Embedded Files
A STROKE OF LUCK
A STROKE OF LUCK
FEB. 1980
In the meantime . . whilst I was still dithering -behind in the rent.
Saw an advert in the 'Evening Standard' So up to Piccadilly every night on the bus to 'Whisky a Gogo', Wardour St. A nightclub. Gone now. An Irish pub has replaced it giving out "Second drink free" cards in the street. (illegal)
Freezing cold. Dark at 4.pm. Constant drizzle. Drinking too much. Miserable. No future. Back on the tube to Tooting Bec at 2 am. Long walk to Wandsworth Common.
Very VERY depressed!
Back to Heraldry? Tail between your legs ? I was so deeply angry & resentfulthat they had done this trickon behalf of this other person.
I had been with them for 7 years !
"Taking the P*SS"
One small incident
- after the BIG one! (The scratch.)
&
YOUR LIFE CHANGES !
One night at the bar, I said: (ONLY JOKING!)
"Do you want a new price list? It will cost you a pint!"
Barman said ok. The present one was torn with aged brown sellotape across it.
I did another on hard white cardneatly in felt tip pen. Shaded lettering. Little cartoon drawing.
"Did not know you could signwrite." he said. I kept quiet. I couldn't.
Neat writing with a pen,but not lettering with a brush
Painting the names on the copper shields, at 10 mm high, was not 'sign writing' It was Olde-English wriggly Mickey-Mouse Antique - whatever. Make a mistake, and you simply wipe it off and do it again. You cannot do that if you are painting a shop front.
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Next day, the manager, assuming I could do lettering, got me to do 'Ladies' & 'Gents' on the doors.'Private' etc 'Emergency Exit' -
OK. Using Masking tape and fill with paint. Block stencil.
Then 'Basket menus'. Something for the DJ's desk. A picture of people dancingon a blank wall space. etc
Free beers . . .
A week later the boss said - "Would you like to go to Italy? "
He had a share in a restaurant there - 'Topo Gigio' ( Italian Mickey Mouse. Rimini. )
He wanted menus and pictures on the plate glass windows.
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Thought he was pulling my leg. People out there doing signs. Italy - the land of artists? Thought nothing more of it. I mean - I could not signwrite - that is doing PROPER lettering with a brush - and the spacing . .
Lettering at Art college was a ´Friday afternoon´ thing - Nobody went. Letraset was quicker . . . So ~ end of story.
Another week went by: Boss asked me how my passport was going.
I had not even started it. I was dithering . . .
Hey! My lettering was ropy - AND on a vertical surface? I was so frustrated. It DOES look easy - until you try.
So does playing the piano, or the guitar - All those fingers for ONE note!Fiddling with the keys
I HAD tried - and given up -
The Octopus van, The poster job in Hackney. Watching that chap on the pub wall.Sticking on the plastic cut-out letters.
After one long cold & drunken evening -
Plan 'A'. Just GO!
Get out of this freezing gloomy drizzle of February. I am always clammy and damp and cold! I need a break!
If it does not turn out, just say 'Sorry', and hitch hike around Italy for the summer! (Plan 'B')
These are desperate times!
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ITALY
ITALY
Plane ticket to Bologna. Someone picked me up, and we drove to Rimini.
Happy faces.
The BRIGHT SUNSHINE.
Huge pizza.
Fruity red wine . . .
JUST WHAT I NEED!!
- And "Here is 500 lira to get materials . . . "
I'm in it now!!
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If you think I am exaggerating, Please tell me WHY there were so few signwriters at that time - or any time - anywhere!
- Even today! (2021 !! )
If it was so lucrative, why not flood the market - like Polish plumbers? Why were they so hard to find? How could they charge what they like?
Because - DEMAND was outstripping SUPPLY
It was not 'signwriting' as such.
It was ADVERTISING . . .
Information Your Name and profession with Phone number, on a van or a window, is a one-off, and lasts (forever).
Beats continual newspaper adverts (lost amongst the others), which have to be paid for every week.
Then the fascias of course. Expensive 5mm plastic letters ~ hand cut & screwed on.
or just a "Quick painted sign" ~
You can see the attraction ~ anything to save money. BUT . . . .for some reason, there was a shortage of signwriters Why? Nothing to stop anyone learning it. They had classes in Victorian times
What scares people off?
The "Shaky hand" NONSENSE?
or was it this myth (put around BY signwriters, of course, that it takes "20 years to learn it"
Though I HAD tried!What was so difficult about it?
It just seemed so FINNICKY!Yet painting the shields was "finnicky"!!
Besides having to paint the letter - accurately,AND the right distance from the last letter, there was no way to calculate what space you neededto get all the lettering to fit a given length.
Yes. Been through this before.I could not get my head around it.
It just seemed so FINNICKY!Yet painting the shields was "finnicky"!!
Besides having to paint the letter - accurately,AND the right distance from the last letter, there was no way to calculate what space you neededto get all the lettering to fit a given length.
Yes. Been through this before.I could not get my head around it.
Why send me to Rimini - surely there is someone there?
<<< Home
There was.
One.
