their own. Avoid doing the work for them as they are less likely to have motivation to learn it on their own or receive help later down the line; if they rely on you for school success, what might happen when you are not there?
7. Reserve one-on-one time every day with your child/children. While this may sound next to impossible to some of you, setting aside even 15-30 minutes of time for your child can create a closer and more impactful relationship with them; allowing you to know and deal with any problems, and to reinforce and maintain motivation for their successes with acknowledgement.
8. Create or maintain a connection with nature and create or continue exercise routines to meet physical and mental health needs: schedule time for exercise at least a few times per week, and family time outdoors at least once a month. Whether short or long, periods spent reconnecting with nature can reduce stress and induce a sense of calm and relaxation, especially when we keep the main goals simple and plan outings as a family.
9. Guide your eating habits back to a healthier place if you’ve let them stray over the summer. Make sure your child is eating a healthy breakfast in the morning and at lunch, which can better ensure that they have the proper energy and attention levels to succeed in the school environment. Send healthy snacks for recess at school such as string cheese or granola bars. Consult with a nutritionist if your child has unhealthy eating habits that are affecting his/her health. Great ideas for healthy yet enjoyable eating can be found here:
DON’T FORGET THE OVERALL GOALS:
Reinforce the Pros
Prevent the Cons
Create Healthy and Consistent Routines
Dr. Lennertz is an experienced child and family psychologist at Sunlight Center for Change. She is currently accepting new individual clients and will be running the Kids' Social Skills Group in September.
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