Trombone
Trombone Jokes
What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
- Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
- It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
- Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
- Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes!
How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?
The doorbell drags.
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.
What is the rarest phrase in the English language?
"That's the trombone player's BMW"
What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs?
"Year-At-A-Glance."
How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist?
He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he can't swing.
What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a cellular telephone?
1. A optimist.
2. Bill "Carwash" Gingrich
What is the difference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
How do you know when there's a trombonist at your door?
His hat says "Domino's Pizza"
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone?
On or off.
Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind-driven, manually-operated pitch approximator.
Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.
Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by trombone solos.
It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument changes shape as he plays it!