Post date: Dec 30, 2015 11:51:45 PM
I have spent a good part of this holiday season re-connecting with college students. I ask them all if they are happy with their choice, and how their expectations matched up with reality. Mostly, their answers are similar. They like their school, but it is different from what they expected. Large or small, urban or rural, private or public, conservative or liberal, they have all found their place. Probing a bit more, I am struck with how important they feel "fit" really is.
As adults, I think we forget the importance of feeling like you fit somewhere - especially as a "first time away from home" eighteen year-old. When we go on tours, many parents see components like dining halls, fitness centers, and residence halls as superfluous. They are added extras for the real purpose of college - a good education. We have to remember though, that students spend far more time in the non-classroom areas of a campus than the academic buildings. Classes are a few hours each day. The rest of their time has to be spent elsewhere. It has to be an environment where they feel happy, safe, and welcome.
Many students have told me that their school of choice just "felt right." Many parents have dismissed this emotional response, asking how to get the student to use practical factors. "Why don't they see ________ as being the really important part?"
It is true that most people will be fine wherever they choose to go to school. As adults, we know that one can "make do" with any set of circumstances and that there is definitely a "college is what you make of it" component to consider. We also need to remember, though, times when we felt lonely and uncomfortable and out of place. We may have come out OK, but if that is how you fell every day, for months at a time, it is going to wear you down.
College should be fun. The search should be too. There are good fits out there for most students. When they find them, they will know - or at least be able to know what they don't want. Good planning goes a long way and helps get all parties directed towards that match from the start. Listen to that "gut feeling" as well.