I still have to respond to Cat
5/8/2012
emailing today
4/20/2012 1100
Mom,
Here i have posted the response from
Sgt Catalina D
Ryan H
Garry C
Sarah J
I still need to respond to these.
on the to do list
this is a response from Sgt Catalina Delgato, a fellow afgan vet
i have not responded yet
i can edit the final draft here
easy peas-ee
From: Catalina Del (catalina.del123@gmail.com)
Sent: Wed 4/04/12 7:14 PM
To: David Coon (davidwcoon@hotmail.com)
Coon,
I did in fact read your response to the end. I found it very insightful and would like to take the write the kind of response your recovery letter deserves. It will allow me time to ask the right questions and the wrong ones to be better able to track where your mind is going, your recovery goals, and so on.
One thing I do know, and I am sharing from experience, is that alcoholism is an every day battle that you have to be willing to fight. The way that it makes you feel makes you ignore its negative consequences. One has to make the conscious decision to turn away from temptation and deal with life as it comes to you. Like you said, "The only thing that you have any control over in this world is how you react to things." I have full faith and confidence that you will be successful. Dont be afraid to ask for help and know that there are people who care about you. You saw that Mike and Sean and GySgt Bashant were there... I'm sure had more people known, more would have been present. We do care about you and want to see you succeed.
Talk to you.
***Always here for you***
2nd email
First things first... What did this "intensive treatment" consist of? Was it classes on the damaging effects of alcohol, the psychological aspect of why we drink, alcoholism as a whole, overcoming alcoholism? There are a million different topics that can and should be covered when discussing alcoholism and the body and mind's desire for it.
As mentioned in my previous email, alcoholism is something you have to fight every day. Like depression, there is no miracle cure for it. Sometimes the smallest incident can drive us back into the ever open arms of alcohol. Years of soberness can be ruined by the smallest detail. We do not want or need this to happen to you. You are stronger than that and hopefully with time, alcohol will no longer be your enemy. You ARE too smart for this to destroy your life. As corny as it sounds, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. So where do you think your second step should be? Forget what therapists say, tell me what YOU think your next step should be and why.
Let us turn our focus to your desire to be a teacher. Why do you want to be a teacher? What about this profession draws you to it? Mike and I have heard you discuss many different professions that you, at one point or another wanted to pursue. What do you have to offer your prospective students? You already have a degree, can you apply it towards becoming a teacher or do you have to go back to school for it?
I recall you telling us about your ADD and how you missed the way the medicine allowed you to focus. Why did you come off your medication in the first place? Looking back, how did drinking help you cope with your ADD? Did it allow you to focus or was being intoxicated a way for you to not have to think about the numerous paths your thoughts were taking you on? I do not doubt you when you say that ADD is burdensome but I do not know too much on the scientific aspect of it. If you would, I would like more time to become better informed in the subject. As someone who used to self medicate, I try to avoid medication but do know the positive effects of it. I believe that with the right therapy one can teach the body and mind to operate the way that it would while medicated. This is a subject that we should revert to once I have done more research.
How did you feel after your first DWI? Did you understand the seriousness of it?
Please elaborate why you felt you weren't taken seriously about your ADD.
Before I left NY you had started selling those vacuum cleaners and seemed to be very focused on making a successful business. What happened to that? How did you end up homeless?
Let us address your issue with "taking care of life's business." As motivated as you are about playing the piano or becoming a teacher, we need to shift some of that motivation to every day business. There is a direct correlation between being able to take care of life's business and success. I am sure you already know that. You cannot focus on painting the big picture unless you have all the paints and brushes you need. Your professional and personal success are the picture you are trying to paint. Paying bills, taking care of legal problems, etc are some of the brushes you need. Would you like some help getting your finances on track? Do you have a job right now? We can set up goals for you, track your progress, make sure you start saving money for your future. I would love to help you do this if this is something that interests you.
I am going to conclude my email with the following topic: Now vs. Not Now. Your definition of "now" is most likely different than mine. For example, I consider "now" to be anything I want to accomplish within the next 6 months and "not now" is for long term goals like enrolling and finishing grad school. If you would, tell me in days/weeks/months how you define the two. Also, what are your goals for NOW?
You provided a lot of information and if you dont mind, I would like to share it with my husband and get his input on any areas that I may have missed as well as any ideas he may have that would be beneficial to you. I want you to know that I am here for you always and will do whatever I can to help you.
I thought it would take me longer to respond but I am sitting at the airport on a layover and what a better time to do it than NOW. =)
Response from Ryan
Well I'm glad you're on the optimistic bandwagon! You'll notice the world is very simple.
Dismiss the negative thoughts/actions.
The entire drinking fiasco is over, that was the past. You'll be able to drive again. Plus gas is too expensive. Just use the bus.
But the ADD thing, I can understand.
Question:
What are your plans now and how do you plan to achieve them?
P.s I'm guessing a 95% return on this message.
Ryan Herber
(518)496-4466
Dad's response
David,
Your open letter seems to be missing a few acknowledgments to all the people that have stood by you in silence and support for many years. Maybe not the way you expected but, there, always, without a doubt. I am talking about the choices you have made and the consequences they bring . As your father I make it a rule not to discuss our situation with anyone. understand this, People will make up their minds about you within the first 30 seconds of meeting you and very rarely change their opinions ever, so why try. Your insights into ADD are helpful but not necessary as I do not judge a book by its cover. I accept you for who you are, its called unconditional love , when you have children you will understand. My challenge to you is quite simple and it would be to live up to the statements made in this document. David don't let setbacks rule your future. I think your on the right track.
Love
DAD
Sarah Jenks
Hey Dave, thanks for taking the time to share your most personal feelings about your ADD.
I don't really know that much about it and I'm sorry that I've been one of those people to question you taking medicine.
If you will allow me to defend myself a bit, when I was questioning you medicating yourself... It was your whole drug regimen (prescribed and un-prescribed)
I hope that now you have gained this clarity and insight into your life, you'll stick with the prescribed stimulants, no other uppers and downers to tweak yourself. You know now there is not much salvation in street drug therapy. Only pain and suffering.
I am glad you have supportive friends and I hope you find your way. I also hope you stay in touch. I would like to see you... Please let me be in your inner circle. I love you. I will support your healthy choices and always be here for you.
Sarah
Sent from my iPhone