A response to my letter of recovery
To: davidwcoon@hotmail.com
Subject: thank you ;-)
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2012 02:08:52 -0400
Heya David!
<heavy sigh>
Where to start?
As you can see, I am writing from personal email, not to cross professional boundaries but rather a desire to speak freely.
First things...I am so sorry about the situation with you & Royal. Working nights, I don't attend any meetings so I only know what is told to me briefly in the change of guards between myself and Dan. I was just as blindsided as you were. I am low ranking in this department & my opinion counts for little but here's my thinking---if it does nothing more than to let you know we don't all feel the same way.
I get it about the ADD meds from the SARRTP extreme perspective---that as a stimulant, they are considering it a drug. The line between alcoholics & drug addicts is simply semantics, alcohol is a drug. If you are asking for a stimulant, then you weren't taking the rehab to heart & didn't learn anything. I don't agree with this line of thinking but ok, so that's what they think. That being the case, IMHO, they should have "staffed" you (a term they use meaning a come to Jesus meeting--get with the program or else) way early on & said, "David, if you keep this up then maybe this is not the right program for you, or the right time." Maybe you would have left, maybe you would have been more selective about what you said, & maybe you would have loved their position for nothing more than the remaining days to give it a try (?maybe they are right....or maybe you would have learned even when you tried it their way wholeheartedly, it still didn't help).
You got treated the way you did for 2 reasons---first because ADD is not our area of expertise. I don't think ADD was recognized until the 70's & the average patient here was a child well before that, not likely to be diagnosed even if they had it. Women vets are facing the same difficulties here. We have all kind of hammers to deal with nails & you show up and say you're a screw? What? No, you're a nail dammit! It's the very argument for good primary care--they are the HCP likely to entertain all possiblilities, while a specialist may look at diagnosising a symptom from their own speciality area.
The other reason is an odd culture here that the opinion of those underneath you is suspect, not valid, or worthy of consideration. It is very odd & nothing like I have ever seen before. I am sure you have heard this before, but you are very smart--and so smart that it scares people. Maybe you are too young to recall the hair commercial where the model says "don't hate me because I am beautiful". It's sick how people will try to tear down people who are successful.
One of my favorite quotes is small people talk about other people, average people talk about events, & great people talk about ideas. You have made me re-evaluate my thoughts on the whole ADD meds idea (you made a valid point with the depression example). I can see the ADD & drinking connection---something I was trying to figure out when I asked you if you knew drinking & driving would lead to trouble, why did you start?
I understand the whole mind wandering thing too--it plagues me too...and alot of people I know as well. Are we all on some sort of ADD spectrum--some of us having it worse than others or is just part of being human? Would zero ADD tendencies create a whole population of type A personalities? There's a whole wide concept to talk about!
One last thought. Something I learned about medicine in general---the solution to the problem changes the problem.
OK...I have a to do list I am ignoring! (in the words of my son, "Constant novelty saps initiation"
You're alright David!