The poor creature had to be put down. It couldn’t be helped. She had not yet lived a hard life but acted as though she had. The poor creature. Sean watched her pad around the living room while he nursed the cold beer in his hand, tilting her head every now and then as she looked out the cracked window to watch the birds at the feeder. He told her to sit down. She was making him nervous, and he needed to think about what he was to do about her condition. He didn’t want to have to put her down, but he just couldn’t think of any other solution. Sean couldn’t afford her medicine anymore, and she had only two days’ worth of pills left. The thought broke his heart. He had to be able to care for himself and his sweet little daughter, and he just didn’t have enough money to take care of the poor creature, too.
The pretty little creature looked at him with trusting love when Sean sighed. The look told him what he needed to do. It was going to be hard on him and his daughter, who was seventeen now, but they would make it. He decided not to tell his little girl just yet. She would try to stop him. If she cried, it would break Sean’s will to do it, but the poor creature had to be put down. He could not take care of her anymore. It was for the good of the family. He would have to do it tomorrow while his daughter was at school. She was going to a friend’s house for a slumber party that evening, so Sean would have plenty of time to take care of what needed to be done. Sean got up for another drink.
The next morning, Sean woke up early and said goodbye to his pretty little daughter as she headed for school. She gave the poor creature a hug and ran out to meet her friend, who had just rolled up the gravel drive. Sean prepared for the day with a beer and a shower before he trudged back to his room to wake the poor creature. She whined and laid her head back down, not wanting to get up on her weary feet. He patted her on the head a few times in encouragement.
“C’mon, you pitiful thing,” said Sean, hoisting her thin body from the dip in the bed. “I’ve got a treat planned for you. We’ll make a day of it.” He set her feet on the floor and finished getting himself ready for the day. When he got out to the kitchen, the poor creature was standing in the doorway, staring out into the yard. There were a couple squirrels running about the bird feeder. There were no lights in those imploring brown eyes. They had blinked out over the years. The only thing she really knew how to do anymore was follow his patient commands. The poor creature. He coaxed her away from the door and let her sit on the couch while he finished his morning routine. Sean was going to make this poor creature’s last day the best one she ever had. He had scraped together all the money he could find to make today a treat.
“How about we go get some ice cream for breakfast. That’s a great treat ain’t it? C’mon.” Sean saw her perk up when he mentioned ice cream. It was her favorite treat, but he never really let her have much of it. It wasn’t good for her health, and they couldn’t afford it most of the time. He smiled at her as they made their way to his rusted old truck. Sean had grabbed a cold drink for the road and cracked it open as his feet crunched in the gravel. He opened the door for the little creature, and she crawled into the passenger seat. Sean started the car and pulled out of the drive. He rolled down both of their windows to let the wind whip their faces. She loved it when he rolled the windows down. The poor thing seemed so care free in this moment. Sean had a second of self-doubt. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe she would get better on her own. He shook the thought out of his head. She hadn’t been okay without her medicine for a long time. He couldn’t afford the medicine anymore, and she had taken the last pill just this morning. The poor creature had to be put down. The poor thing. Sean snuck a loving glance at her.
Sean had the poor creature stay in the truck while he ran in to the old gas station and bought two cups of soft serve vanilla ice cream, one small and one large. The small was for him. He wanted to give his sweet companion of many years the best he could get. At the front desk, Sean dug through the crumpled gas station receipts and loose change in his pockets for the old bills he had gathered to pay for their adventure. Sean bought only the large. The silly little creature could barely wait for the dessert. She got so excited when she saw Sean walking back to the truck with her ice cream. She enjoyed it with the passion she had always had. She had always gone straight into things without hesitation and always had energy to keep up with him. In fact, Sean usually struggled to keep up with her. The ice cream was gone in just a few minutes, and the passionate little creature licked the last drops from her nail. Her happiness was just as tangible and contagious as it had always been. Sean was going to miss that far too much. He loved her almost as much as he loved his daughter. He wished she didn’t cost so much money to care for. That was why he had to put the poor creature down. The money. He had to spend so much extra for the creature between her food and her medicine. Sean continued to remind himself of that.
“Y’know what? It’s a great day for a walk. Let’s go to the park.” Sean put the truck in drive and headed out of the little farm town that had always been his home. The park held fond memories of his own youth, when he had first come into possession of the little creature by his side. He smiled at the memories that flooded his mind. “Remember when you would chase the ducks around the lake?” Sean laughed. “You never could catch ‘em, but you always tried. We were both so young. Those are some of the best memories there are.” The creature continued to stare out the open window, barely acknowledging he had spoken. The poor thing.
The park was as beautiful as it had ever been. It was the embodiment of nostalgia. Sean missed the pretty little creature keeping pace beside him already. They hadn’t been to the park together in years. He wished he would have taken advantage of the time before it had blown away like sand. They walked the circle path between the rows of trees and the edge of the little lake side by side. The little creature would not chase the ducks anymore. People smiled at her as they walked by, as if they could somehow remember what Sean remembered. He was suddenly saddened at the thought of his daughter. He should have waited and brought her along. She would miss the creature as much as he would. No. He was glad he was doing this without her. It would be hard to explain to her why he had to put the poor thing down. It would be harder for him to do the right with his pretty little girl begging him not to.
Sean pulled the poor creature into his arms. She was breathing hard, and he could feel the heat coming off of her. They had been walking for a couple hours now, enjoying the view, enjoying the memories. The time had flown. He wasn’t ready to go home yet, though. He wasn’t quite ready to let go of her. There had to be something else for them to do. Ah! She was warm because her hair was long. Of course! The poor creature needed a trim.
