Life design

That's the painting of Josephine Wall - Spirit of the Flight. In difficult teenage days I spent few months doing puzzles with this picture - 3000 pieces. It was very calming.

It shows very well what I feel when I embrace the wind :)

And what I feel in these moments IS the essence of life for me.

Habit 3 Spreadsheet

Next Steps

Maja 18Feb17

draw once a day - something small, silly, ugly. Just draw, whatever.

Maja 10Feb17

ask Stef to clarify my confusion with Values and Principles (in "difficulties")
~~do some Visioning meditation with paper and colors~~
~~write up mission statement~~
after mission statement - continue reading Covey.

Stef Jan'17 - some ideas for first steps are:

1) Study Covey's 7 Habits, or at least Habit 2

2) Do class 2.3 if possible, and look up Visioning material in the Manual

3) Write up your Big Vision (for your ideal life), below, in as much detail as you can (but careful: not so much the practical details of what you - now - believe something has to look like, but more on the essence of what you want - eg. "I want to be married" is detail (and could be a miserable experience), the why or essence of the wish could be "I want to feel loved & secure" which is actually more specific: & if you keep the 'how' OPEN, you are more likely to get what you really want.

Focus on how it would FEEL to live your ideal life, list the VALUES you choose to live by (eg. permaculture ethics) & distinguish what are your non-negotiables from your preferences if you can

4) Then fill out the other questions, below, and book a T&L with Stef about this!

What's going well

Maja 12April19 - In few days I am moving to start putting my roots in a new place, which is really an old place - a Home that I left once when I was a kid and missed it ever since. There I will coming to people who are not only excited to soon have me around but already include me in the process they started of creating a community on regenerative farm also with a Forest School.

I went to the RC Women's Conference and had a chance to get closer to Polish Regional Reference Person. Now I have many people to have skype sessions with and I'm quite sure that I will work hard to start an RC community in Kopaniec or around

I got introduced to 8 Shields movement that teaches how to guide people into connection with nature. I have a book that's my new bible, it enlists plenty of activities to do with groups and methods of facilitating them and community building in general to support building a deep-hearted nature connection. This is exactly what I wanted to do but didn't know how. Now I do.

The Polish spring started and I get re-introduced to my native nature and cycles. I'm excited to swim in lakes and mountaing rivers and eat blueberries again.

I'm loving my relationship with my sister. I have spent in Warsaw last 6 months and we have ben talking a lot. We think in a similar way, have pretty much the same values, are concerned about the same things and find comfort in talking to each other about it. Recently she even opened up to talk to me about her relationship and I feel very honored because of it.

I discovered I love working with children and I want to continue that. I will be able to do that in Kopaniec.

I find myself more self-confident and joyful with time. I am even handling quite well the current global crysis. Despite many moments of despair and hopelesness, I get out of it.

I get enough savings to survive for a while until I find myself a source of income.

I have an amazing network of friends and RCers who are here to support me. I still have women from Gaia Tasiri and Academy and we can continue working together.

Maja 29March17 - article in Present Time :

Things are very good; more and more often now I have moments (and they get longer) of seeing, knowing, feeling just how reality really is; most of the time now I'm in touch with my fundamental connectedness with the whole universe, with my inherent "goodness" (I can't think of a better word) - not for anything I've done (I finally know I don't have to earn it!), but because I'm a member of the human race, and that is just amazingly wonderful. I don't really know how to put this into words - if I use your image of the obscuring cloud of pseudoreality, it's perhaps like saying that for more and more of the time I've got my head above it and can see.

