The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert (2010)
Post date: Nov 22, 2014 8:02:55 PM
Book Review
Review
'The Compassionate Mind' is an interesting and detailed book aimed primarily at developing a compassionate mind in those who struggle with depression and anxiety. Gilbert explains how our human brain has evolved over millennia, and that we are living with a brain which originally developed in a world where the fight/flight response was key to survival. Our modern brain, with all its additional complexity, can easily be overwhelmed when powerful emotions trigger our basic responses. Attentiveness to danger (and its attendant anxiety) can be helpful sometimes when we are exposed to risky situations, but it can be unhelpful in modern-world situations when we experience stress and anxiety when it can kicks in.
Gilbert argues that we need to understand our brains and the way they work. He describes three 'emotion regulation systems' beginning with the threat/self-protection system:
...' the system that focuses on threats and self-protection, the incentive/resource-seeking system that focuses on wants and achievements, and the soothing/contentment system that focuses on safeness and connectedness. By bringing balance to these, patterns of brain activity will emerge that create states of well-being, pro-social values and behaviour.' (p477)
For Gilbert the evolution of the human brain with its old brain/new brain responses needs to be understood for us to have compassion for ourselves and others when our more basic human instincts overtake us:
“In many recent books and in research, compassion has been closely linked to happiness, but I believe that compassion is far, far more than that. A compassionate mind actively takes you on a journey deep into your evolved being – down into the building blocks of your brain and the genes that built it...' (p473)
In The Compassionate Mind, Gilbert, a practising clinical psychologist, claims that:
“Learning and practising compassion will help us feel more content and at peace with ourselves and also more concerned for others.”(p95)
The second part of the book provides the reader with tools to use to achieve a 'compassionate mind' in the form of strategies, exercises and worksheets. For Gilbert, compassion is the route to happiness and resilience, and to better relationships:
'...compassion can assist us with many aspects of our lives, not just happiness. It can help us to cope with failure, to take risks, to practise and deal with our failures on the path to competence, to deal with criticism and conflicts, to develop more harmonious relationships.' (p215)
I got a lot more out of this book than I expected to, and I particularly responded to the passion of the author, and his belief in compassion as a route to social justice:
...'our education system, and indeed the whole fabric of our society, will have to take far more interest in our psychology and the training of our minds if we really want to create a compassionate society and live in harmony with each other and the environment that sustains us' (p474)
Academic interest
This book is referenced with notes pages, and acknowledges research and from traditional psychology as well as the positive psychology movement. The background of the author in clinical psychology is apparent throughout.
Practitioners
There is much valuable content in this book for practising psychologists and for counsellors and life coaches – particularly the exercises and worksheets in part 2.
Self-helpers
This is quite an academic read, particularly part 1, but the language is clear and the content is very useful. People who struggle with stress, anxiety and depression and those who want to understand and develop their compassionate minds will probably find the exercises and worksheets in part 2 helpful.
Best Bits
The table below gives a clear overview of the attributes of a compassionate person, and the skills on compassion.
TABLE 1: Compassionate attributes and skills (p.236)
Compassionate attributes
- Motivation to be more caring of the self and others.
- Sensitivity to the needs and feeling of the self and others.
- Sympathy: being open and able to bee moved, and emotionally in tune with our feelings, distress and needs and those of others.
- The ability to tolerate rather than avoid difficult feelings, memories or situations.
- An empathetic understanding of how our mind works, why we feel what we feel, how our thoughts are as they are – and the same for others.
- An accepting, non-condemning, and non-submissive orientation towards ourselves and others.
Compassionate skills
- Deliberately focusing our attention on things that are helpful and bring a balanced perspective.
- Mindful attention (see Chapter 7) and using it to bring to mind helpful compassionate memories, images, and/or a sense of self (see Chapter 8).
- Thinking and reasoning, using our rational minds, looking at the evidence and bringing a balanced perspective.
- Writing down and reflecting on our styles of thinking and reasoning (see Chapters 9 and 10).
- Planing and engaging in behaviour that acts to relieve distress and moves us (and others) forward to our (or their) life goals – to flourish (see Chapter 11).
Of the compassionate skills included in the table above, Gilbert rates mindfulness as one of the most valuable:
“Of all the skills... becoming 'mindful' is one of the most valuable. Basically 'mindfulness' is learning how to pay attention in the present moment with evaluation or judgement; it's using your conscious awareness and directing your attention to observe and only observe.” (p249)
Gilbert talks about compassion for others, and also about self-compassion, and argues that, with compassion it becomes clear:
'that giving in to what others want simply because they want it isn't kind?'... and ... 'giving in to ourselves is not compassionate, especially when it can be harmful. The way we recognise our need to limit ourselves – the food we eat, our consumption of alcohol and other appetites and desires – can be an important step in developing compassionate behaviour. It is about compassionate protection – looking after – not moral self-denial. It takes courage to acknowledge this and work on it.' (p442)
About the author
Professor Paul Gilbert (University of Derby) has a background in clinical psychology. He founded Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT) and Compassionate Mind Training (CMT) - see http://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/ and was head of the Mental Health Research Unit, Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. He has written a number of books, including The Compassionate Mind, alongside books and articles on topics around social behaviour, shame and depression.