And he, of course, "Low Supply and High Demand" ~ was charging "An arm and a leg" Therefore, it was financially viable, to fly me over. And give me some pocket money! - than pay HIM! The air ticket + me, was less than what he would charge !!
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OK so far -
But after the initial euphoria I am starting to panic. I am up all night (full of pasta and wine) practicing on my bedroom window. No sharp edges. No method. Putting the brush everywhere except in the right place.
Small pointed brushes - useless.I needed a chisel-ended signwriting brushes,but I did not know it then.
SO frustrating! It looks SO EASY to do! Yet 3 mm makes all the difference. Wiping the tiny mistakes off, then smudging the rest. On and on it went. ALL NIGHT.
No kiddin' . . . .
I am going to look a complete fool tomorrow. They will be turning their heads away and muttering.
Dawn. Arriving too soon. Birds singing. Or screeching for their breakfast. And I'm drained.
All I have to do is roll up my sleeping bag and walk out the door. "F*** it !!" - and disappear.
But that is going to cause complications He is paying my rent while I am away. He'd stop it. The landlord would throw me out in my absence - and keep my stuff until I paid up.
I am between 'A rock and a hard place' as the saying goes . . . No way out.
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Next day. Headache. Bleary. (Nice wine though!)
You may think I am an alcoholic! NO!I only drink at night, after work!
-------------- A reprieve.
Replace the illuminated box sign first. There are companies doing this, but I am cheaper of course.
Pluck off the old perspex lettering. Clean up Apply transparent light tack adhesive film. 'Fablon' will do from the Iron mongers (A hair dryer heat will get it off if it sticks) Mark out the letters with felt tip and ruler. Cut out the letters. Throw away the "insides" of the letter Spray with car spray. Take off the transparent stencil. Pretty straightforward.
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The menus for the windows are not ready yet,So, in the meantime,I have the "Black Cat" Cafe to do. "Gelateria" on the window.(See below) I am at my WIT'S END.
On a more serious note ~ I am here on "false pretenses" Letting them believe I can paint letters, but I cannot !!
Visions of paintdripping down the windowand making a G.A.M mess!
What kind of paint for glass? What brushes for the sharp and tiny corners? And where do you get them? The ones I had brought were useless!The ones here are too.Too stiff. No points. For oil painting.
How to organize the spacing between the letters? You cannot just shuffle them around until they fit!
No one to help meNo decent brushes No speaky de lingo I only knew "Grazia" A fine pickle.
"Bitten off more than I could chew!" "A bridge too far" etc etc.I am not exaggerating!
It is 1.30 pm - the shops will be closing now for siesta. I should be starting already . . .
"Necessity the mother of invention" ?
"EXTREME DESPERATION" more like. Sounds trite now, but it must have been . . . Like a drowning man fighting for the surface . . .
HOW can I get out of "painting" it - Because I CANNOT paint it!! I have been up ALL night trying!!Cannot even think of an excuse!
"I have hurt my hand" ??No. That won't do - !! So do it a different way?HOW?
Saw some small adhesive plastic letters in a hardware shop. In a plastic bag Different sizes. No, I could not use them! But they gave me an idea. That job in Brighton . . . Cutting the letters out for the shop front!!
- But they were 30cm high - easy! Text for a menu is only 2 cm high - if that!
Cut out EACH small letter& peel off the backingFiddly fiddly getting a blade to separate the sticky plasticfrom the backing paper!and sticking it on the windowin the RIGHT place?Using tweezers?
IMPOSSIBLE!
My mind was going at the speed of light!( DESPARATION! - PANIC! )
AH! HA!
Put an adhesive strip on the window FIRST THEN cut the letters, and discard the rest!! ( Yes! Yes! I know!Obvious when you look BACK! )
LATERAL THINKING
LATERAL THINKING
Bought a roll of that 'Fablon" again Laid it out on the floor in my room. Marked out the letters in light pencil. Rubbing them out. Redrawing. Getting them right
Why didn't I think of this before? I was hypnotised with "PAINTING" it. No NEED to paint it!
Took the strip of Fablon to the window of the cafe. Peeled off the protective backing, and slapped it on.
"Slapped on" is an understatement. Creases, bubbles, stretching A little soapy water was all that was needed But I still did NOT know that it WOULD stick
It does.It STAYS on - Don't touch!then sticks after an hour or two. When smooth and stuck I cut out the letters with a Stanley knife. Later a little swivel blade for the tiny curves.
Computer lettering 15 yrs in advance!
There is a black cat there too Yellow eyes . . eating a cherry on ice cream.with a long spoon A white "line" around him/herwould have been better.
Meaning another layer on the back, in white,and trimmed.
So then I kept this idea for future pictures . . .
Why didn't I think of this before? I was hypnotised with "PAINTING" it. No NEED to paint it!
Took the strip of Fablon to the window of the cafe. Peeled off the protective backing, and slapped it on.
"Slapped on" is an understatement. Creases, bubbles, stretching A little soapy water was all that was needed But I still did NOT know that it WOULD stick
It does.It STAYS on - Don't touch!then sticks after an hour or two. When smooth and stuck I cut out the letters with a Stanley knife. Later a little swivel blade for the tiny curves.