“How about we get you a haircut, huh? I know you like it better when it’s short.” Sean always hated having to take her to get her hair cut. He thought she looked so much better with it longer. Her lovely golden mane made him happy. The silly creature loved keeping it short, though. He could understand why. It was cooler that way. He would miss running his fingers through it and the feeling of her leaning into his touch. Sean dug in his pockets and gathered enough money to pay for the haircut and a drink. He ran to the gas station to grab a beer while the little creature waited for her appointment.
She looked so much like her younger self with her new haircut. This would be her last one. She acted like she felt better, too. Once again, the thought that maybe the poor creature didn’t have to be put down entered his mind. Maybe he would be able to pay for another bottle of pills. Or perhaps he could help her get better on his own. The thoughts were much easier to push away this time. Sean had come to terms with it. He would miss her, but he and his little daughter would be so much better off.
He got the little creature in his truck for the last time. Sean drove slowly back to his little house. The long gravel driveway growled its welcome home. He opened the passenger door for her, and, together, they walked slowly to the familiar house that used to be white. The vines that crept up every side made the house look as constricted as his heart felt. The best part about this house was its solitude. He would be able to spend the rest of the day alone with her and the trees outside. Once inside, he grabbed another beer and sat next to the tired creature on the dusty couch. They slept the afternoon away. He held her and she accepted his affections as she always had. God, he would miss her. Sean got up from the couch a little before five in the evening. The sun had just started to turn red. He kissed the poor creature on the head and walked outside to grab a shovel. He would need a bit of time to dig the grave deep enough. It didn’t need to be too deep, and the ground was wet from the heavy rain two nights ago. He would put a gazebo or something on top of the grave to honor the poor creature. He smiled at the thought. That would be nice. He had always wanted to put a small gazebo in the yard for her. She always loved to rest under the one in the park before it was taken down by a wind storm.
Digging took five hours. Sean was soaked in sweat and eaten alive by the mosquitos that came at him in waves. The poor creature was still inside; She hadn’t even been out to see what he was doing. The medicine made her sleep, and today had been a busy day. He supposed that was for the best. He didn’t want to frighten the little thing. When he got inside, Sean found the creature sleeping in his bed. His whole body was shaking either due to complete exhaustion or dread of what was to come. He knew it couldn’t be helped, but he would miss the poor creature. God, he would miss her. He turned away and walked out to the kitchen to grab a beer. Then another one. And one more. He wandered slowly back to the bedroom.
Sean grabbed the handgun from the drawer of his nightstand.
“C’mon, old girl. Let’s go outside.” Sean’s voice sounded off even to him. His vision wavered. The creature woke up slowly and looked at him with bleary eyes. She let out a yawn. He rubbed her on the head and told her again to follow him. The first thing she noticed when her eyes focused was his mud caked hand holding the heavy black weapon. She sensed immediately that something bad was going to happen to her. Her nails hit the wooden floorboards as she flung herself off the bed and tried to escape. Sean caught her by the back of her neck and shoved the gun into his waistband. The poor creature didn’t understand that Sean was doing this to help her, to help his pretty little girl. She had to be put down for her own good and his. She howled and cried and clawed at Sean’s arms as he carried her through the house and out the back door. Sean ignored the blood she drew.
The poor creature was frightened. She was shaking and begging Sean to stop what he was doing with those big brown eyes. He told her to sit and stay, but she would not listen. Sean picked the noisy creature up again and dragged her to the rusted old tool shed that sat at the edge of the yard by the oak tree he had planted on the day he bought this house. She was looking around wildly trying to find anyone to help. The poor creature. Sean grabbed an old rope and secured one end to the oak and the other to the creature’s neck. He knelt and pulled her close, hating that it would be his last time to do this. His breaths grew unsteady and his wavering vision became clouded with tears as he watched her paw relentlessly at the knot he had tied. He held the barrel of the gun to the poor little creature’s head. She whimpered. A flat crack shattered the silence of what was a very peaceful night. The crickets stopped singing. A soft thud sounded at Sean’s feet.
He couldn’t remember when he closed his eyes, but he knew he didn’t want to open them. They opened anyway. There lay the beautiful little creature that had been his closest companion for years. Dead. Sean untied the rope and picked up the limp body. He stroked the creature’s bloody sunshine hair. He carried her back across the yard to settle her into the makeshift grave. It only took an hour to place the wet earth back to where he had taken it from. It was displaced and formed a small hill in the middle of his yard. He absentmindedly hoped that it would disappear soon.
It was midnight. Sean didn’t bother cleaning himself up. He walked inside only to grab a case of room temperature beer and then went to sit on the back-porch swing. Sean did not cry. He drank and watched the stars. He drank and listened to the bugs begin to sing again. He drank and watched God paint the sky with yellows and reds before He finally settled on blue. He drank and waited for his sweet daughter to return home, staring at the mound of earth that matched the color of the poor creature’s eyes.
In a stupor, Sean heard the front door opened and footsteps wander about the house. His daughter was home. He tried to pull himself up from the rickety old swing, but his legs had stopped working. He would have to wait for her to come to him.
“I’m home!” Sean finally heard his pretty little daughter calling to him from the kitchen.
“Out on the porch, sweetie,” Sean slurred slowly through the screen door. He had been preparing himself mentally all night to break the news to the sweet young girl. The footsteps got slowly closer before stopping and opening the old screen door.
“Hey Dad.” She smiled at him with those trusting brown eyes. Her forehead wrinkled in concern at his appearance and the empty case of beer next to him. She reached back for the handle of the door. “Where’s Mom?”
“Oh, honey. The poor creature had to be put down.” Sean tried again to stand so he could comfort the pretty little girl. He hit the wooden boards of the porch before he knew what happened and saw the ratty shoes of his daughter disappear through the door. Sean began to sob as the chipping paint and splintered wood bit at his face.