Karate vs Bullying

Karate vs BullyingDave Thomas, 8th Dan

AKS Assistant Chief Instructor

Today more than ever, the media is replete with stories of schoolyard bullies and the effects on kids trying to get an education. Most kids just want to go to school and not be mistreated or abused. The stories making the national media often have dire consequences or tragic outcomes often involving firearms. Recently, I read a story of a father from Cadillac, Michigan, who is visiting high schools telling the story of how his extremely bright sixteen year-old son was tormented to the point of taking his own life.

So in response, school administrators adopt a “zero tolerance” policy for any in-school harassment or violence. So if the kid defends himself against the bully, he gets tossed out of school as well as the perpetrator. In this regard, I defer to Mark Twain who said, “First God made idiots, that was for practice. Then he made school boards.” I am not advocating violence in school, fighting should always be the last resort. But I want to see the kid who fears going to school have some recourse when all other avenues fail.

So what does the concerned, yet frustrated, parent do? They bring their child to your karate class so he can learn how to take care of the bullies. Sounds like a movie script doesn’t it? Unfortunately, we can’t fix all that is wrong in two hours.

As responsible martial arts instructors, we teach our students how to avoid conflict and altercations. We tell them that fighting is a last resort and give them the alternatives to help them not be a victim. We caution our students that we do not train students to injure others; we train them to keep from being harmed. We also show them the techniques and movements to use when there is no choice but to defend themselves. We tell them that a condition of attending class is – if there is an altercation, they must report it to their instructor.

In the process of learning to kick and punch, there is a fundamental change tat takes place in every serious student. They begin to grow and mature in their attitude. They learn that they do not have to live in constant fear.

Training yields self-confidence; so that when the schoolyard thug approaches them, they know not only what they can do, but also what to expect from the bottom feeder that is tormenting them. Most of the time, genuine self-confidence was what they were missing from the beginning; which gave them the victim’s persona. Bullies are adept at targeting someone that is fearful and withdrawn.

Karate builds self-esteem; it is always an amazing process to watch a student grow and develop as they begin to do skills they didn’t think they could ever do. Through the training and support, they learn to like themselves. They begin to appreciate that their hard work is rewarding them with rank and possibly trophies.

They learn greater self-discipline; to keep going even when it hurts or isn’t fun. I tell parents one of the first benefits they will typically see in their child from karate training is improved grades in school. They learn to meet their responsibilities first before pursuing their recreations.

As the student assimilates self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-discipline, it promotes self-respect. This is not a byproduct of training. It is a direct, intentional result. A good self-image will help the student make better choices and walk away from some name-calling dimwit without having to use misguided violence to defend his reputation or honor. It takes two to fight; you are not required to participate.

Mr. Lieb always said, “You truly can’t respect others, until you first respect yourself.”

And what does this mean when some future felon comes up and says he doesn’t like you or anything about you? The student should look him (or possibly her) in the eye and say, “Why do I care what you think?”

I tell my students, “What they think about you doesn’t matter. What YOU think about you does!” If our students will remember that when they are faced with a contentious situation, then we have trained them well.

I also tell my instructors, “You are making a huge difference in the lives of your students. You may not see it today or next month, but you are making a difference by taking away the fear and giving them positive attributes. That’s why we, as instructors, have to do our best every time we can.”