Computer lettering 15 yrs in advance!
There is a black cat there too Yellow eyes . . eating a cherry on ice cream.with a long spoon A white "line" around him/herwould have been better.
Meaning another layer on the back, in white,and trimmed.
So then I kept this idea for future pictures . . .
"Why don't you paint it?" they say.My reason was that you need a "clear" color because the light shows through.
With paint, seen from inside, looking outside, the light shows up the brushmarks, because the paint dries unevenly (naturally, using a brush), causing thick and thin paint.
Only a fraction of a millimeter, but enough to make it look patchy. That means two or three coats of paint, to block out the light.
This is what is normally donewhen a window is painted.
On big lettering, not a real problem ~ but on small lettering . . . and keeping EXACTLY to the edges ~ or the edges will appear "furry" ~ no good at all.I was not into that yet.
(So - "Precision" seems to be part of the "secret"
But using a "soft" flexible tool like a brush,rather than a "hard" tool like a pen nib,seems to put people off.)
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Sticky heat. In the street. Waiters pushing past. Some apprenticeship.
<<< Home
With paint, seen from inside, looking outside, the light shows up the brushmarks, because the paint dries unevenly (naturally, using a brush), causing thick and thin paint.
Only a fraction of a millimeter, but enough to make it look patchy. That means two or three coats of paint, to block out the light.
This is what is normally donewhen a window is painted.
On big lettering, not a real problem ~ but on small lettering . . . and keeping EXACTLY to the edges ~ or the edges will appear "furry" ~ no good at all.I was not into that yet.
(So - "Precision" seems to be part of the "secret"
But using a "soft" flexible tool like a brush,rather than a "hard" tool like a pen nib,seems to put people off.)
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Sticky heat. In the street. Waiters pushing past. Some apprenticeship.
<<< Home
Popeye and Olive Oil, were both done with layers of fablon, starting from the bottom up, like a very shallow pyramid.
A black area was the base ~ an area next to the window.
The other colours were cut out and stuck on top.leaving a little black showingso it looked like a line around.e.g. - Under "Olive Oil's" arm.
This was done on the OUTside of the glass.
Of course, if it was necessary to apply it on the INside,It would all be back to front. - The eyes first & work backwards to the black area, last, for the "line" around it all.
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Looking back now? Crazy!!
- Like - 'Going all around the houses' ~ (Cutting out the letters)To "To go next door" ! - (Simply paint them) Cutting out plastic on the floor of the cafe!Pieces sticking to each other.So have to keep everything wet!People stepping past!Sticky bits everywhere . .
Meanwhile, this other guy is around, usually at upmarket Riccione. He saw me up a ladder once, and brought his car up so the front bumper was almost touching the ladder. I held my arm out at full length with an open pot of paint. Like: Touch this ladder, and you get paint all over your windscreen and bonnet . . .
Why worry about me?I am no competition!Rimini is more than big enough for the two of us!Ego thing.I am invading his "territory"Basic human nature?
Very "touchy" these ItaliansAn English guy would just ignore me!
NEON RIMINI
NEON RIMINI
BEPPE (Guiseppe) Boss of "Neon Rimini" saw me working in a disco one morning. Word had got around. Offered me a job 9.a.m. to 1. Mon to Fri.
This entailed covering the perspex with adhesive. Big rolls like parcel tape.I marked out the letters with pencil / felt tip, and cut them out.
They sprayed the quick drying colour.
Then take off the used adhesive maskAdd another sheet of film on top,and cut out the parts for the next color, and so on.
This entailed covering the perspex with adhesive. Big rolls like parcel tape.I marked out the letters with pencil / felt tip, and cut them out.
They sprayed the quick drying colour.
Then take off the used adhesive maskAdd another sheet of film on top,and cut out the parts for the next color, and so on.
I gave his lettering a new dimension, as well as teaching myself letter spacing.
Normally they used wooden block letters, all different sizes, in boxes like kids toys.
Put the letter on the adhesive film and draw around it. then cut it out, leaving the perspex exposed.Ready to spray the colour.
His sister did that,but she could not do lettering like me.Got jealous and picked all the time.That did not help!
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I was meant to return to the UK after 2 weeks, but work kept coming in, and I stayed all summer!Supplying a demand!
And I am still learning the job, from scratch!!
Painting lettering.See "How to paint letters" Main Page.
I was earning enough to pay rent here.in high summer!
AND paying my rent back in the UK.
No more free staff accommodation at Topo Gigiobecause I had finished the work there.
Normally they used wooden block letters, all different sizes, in boxes like kids toys.
Put the letter on the adhesive film and draw around it. then cut it out, leaving the perspex exposed.Ready to spray the colour.
His sister did that,but she could not do lettering like me.Got jealous and picked all the time.That did not help!
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I was meant to return to the UK after 2 weeks, but work kept coming in, and I stayed all summer!Supplying a demand!
And I am still learning the job, from scratch!!
Painting lettering.See "How to paint letters" Main Page.