I was interested in the new Present Time of People's experiences in cleaning up an incident, particularly their experience of boredom discharge, and what it's like to be at that stage with a particular piece of material. I've never done that with a specific incident, but what was interesting in reading their descriptions of the boredom was recognising it but in a different context. That seems to be where I am with all my material at the moment that relates to past events (whether recent or distant past); I'm bored with all that and feel I have better ways of using my time. At the moment, discharge comes most readily from contemplating the beauty of the world; it's not painful discharge either. Sometimes the tears just flow but they feel to be tears that are almost on the edge of happy laughter, and indeed they often become that. Sometimes there is shaking, but it's not so much terror as amazed awe at the splendour of the universe, whether brought on by something immense or something very tiny, like a fragment of birdsong. Beside those things I find the detail of my past distresses insignificant and boring - I have no interest in giving time or attention to them. For instance, right now the sun is setting behind the trees outside my window - and the birds are singing - how can I tell you how indescribably wonderful that is? If you know, you know, and you don't need me to tell you. If you don't know, how can I ever tell you? But isn't all that, and the attempt to communicate it, more important than the detail of some past mishap?

Pam Lunn

This woman is describing exactly what I meant in the Big Vision! So once again, I have a direction - RC helps people to connect with the World in which I am connected. This is the way to go :)

Maja 18Feb17 - see the "Big Vision" part. Also:

I'm slowing down recently. I think I am finally starting to feel safe - that I am good enough for this place. That results in working less and spending more time on what I want to do - which is studying, relaxing etc. I do less work which may backfire but I'm prepared to come back to working a lot any time. I think that I'm just going through process of discovering where want I put my attention to? There is some confusion, frustration and boredom coming up, but it's great! I'm finding my way.

Maja 10Feb17 - I came back to Covey's book and this time I really liked it! I read again Habit 2 and Habit 3. I want to give more time to studying it and more important - implementing. So I will do some exercises from Habit 3, which you can see in my Time Management design. In the meantime I want to give more time to clarifying my life mission.

Challenges

Maja 12April19 - I have behind me (not really behind yet) a very difficult period in my life when Stef died and I moved out of La Palma in panic, running away from accumulated emotional pain from the past. I left behind my home and beloved animals. I realize I wasn't very much designing and the decision might have not been the best one to make. But I don't see how I could decide otherwise in the state I was in.

Therefore I have a lot of pain to process. A lot of grieve of the lost dream and lost loves. A lot of anger.

In that hard time I got myself into short but intense relationship with an indigenous woman that I ended up hurting a lot and she said that I cursed myself with my actions and I will never be able to fully commit to anything until I "come back to this karmic knot", whatever that means. I fear that she is right and the wonderful commitments that I am about to make will just cause more pain.

I feel a lot of fears connected with the fact that I am going forward on my path and that means that I come closer and closer to being fully myself and that induces a lot of fear, sometimes it is hard to manage it.

Too bad that my sister doesn't come with me and we will be further apart again

Maja 25Feb17 - visions v. principles thing resolves - after class 2.7

Maja 18Feb17 - I actually did post this question in the discussion place below class 2.3 (in the old classrooms though)

Abena 12Feb17 - It's great that we are around the same place on the course now so I hope we can have regular discussions about the content. When I read your question below - and without revisiting the course material (which I will do later) - I think the principles you list are broader ideas than values. For example take 'justice' - everyone probably believes in justice, but the description or model they give of it will be different and it's within these differences that values can be identified. Does that makes any sense? I may have completely missed the point.

Just curious - how come you didn't post this to a course discussion space rather than a private area (as I guess it's something others might ask and the likes of me could do with refining too)?

Maja 10Feb17 - after class about Visioning I am confused about what values actually are and how can I clearly define them. I have a strong feeling of them, but making it clear seems to be difficult. I got confused in the part where it says that :

Principles are the territory and Values are the map. And examples of principles are : justice, integrity, honesty, service, quality etc.

Maybe it's because english is not my first language, but I'm lost here. I thought these were Values. Can anyone explain me the difference?

My big Vision

Maja 19Feb17 - I tried to visualize it again. And the picture like that came to my head :

I'm very privileged to have the ability to connect to the World - the ever present Spirit - to it's universal "face" and to the smaller ones like sun, fire, stars, wind, ocean, soil, plants, animals etc. I wrote below about "embracing the wind" - this is what I also call "talking to the wind" or just "being connected".

