It is easy to fall in love.
We fall in love with foods, people, outfits, stories, and even colleges.
The trick, when starting the college search process, is to fall in love (or even strong like) with a school that loves you back - and not fall hopelessly in love with a school that will never feel the same way about you. The worst part of my job is when I have to talk with families for the first time in April, whose student has been accepted to a school they love but the family cannot afford.
No love. Anywhere. At that point.
When you start to look, be clear with your student about what the family can afford and where their expected contribution range is. Check your potential EFC before looking anywhere (fafsa4caster) and get ready to say good-bye to most of the funds you have saved. Maybe you won't have to, but be ready.
The best part of my job is when a student finds a school that they really like, they get in, and they are offered a fabulous financial aid package. That is a school that loves them back. That is a school that wants them and will do what they have to do to entice the student to attend.
How to find the love?
The easiest way is to look at colleges where the student's numbers (GPA, test scores, AP stats) are well above the published averages for a particular school. The strategy doesn't always work. Sometimes, a student still may not be accepted, or the school could decide that the student has a low likelihood of actually attending, so they don't allocate many resources in their direction. Sometimes, though, it does. Particularly if a student has shown "demonstrated interest" in the school i.e. visited campus, emailed the recruiter in their area, or attended a local event. Often, if a student shows the college a little love, they will reciprocate.
Should someone apply to a school that they don't want to attend in hopes of getting a good financial aid package? Absolutely not.
Applying to a college tells them that you are interested in attending. You may change your mind, or be unable to attend due to financial reasons, but "trophy hunting" or simply attempting to leverage one school against another are risky, quasi-unethical practices and contribute to the glut of applications each year that make admissions seem far more competitive than they need to be.
Look for schools that meet your criteria.
Make affordability one of those criteria. If your family is unlikely to get need-based aid (bless you) but you want merit aid to help bring the cost down, look towards schools where your student will be in the top tier of applicants. Also, look at schools that have the resources to make significant merit offers. The cost of college is far more complicated than the "sticker price" you see on their websites. Go where they will make it worth your efforts. Find the love.
Falling in love is easy. Just be careful that your student does not fall too hard for a school that is not within their reach - either financially or academically. Broken hearts heal, and we do fall in love again, but when you start by carefully screening the options, the love is much easier to find.