I was earning enough to pay rent here.in high summer!
AND paying my rent back in the UK.
No more free staff accommodation at Topo Gigiobecause I had finished the work there.
THE BREAKTHROUGH
THE BREAKTHROUGH
OK.But we will have to start PAINTING letters soon.I am getting jobs in.Menus especially& cutting out plastic letters for them ?Impossible.
There is now a sense of URGENCY!I am on the spot!!
If THIS does not work,HERE & NOWI am back to crappy jobs again
For the rest of my LIFE!!
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Here, before, I did explainhow I started to paint the letters.
But it is more in detail
HERE
So you can get on with the story . . .
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IT IS BEING IN THIS DESPERATE SITUATION.THAT HAS CAUSED THIS HEIGHTENED AWARENESSFOR THE PROBLEM SOLVING.
I AM QUESTIONING EVERYTHING.
FINANCIAL INDEPENDANCE
FINANCIAL INDEPENDANCE
AT LAST!!
AT LAST!!
Sent the Heraldry firm a pretty postcard -
'My new career!'
Like "UP YOU!"
for scratching my shield,and no work for 2 weeks while they let me sweat.
NOW I have something even BETTER!
No one can give me the sack!
And I can turn a job down if it is too much hassle - or whatever.
AND there is always work on the way!
Beautiful!
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The REAL BUZZ ~ AT LONG LAST ~ WAS FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE - DOING SOMETHING I LOVED DOING
And complete strangers are stopping me in the street, wanting work done! - Crazy! - KICK STARTED BECAUSE A VINDICTIVE CONTROL-FREAK GOT SOMEONE TO SCRATCH MY SHIELD !
DID ME A FAVOR !!SHOT THEMSELF IN THE FOOT !
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If I had returned to Heraldry? -
He packed up about 3 yrs later, and went into Power tools - So what THEN?I would have missed this opportunity!
Me being a signwriter, would NEVER have happened!
I HAD tried and given up!Octopus van, Hackney, Sticky letters in Brighton etcand yet gone back to Heraldry in '77.
It was the only option.
- - for another 3 years!
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Then the Office Politics!Forcing me to leave
- Albeit temporary.
- But it was a dig at ME
- Because Triffy picked up work the same day!
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So I did not want to go back.But what was the alternative?
A part time job whilst I dithered in No Man's Land . . .
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THEN THE REALLY LUCKY SHOT ~ OFFERING TO RENEW THAT TORN MENU FOR A PINT OF BEER!
- And the boss needing a job done in Italy, of all places.
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Call it "Coincidence" ? "Divine intervention" ?"The fall of the cards" ?"Roll of the dice" ?"Just chance" ?"It is written" ?"It all came together" ?
Whatever . .
There was no "progressive development" to sign painting.
It was all "Hop, skip, and jump!"
Then PANIC !!
............................
I am financially ok for the rest of my working life !!There is work everywhere!!I LIKE what I am doing!Money is ok.I have hit the jackpot!
I'm FINANCIALLY FREE!
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About time too!
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When I say 'Financially independent', I mean Totally independent.
For instance, no work premises, so no extra rent needed.
All work was usually 'on site' ~ A fascia, or lettering on a truck, window or wall.
I can carry all I need in a shoulder bag.Paint, Tape, Kitchen rolls, Turps, Grease,all readily available in local shops.
A menu board could be painted in one's room.
Payment was always in cash.
You deal with the boss of the place. No misunderstandings with 'go betweens'
AND I can work in another country without speaking the language! They simply wrote down what they wanted (in Italian)I wrote down the price. (Always "Troppo troppo" - with a long face, of course.)
I copy it.
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Meanwhile
Very happy boozing with friends in the eveningTrip to San Moreno, that independent countryAnd scooting around on a mopedNo licence necessary
WHEEEEEEEE !!!
...............................
AOSTA - October 1980
Met Felix, and invited to work for him at the end of the season. So to Aosta, North Italy, and up to Cervinia.
His home-built log cabin right under the Matterhorn.
He makes skis. And prints T shirts He had an impossibly complicated homemade rotary machine for printing them. 5 or 6 at a time
(But few customers . . inc. tourists.Cervinia was a small village.)
Did a few designs for T shirts.And odd signs for local clients.OK. Then the work ran out.
He got me a job at Tropicana sign makers just outside Aosta.Slept in the store room. Same work as Neon Rimini ~ adhesive film on perspex, cut out and spray.
Beautiful countryside. Putting signs up.
They arranged a trip for me up Mt. Blanc.Also borrowed his scooter, no licence needed. When I told him I had been to the St. Bernard pass, bordering Switzerland, he stopped me using it.But what a trip!Snow! The views!
Then I got bored. Nothing to do in the evenings. Sit in a pub all night and drink? OK in Rimini with friends. Read a book? No English books around.It would be DEEP snow soon and COLD.
Left a thank you note one night, and disappeared. How could I explain?
Night bus Aosta to London.