Doing that regularly keeps me tremendously happy and appreciative of the fact that the World IS and the Life LIVES. Exactly how it is. The so-called "ego" seems to disappear and I sink into admiration of beauty. It makes me feel safe, accepted, loved, motivated, inspired, confident, strong. I used to think that everyone can talk to the wind (and other beings) but I've learned that this is not so - but everyone is looking for it. And I want them to have it. I want them to realize how they are a part of the Spirit and I want them to be able to connect with it whenever. I believe that this will help to create and sustain permanent culture in the world.

I have no idea how I can share that with other people, how can I show them and help them connect - but I'm quite certain that this is my gift which I should and want to be sharing.

That would be my personal vision :

I see the world in which humans are constantly aware of the Spirit of the World. They are connected to it, fully belong to the Web of Life and Death manifesting the unconditional love through their actions.

Maja 18Feb17 - I spent some time meditating on my vision and mission. It's quite challenging for me.

I feel that I am in the right place, the right time and in the right spot in the process of re-emerging. It's not that I am doing everything I would like to be doing, but I have no doubts that I will get there, one step at a time. Right now I am doing some steps and am not in a big hurry, it takes time. I just want to be myself, I love myself! Of course, I want to be free of patterns, but I am working on that. I want to be more this and that (mostly self-confident and hopeful) but am not that bothered by it - I'm going there, it will come in the right time. It's like - I do want to lead RC Community but this is not the time for it yet. I am unraveling myself and I believe that this process will show me where I will end up. Or won't show it - it will just happen.

The thing is - when I try to imagine the great vision of my life, how it FEELS... It feels like embracing the wind (see the picture at the top). Like being in the constant spiral of satisfaction and action. It feels like the juice of life!

Maja 10Feb17 - I will come back to this after doing the visioning exercises and writing my mission statement.

and Mission statement

Maja 12April19

My personal vision doesn't change. My mission statement has changed because of a drastic change in my cirscumstances.

This also doesn't change:

I keep and develop my ability to communicate with Spirit. I regularly spend time admiring beauty, grounding and doing other practices that help me in that. Through my words, actions and creations I show other people that reality is benign and beautiful and I inspire them to search for their own way of realizing that.

And here it is the most concrete parts:

I help developing and managing the Integral Permaculture Academy to influence as many people as we can, develop strong and fruitful relationships in the Permaculture world and beyond.

I work for building the soil in the area where I will live and in educating people about it (Holistic Management and Soil Food Web practices)

I lead RC Community

I work with children in the Forest School

In every work with people I base my actions on RC and 8 shields model

I study Kamana Course to become a local naturalist so that I can better guide people into Nature Connection

Maja 19Feb17

I figured that my mission statement would consist of two main parts :

First one is about how will I bring my Big Vision to reality. I don't really know yet! But it will go something like that:

And the second one would be about other actions which I want to take, to realize the Big Vision of 8thLife (which is also mine, but less personal):

I help developing and managing the Integral Permaculture Academy to influence as many people as we can, develop strong and fruitful relationships in the Permaculture world and beyond.

I work for building the soil on the Island (and beyond - as much as I can), raising awareness about the soil.

I work on reforesting vast areas, so that the rivers flow again!

I take active part in developing Moneda Demos

I lead RC Community

All of that (and more) to create the Transition Island, where every habitant is a part of insular (and global) community, working together to keep the Island (and the world) thriving, guided by Permaculture ethics and the Spirit.

These statements make me feel intimidated, there is a sense of "yeah, right! How could YOU every do all of that?" but the stronger sense is "YES". Even if I won't end up doing all of that - I know I am capable of doing it as a human being and I think this will keep me challenged throughout my life - which is what I like :)

Why I want to do it

Maja 10Feb17 - Because I see my life as an amazing resource! I am very aware of the fact that THIS IS IT! It comes once (maybe more but it doesn't really matter as long as we don't know) and it happens quickly. I got the privilege to live in very exciting but also difficult times of transition. I don't know how much time will I have but I know I have to spend it as well as I can, to use this treasure for the benefit of all living beings. The Spirit floods me with unconditional love - I HAVE TO* do something useful with it - with my life. I have to give back.

*"have to" not like - "it's not in my power" but like - "I want it so much that I can't help but dedicating my life to it"