Camp

[To the tune of My Bonnie]

Now Gavin inspected the Eagles

And afterwards mentioned to me

"Their campsite is utterly spotless"

It sounded like bunkum to me.

Now Craig went to Boks for supper,

He said you make jolly good tea,

They said "It's not tea Craig it's soup Craig"

It tasted like bunkum you see

The Scouters are terribly hunky

Their SWAT team is scary to see,

The women are flocking around them,

It all sounds like bunkum to me.

The PLs were sweating and slaving

To dig a new lavatory,

The Scouts kept on filling the old ones,

They're all full of bunkum you see.

Scout Camp, Scout Camp

The buses that you ride in, they say are mightly fine,

But when they turn a corner, they leave the wheels behind.

CHORUS

Oh, I don't want to go to . . . Scout Camp.

Gee, Mom, I want to go, but they won't let me go;

Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The leaders that they have here, they say are mighty fine,

But when you get up closer, they look like Frankenstein.

The first aid that they give you, they say is mighty fine,

But if you cut your finger, you're left with only nine.

The water that they have here they say is mighty fine,

But when you try to drink it, it tastes like turpentine.

The biscuits that they serve you, they say are mighty fine

But one rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine

The spaghetti that they serve you, they say is mighty fine

They rinse it the toilet and drain it on the line

The cocoa that they serve you, they say is mighty fine

It's good for cuts and bruises and tastes like iodine.

The tents/cabins that you sleep in, they say are mighty fine

But whoever said this has never slept in mine.

The toilets that they have here are the best that they can get

Last night my tent mate had to go, they haven't found him yet.

[Sung as a round.]

Black socks, they never get dirty.

The more that you wear them, the stronger they get.

Someday, I think I will change them;

But something inside me keeps saying not yet, not yet, not yet...