UK
UK
And a stack of Inland Revenue letters. They had taken me to Brighton Crown Court in my absence, for non payment of tax! (Whilst working for the heraldry firm.) "Final warning" etc
Their revenge for me leaving them?The postcard I had sent them from Rimini must have sparked them off !
Anyway, a legal aid guy went through all the figures ~ cost of paint, accommodation for working, laundry, etc and it transpired that I owed them NOTHING.
( Got to watch these guys!! )
Gave up my accommodation and slept in the nightclub ~ after collecting glasses and helping out. Sleeping on the couches at 3 or 4 a.m. in a smoky atmosphere. Not pleasant. A nap in the park.
ITALY 1981 Rimini again.
Bus (London to Athens) ~ Got off at Venice. Train to Rimini.
Job at Neon Rimini again. Upped the wages a little.
Painting on windows ok now. (No. It doesn't take 20 yrs)!I was taking to it like a "Duck to water." !
I think this expression of my capabilityhad been building up inside me, for years.Like being pregnant,but not knowing what or when, or IF,anything would happen.
Hence the discontent for so many years.A round peg in a square hole.
Heraldry was ok if you wanted a lazy life.But basically a dead end.Like a factory job.
¨Zodiaco¨- Taking the photo . . .
<<< Home
Bus (London to Athens) ~ Got off at Venice. Train to Rimini.
Job at Neon Rimini again. Upped the wages a little.
Painting on windows ok now. (No. It doesn't take 20 yrs)!I was taking to it like a "Duck to water." !
I think this expression of my capabilityhad been building up inside me, for years.Like being pregnant,but not knowing what or when, or IF,anything would happen.
Hence the discontent for so many years.A round peg in a square hole.
Heraldry was ok if you wanted a lazy life.But basically a dead end.Like a factory job.
¨Zodiaco¨- Taking the photo . . .
<<< Home
The Boat.
The typeface is called "Pump" The "geometric" style I did in the UK
Season endedCafes closingthough I tried everything to stay.
Season endedCafes closingthough I tried everything to stay.
MONEY GAMES
MONEY GAMES
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But now the DARK side . . .Let us come down to earth!The beginnings of a new awareness - But first let me explain the Italian 'style' of conducting this business. And it was giving me not a little stress after 2 summers in Rimini.
Client wants 'JUST' this, and 'ONLY' that.'Won´t take you 5 minutes'- My price is always "Too much!"
(of course! ~
They assume: "Signwriters are expensive"- no matter WHAT price I say!)- so I come down a little.
His honor is satisfied. - He has ´won´ the negotiations - OK. Start the job.
But when you are half way through, they start ADDING ON ~ or at the end of the job.
"Just this - "and - "Óh I forgot that . . "- etc -
Possibly DID forget . . But another hour of your time . . .
The implication ~ Do the extra work or you do not get paid!
VERY SNEAKY, by UK culture!Or was I still naive?
Yes!
I thought that people would be grateful.They had finally found a sign painter!But no.They wanted all they could getfor cheapo cheapo!By whatever means -
Money rules!!
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I have learnt something since - The mediterranean culture is respected for being 'sneaky'. 'Sneaky' = 'Clever'.Machiavellian Muppets!
How to get something MORE for free.
But I was being 'English' - That's the job - OK.This is the price - OKShake hands and fair play.
A little naive as far as they are concerned!
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LONDON - Autumn 1981
I did not continue sign painting for a whileThe stress of haggling & getting the money.had put me off.It had turned into a contest -a game of "not getting used."
Like going to see a Greek restaurantA "friend" of the manager at the Whisky.I mentioned a price - not greedy -Pretty reasonable because we were "friends" -
And they all burst out laughing -"Ridiculous" - "Don't be silly" - etc.ANY way to keep their b money!Very demoralizing
So you do the minimum possible.e.g. -forget about selecting a nice typeface.Just plain block capitalsor even "Quick bash" !!F U 2
Signwriters out there in LondonIF they could get one -would charge them x 3.
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Worked above the "Whisky". The guy buys a film or two from the Cannes film festival. usually horror ones, because they sell better.Then copies and distributes them to hire shops all over the country.
I live in as security guard, because he keeps getting break-ins. I package the videos and play office boy.
Attempted to design the video sleevesBut it was too much trouble getting them printed etc., ~ So he finally settles for the free photo jackets supplied.
On the way back from the Post Office one morning, we are discussing what logo to haveWhilst waiting at the traffic lights, it turns to green.´GO VIDEO´! He exclaims . . .´GO Video´ it was . . . And as he was Irish, it was perfect.
He would be leaning back in his chairphone in his left handtalking to a video shop who was selling his video(s).His right hand would be searching within a HUGE pile of papers on his desk.Then he would miraculously pluck the right one out.
He did not need a filing system.
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I am still obsessed with Heraldry.It was the "work at home" bit that was the attraction.
Jewish Jack has a little art gallery near the post office tower. I put a couple of shields in the windowEndless visits but no sales.But he wasn't mean with the brandy . .
.........................
So, sitting outside a pub one day, inspecting the sign boardsEnglish Pub sign boards are the BEST - "Classy"Say no more
It is about time I started taking this thing seriously. Yellow Pages - Counted 50-odd freelance sign writers in London.And more in Sign companies, of coursefor how many businesses . . ? - Thousands!
