Deal-With-Its or Why Is Everything So Hard Right Now?

Why is Everything So Hard Right Now?

It’s all about the “deal-with-its”

You may have noticed feeling more irritable lately, crying more easily, or just having problems taking care of things that don’t seem like they “should” be a big deal. You are likely experiencing a shortage of “deal-with-its.”

Each of us has an internal container for deal-with-its. Some of us have a very large container, and some have a smaller one. Throughout our day, in the normal course of life, things come up — big or small — and we use our deal-with-its to, well, deal with it. Some situations take up just a few deal-with-its, and some use a lot.

There are also things that refill our deal-with-it supply — things like a good night’s sleep, exercise, hugs. What fills up your container is individual to you, although good self-care is the common thread.

The key thing to know, though, is that when you run out of deal-with-its, whatever the next thing that comes up for you is, big or small, you will not be able to deal with it, because you are out. When you’re out of deal-with-its, the next thing that needs to be dealt with, no matter how minor, will overwhelm your system.

Right now, whether we are actively involved in work related to COVID19 or sitting on our couch, whether we think we’re anxious or we think we’re fine, the public health emergency is depleting our deal-with-it supply. So while we might think we’re doing OK, we may find we run into a moment when we can’t deal with it. That’s not because we’re weak or bad or defective. It’s because we’re out of deal-with-its.

The best thing you can do for yourself is make sure you do the things that fill up your container. Know the warning signs that your deal-with-its are low or empty. And be kind to yourself when you have an unexpected reaction. Because this is a tough time, and we’re all running out of deal-with-its.