Post date: Oct 9, 2014 5:23:43 PM
There is now a wealth of evidence from the positive psychology movement that helps us to understand what makes us happy. Seligman has written about 'Authentic Happiness' (2003) and the idea that we can 'Flourish' (2011) when we increase the 'positive emotion, engagement, meaning, positive relationships, and accomplishment' in our lives (p.12)
Fredrickson (2009) has identified ten positive emotions which enhance our happiness and wellbeing when we experience them. They are 'joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love' (p39). She has shown that we need to experience more positive emotions than negative ones (a ratio of 3 positive emotions for every 1 negative emotion has been shown to be about right). Positive emotions help to build our resilience, so taking the time to notice and savour positive emotions when we experience them is really important.
Spending money on others makes us happier than spending it on ourselves (Rath & Harter, 2010). It has also been found that giving to others, whether by buying gifts, volunteering, or simply being supportive and kind, not only makes the recipient happier, but also makes us happier as well. Acts of kindness have been shown to have a 'ripple effect' – people tend to pass them on. Check out www.randomactsofkindness.org for more about this, and also www.worldsmileday.com where you can find out abut 'World Smile Day' (3rd October in 2014 and 2nd October in 2015) which is about smiling and encouraging others to smile. A simple, genuine smile brings positive emotions to ourselves as well as to others.
In 1998 the New Economics Foundation (Aked et al) produced the 'five ways to wellbeing' as part of a government funded review of the evidence for happiness – the '5-a-day' of wellbeing they identified are: connect, be active, take notice, keep learning and give. The final report of the Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project identified that there are clear health, financial and social benefits to policies that contribute to people's happiness and wellbeing. This report concluded that policies should take account of their impact on wellbeing. rather than simply on GDP as now, and it resulted in the introduction of annual government measures of our wellbeing as a nation – when you hear news items about how happy we are, this is where it comes from.
How can we enhance our own wellbeing?
Positivity and positive thinking may sound easy, but they're not! As Oliver Burkeman pointed out in his book 'The Antidote' (2010), trying to think positive can, perversely, have the opposite effect. Daniel Wegner found that when people are asked not to think about a 'white bear', they find they are automatically scanning their minds to check that they are not thinking about white bears... and so, of course, they find that they are. Positive thinking is not about avoiding negative thoughts, or about suppressing our anxieties (that doesn't work), it is about recognising and accepting them, and about checking that they are reasonable, realistic and not over exaggerated, and then turning our attention towards some of the positives around us and focusing on those things that help to improve our mood (rather than on those that drag us down). Writing can really help us to do this (Pennebaker, 1997) as it can help us to examine our thoughts more methodically. Journal writing has also been shown to be beneficial to wellbeing when it focuses on the positives.
What is hard to do is to get the balance between negative and positive thinking so that the negative thoughts and experiences that inevitably happen don't overtake us and drag us down, preventing us from appreciating and enjoying the small things in life that help us to recover by bringing those positive emotions that help to build resilience, and help to buffer us against the struggles that may lie ahead. Some people use mindfulness meditation, which helps them to focus on the here-and-now – largely developed through the work of John Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness meditation has proven highly effective in the treatment of stress and depression (Williams & Penman, 2011).
One thing is abundantly clear: we need to focus more on the positives in our lives (things we are grateful for, things we enjoy or appreciate, moments of achievement, delight or comfort) and less on the negatives (fears, anxieties, past mistakes, concerns about the future). The good news is that , thanks to 'neuroplasticity' we can retrain our brains, and teach ourselves to look for and notice positives we might previously have missed, and to avoid dwelling unnecessarily on the negatives – we may even be able to look for and find the small, silver clouds when negatives do come along.
It is ideal to find a way to record those moments we wish to savour in life – and writing something about them can be a good way of doing this. Fredrickson (2009, p53) suggests an exercise involving the ten positive emotions or 'states' which, I think, sounds very worthwhile. She suggests making a portfolio for each of the 10 positive states – what would you put into your 'pride' folder, your 'joy' folder or your 'gratitude' folder? Once started, you can go back to these folders and relive some of the positive emotions you experienced – a real comfort when times are hard.
I designed the 'Wellbeing Diary' around the nef '5 ways to wellbeing' and the simple idea that it would be a good idea to look back on each week and think about those events, moments and activities that had helped me to 'connect, be active, take notice, keep learning, and give'. Each week, alongside the appointments page, is a page devoted to reflecting on the positives of the week. These can be small or big events – a chance meeting with a friend and a 2 minute chat; a special birthday celebration; getting a new job; soaking up the sunshine for 10 minutes at lunch-break. The purpose of the diary is to help us focus in on these positives, to notice them and just savour them a little.
I have been keeping a diary in this way for three years now, and I find I am much more aware of these small positive moments, and much more able to balance my negative thoughts, when they come along, with my positive emotions. I don't write about any of the negatives in my diary – only the positives make it in there (after all, I have no difficulty focusing on the negatives so I don't need to practise that). I don't write reams either – usually just a little reminder to myself – and I don't always write something each day. I certainly don't write in all 5 sections every single day! Each week I also write down my 3 best moments for that week on the reflective diary page (one of my favourite Sunday activities). I enjoy writing in my diary – it doesn't take long (I don't want it to be a chore!) and it works well for me.
If you want to try it, or want a friend to try it, you can buy the diary on Amazon.co.uk or direct from the publishers Lulu.com (just search for 'Wellbeing Diary 2015'). Profits this year go to www.actionforhappiness.org for their work promoting happiness in the UK.
WEBLINKS
New Economics Foundation (nef) '5 ways to wellbeing' http://www.neweconomics.org/projects/entry/five-ways-to-well-being
Action for Happiness www.actionforhappiness.org
Also available on Lulu is my ebook 'Savouring the moment' (with links to the 2015 wellbeing diary)
REFERENCES
Aked, J., Marks, N., Cordon, C., Thompson, S. (2008) Five Ways to Wellbeing. London: Centre for well-being, nef (the new economics foundation)
Burkeman, O. (2010) The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can't Stand Positive Thinking. Edinburgh: Canongate Books.
Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project (2008) Final Project Report: Executive Summary. London: Government Office for Science.
Fredrickson, Barbara (2009) Positivity. Oxford (2011): Oneworld Publications
Pennebaker, J. (1997) Opening Up. New York: Guildford Press.
Rath, T. & Harter, J.(2010) Wellbeing: The 5 essential elements. New York: Gallup Press.
Seligman, Martin E. P. (2003) Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.
Seligman, Martin E. P. (2011) Flourish, London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing
Wegner, D. (1989) White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts. NY Guilford Press
Williams, M., & Penman, D. (2011) Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world. London: Penguin. (book includes a CD)
Published by Action for Happiness on 3rd December 2014