The bottom line was ~ There was no other way to DO a sign on a van, or a window, ~ except to paint it. No wonder they had a reputation for charging "an arm and a leg"!And they could, because they had the MONOPOLY of the ´How to do it´
i.e. "Take it or leave it!"I'm alright Jack!
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Anyway . . .
Suddenly I am in a profession, in London, where there is a continual demand ~ where I can charge what I like, (in theory) - I hardly have to advertise - It's "Word of mouth"I do not need premises - or a vehicleI can carry all I need in a shoulder bagand it's easy for me to do!!
And this from someone who never cared about money! Only HOW I earned it,
Very strange how life turns out . . . All because of one vindictive person requested the scratching of my shield -
- and me wanting a free pint !!
I can't get over it!
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TOWN & COUNTRY SIGNS
TOWN & COUNTRY SIGNS
Got a job in a signmakers. Town and Country signs at Poplar. East End.I wanted to learn all I could - a crash course - then OUT.
Once you have tasted independence there is no going back.
The foreman circled around the first week not saying anything. Then starts on me.
Chap at work had given me a phone number of a guy wanting a truck done. I did it over the week end.
"Should have gone through the company" he said.
"Well! - Tell that to the guy over there, who passed on the job to me!HE should have gone through the Company . . . "
(I did not say that because it would poison the local atmosphere!)
Ah! But I was the new boy, see - picked on - here we go again - petty office politics!
Ho Hum.
Clients avoiding the Companies to save money!Who were charging 2 Arms and 2 legs !!!
Saw a large 'A' board there, for a pubDone by a freelance signwriter - (Who, like me, liked his independence)
Then selling it on to the pub for 200 pounds (1983)
( = £675 in 2020 )
Saw a large 'A' board there, for a pubDone by a freelance signwriter - (Who, like me, liked his independence)
Then selling it on to the pub for 200 pounds (1983)
( = £675 in 2020 )
Practicing the 'Pin stripes' on vehicles.Only one job ever doing this.
Another time: Guy wanting his pin stripe repaired, on his Rolls.It was adhesive plastic! He never noticed. Paint for windows, that had dryers in (matte)so that when you finished the line with the first coat, the paint was dry enough to start the second coat (gloss) - VERY useful
(If you paint the second coat on the first gloss coat which is NOT BONE dry , it will wrinkle up.
So sometimes having to leave a job,and return on the morrow to do the second gloss coat - irritating.Especially if he is using the truck that day.
When, with THIS paint, you had the time to finish the same day -
And on windows, painted on the inside,you used the quick drying matte for both coats.That means you could add the varnish almost immediately.
.......................................................
OK. I now think I know enough for basic general work. The rest is practice.
A little advertising in the free magazine "LOOT".
When the clients found I was NOT charging "an arm and a leg" (I put that on my card)then "word of mouth" soon spread.
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To get a price for a client, I would phone up 3 or 4 private sign writers. Great variations in price. e.g. A quote for a van - the lowest 85. The highest 250. Companies charge up to 400 or more, see later.
So I go in at, say, 150 to 180, and usually got the job. Word gets around - I do "NOT charge an arm & a leg!"
Another time: Guy wanting his pin stripe repaired, on his Rolls.It was adhesive plastic! He never noticed. Paint for windows, that had dryers in (matte)so that when you finished the line with the first coat, the paint was dry enough to start the second coat (gloss) - VERY useful
(If you paint the second coat on the first gloss coat which is NOT BONE dry , it will wrinkle up.
So sometimes having to leave a job,and return on the morrow to do the second gloss coat - irritating.Especially if he is using the truck that day.
When, with THIS paint, you had the time to finish the same day -
And on windows, painted on the inside,you used the quick drying matte for both coats.That means you could add the varnish almost immediately.
.......................................................
OK. I now think I know enough for basic general work. The rest is practice.
A little advertising in the free magazine "LOOT".
When the clients found I was NOT charging "an arm and a leg" (I put that on my card)then "word of mouth" soon spread.
--------
To get a price for a client, I would phone up 3 or 4 private sign writers. Great variations in price. e.g. A quote for a van - the lowest 85. The highest 250. Companies charge up to 400 or more, see later.
So I go in at, say, 150 to 180, and usually got the job. Word gets around - I do "NOT charge an arm & a leg!"
So I do not have to look for jobs!They are almost queuing up!Every 2 or 3 days, the phone is ringing . .
FREEDOM
FREEDOM
I have no expenses - No wife or kids!Just the pub!
No. I am not "Gay"if that's what you're thinking!I am just PETRIFIED at being financially responsible for a people situation that isOut of my control !For the next 20 years at least!THAT would completly change my life style.
Control your wife? Control your kids?You turn into a domestic policeman!Continual stress.
I KNOW!"Been there. Done that." Not married - Just moved in for a while. with a divorcee + 2 girls, 3 yrs and 5 yrs.Just to see
I lasted a year.No thanks!Never ANY peace & quiet!
