Sex
Woody Allen - The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.
Billy Crystal - Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Rodney Dangerfield - Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
Pierre Desproges - La danse est l'expression verticale d'une frustration horizontale.
Jimi McFarland - One of the things women claim is most important in a man is a sense of humor. In my years as a comedian, I've learned that they're usually referring to the humor of guys like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Russell Crowe. Apparently, those guys are hilarious.
Mort Sahl - Men marry women hoping they'll never change. Women marry men hoping they will. Invariably they're both disappointed.