And having to explain all the timewhat I am thinking about "Our relationship" &where I had been !!Like some sort of continuing court case,where I have to "prove" my "love" etc etc etc
Then I want to make love,but she doesn't feel like it.
And vice versa.
It gets very complicated . . .
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I am only speaking for myself, here.If YOU are happy - OK!
Ran into a guy from Rimini. Rimini now quiet. Tourists going on cheap package holidays nowto Thailand, Florida etc. Opening up a pizza place in north London. A window job.
Got up to speed by doing trucks in the East End. Had to be done on a Sunday ~ the only time they were off the road.
And because of this restriction in time, naturally perfected this quicker way of lettering
<<< Home
The adventure was underway. No more dead end jobs. No dickheads to give me the sack because I had ruffled his prickly feathers.
Plenty of variety, working all over the place.
Yes, a day off whenever.A tea break whenever . . .I am a round peg in a round hole!
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Doing a "Luton" van - My favourite, similar to the one below Nice smooth surface. No bolts. 2 sides and the back.
Start at 8am when they open. Stay as long as possible till 8 at night Sometimes the next day, finish at 2 or 3 pm. Pick up 180 - 200 cash.Companies were charging about 400 + VAT
RAIN
RAIN
The only REAL problem,
was the endless re-organisations, because of the RAIN.Tape up and mark the letter spaces on the tape.
Go for a quick breakfast. Start painting. Do half a side - and it starts spotting rain. Is it going to ease off ? Grey clouds and breeze from the East.No it is not.
So. Off with the tape and call it a day. Maybe tomorrow. If he is using the truck tomorrow,money delayed.
More re-arranging schedules . . and the next job has to wait and HE gets the hump. Thinks I`m playing 'Hard to get' (Sigh!) - Thinks I am in the pub all day! So maybe HE will keep me waiting for the money. Can't win can you!
Anyway -
I left the tape on, once. Because all the letter spacing was marked with felt tip, on the tape.
On the RED tape - Mistake!See "How to paint a truck"
I did not want to spend an hour doing the measurements all again the next day.
The RED tape is like sellotape. It has glue of course - very light tack and very thin & colored red. (see later)
Came back next morning.
<<< Home The glue had stayed on, of course - Not on the tape - on the truck !! A grey mottled strip over and under the painted letters. THAT had to be cleaned off. It comes off in little bits like rubber. Takes ages . . Water / Turps, has no effect. and you damage the top and bottom edges of the letters . . . The cellophane bit had separated from the glue, and was hanging festooned all over the place. AND the red dye had separated, and was dripped all down the side of the truck - like blood.
Also, look closely, and there are pock marks in the letters, where the paint had still been wet when it had started raining They have to be gone over again
And they are still visible if you look closely. He would have had a FIT if he had seen it.
Now you know why rain is more than a mild inconvenience.
Rain is a MAJOR MAJOR PAIN
Read the weather report the night before.The first thing you ask on the phone: "Have you got shelter?
Cannot use tape this morningbecause of the damp air?
Use the "Cooper" font.No sharp edges needed top & bottom.No straight lines needed. (Hardly)Do not need tape. Just a chalk snap line.
To play safe, I am starting to use 'ordinary' masking tape (Foto below)
BUT, do not leave it on overnight. It dries out. You will have to scrape it off!
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I HATE HATE HATE
Endless English DRIZZLE
Grey blanket skies.
Like living in a box!
Have a good downpour
and be done with it !!
Photo below
William Hill. Betting shop.
"I BET YOU - It won't stop drizzling."
Pun intended
William Hill. Betting shop.
"I BET YOU - It won't stop drizzling."
Pun intended
NO DRINKING ON THE JOB !!
But do not be tempted to go to the pub until the rain stops. NO drinking during the day!!! Golden rule.Don't care what they say. "A few brandies to stop the shakes"? ABSOLUTE RUBBISH!
Anyway - Alcohol makes you sloppy. - Like:
'That'll do . . .'
or 'He won't notice that!'
or
'Oh F**k! - I'll have to wipe it off& do it ALL again!
NO !!!!!
Always do your best in the circumstancesMost of your work comes in by"Word of mouth"
A potential customerseeing a mistake herewill assume you will make a mistake on HIS van.
THIS work,HERE & NOW,beats ALL advertisements in the paper.
It IS your advertisement!Your name & tel. no. is in the corner.
It is travelling around town . . .
..............
But do not be tempted to go to the pub until the rain stops. NO drinking during the day!!! Golden rule.Don't care what they say. "A few brandies to stop the shakes"? ABSOLUTE RUBBISH!
Anyway - Alcohol makes you sloppy. - Like:
'That'll do . . .'
or 'He won't notice that!'
or
'Oh F**k! - I'll have to wipe it off& do it ALL again!
- - Oh leave it!'
NO !!!!!
Always do your best in the circumstancesMost of your work comes in by"Word of mouth"
A potential customerseeing a mistake herewill assume you will make a mistake on HIS van.
THIS work,HERE & NOW,beats ALL advertisements in the paper.
It IS your advertisement!Your name & tel. no. is in the corner.
It is travelling around town . . .
..............
MONEY AGAIN . .
MONEY AGAIN . .
We have a slight problem here -Getting paid!
Here, in the UK,I found that Englishmen did not haggle.
I was too much? Then it was: "I'll give you a ring sometime." (~ meaning "Maybe".)Then i would come down a little.
Englishmen did not add on, and always paid up! I am NOT saying that because I am English. It is true.
(Yet, in Spain, later, not so true . . .)
In my eyes, all clients were equal.But others have axes to grind. A chip on their shoulder.Revenge against the British Empire !!!And I represented it . . simply because I was English.
What´s Empire got to do with me? I did not benefit from it.
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And now the new experience. No nationalities mentioned, as we are now in 'Political correctness' mode& Rascism. etc.Though you will guess soon enough. ~
I repeat -In my eyes, ALL clients were equal.BECAUSE Cash is cash is cash!And it it legal cash.
-----------------------
I did a nice, really nice, fascia for a restaurant. "Once they see this, I will have lots more work!' Tigers, jungle etc. 2 (3?) days up and down a ladder. Put my heart into it.
Now he wants me to paint the restaurant INSIDE before he pays me! Walls and ceiling!
"WHAT!"
"No! I need the rent! - Pay me for the sign!"
I threaten to paint it out. I am within my LEGAL rights here ~ to quote ~ "Return it to its original state."
Oh! Now he is going to take me to the 'Race Relations Board" ~ I am a racist!
And THAT could go on & on & on & on . . . He is determined to keep his b. money!
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~ I continually heard stories about 'these people' and the advice was always the same.
"Money up front - or leave them alone." ~
(They would never pay anything up-front in a million years.)
So in future, I was always "too busy" if their friends approached me!
They turned me INTO a (business) racist!It is NOTHING to do with colourIt's their cultural difference:
Any way to avoid paying!
"Aren't we clever!We got it for nothing!"
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No rights or wrongs about it. No scruples. No morals. And it is all smiles and a hand on your shoulder
"Give me a good price!"
'Oh I wish I was an artist!'
- Bring you a cup of teaand a sandwich!
(And NO INTENTION of paying you!)
because
(I am a representative of the bl**dy British Empire)
-----------
The old time East Enders did not put up with such nonsense ~Money owed? ~ knock on the door, walk in, pick up the TV, and walk out!
'Going to the Police?' You'll get a few bricks through your windows in the middle of the night . .
"Wasn't me Guv! - I was playing snooker - got witnesses!"
I had a long liquid evening in the pub that nighttrying to calm down . . . and thinking about bricks . . . . Feeling so USED . . . No wonder people get 'Rascist!'
Only 5% of (Real) Englishshortchange me.Yet 100% of immigrants and ex-colonials, try it on!
..............................................
There are going to be a few stories like this. Nice being 'Independent' ~ 'doing your own thing' ~ etc. But you are surrounded by Cowboys and Indians who want it for nothing!
And what a coincidence ~ 99% of the people that short changed me were ex-colonial . . . Revenge against the Empire, the only way they knew how.
I DO understand.Having an occupation force in your own countrybossing you about!Britain ruled India, since 1700& Ireland for centuries!
BUT
I had nothing to do with it!Why pick on me?
THAT´s Racism!
In ten years, only one or two Englishmen short changed me. And they were almost all ex-prison. In for robbery or fraud.
e.g. BRIAN
e.g. BRIAN
Served 15 yrs for 'armed robbery' So he said.Are we supposed to be impressed?
"I learnt Signwriting in prison ~ now I can rob them legally!"
Useless. He can only do "Quick bash"and not even quick.
Smoking spliffs all the time. Makes you lazy. (And the shaky hand!)
But tons of work in, because he is the first Sign co. to advertise on the local London radio. And we are central ~ next to Kings Cross station.
That was his only stroke of genius!
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One morning . . .he had a large 5mm perspex sheet."What's on?" I say."We have to put Addison Lee's logo on it. (Motorbike couriers)."I am going to get the logo silk screened on for 80, and charge the bloke 120. We all go and fix it."
"Brian. I will do it for a fiver." ( Rimini style )
Cover the perspex with adhesive light tack film.
Go to the copy shop and blow the logo up. It is in 16 pieces now, but no matter.Spray the backs of the paper logos with glue.Lay the logo pieces on the fablon film.
Cut the logo out including the film.
Take away the inside of the letters.
Spray the bare perspex with a small tin of car spray.Take off the paper logos and the film.Job done!
He would get 115 CLEAR now, not 40.
------------
On the way back in the van, he cut my wages down from 120 pw to 100 pw.
Would you BELIEVE!!
(I was expecting a drink out of itto say the least!)
"Times are a bit rough" was all he said.
-------------------
I put it down to injured pride. (HE, as the boss, should have thought of that method.)
I countered that by sleeping in the studio to save rent. OK for a couple of weeks, but then he got the night watchman to evict me.
I left that morning, taking MY heater. The only heater in the place, and thawing outside - February .
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