Signs of Abuse/Suicidal/Depression

(Sexual, physical, emotional, economic & verbal abuse)

Partner-Intimate (spouse, boy or girlfriend)

• Are you fearful of your partner?
• Does he/she make you feel that his anger or reaction is your fault?
• Does your partner say things that make you feel bad about yourself or your family?
• Does your partner make you feel embarrassed publicly?
• Does he/she make you think that something is wrong with you mentally or emotionally?
• Your partner usually blames you for his/her abusive behavior
• Your partner yells at you often
• Your partner is controlling (extremely emails, text, calls, visits & surprise-visits you
• Ignore you when you speak about your goals, desires, aspirations, accomplishments etc
• Consistently criticize you
• Partner follows or stalks you
• Tries to convince you to stop hanging out with friends or family members
• Tries to move you away from friends and family
• Treats your children wrong (yelling, hitting, avoid showing affection-interests etc
• Partner is excessively possessive or jealous?
• Partner has an uncontrollable temper or outburst?
• Threatens to kill you or commit suicide, especially if you speak about ending the relationship
• Is your partner forceful or coerce you into have sex?
• Does your partner always want to know where you go?
• Does your partner constantly accuse you of having an affair or cheating?
• Does your partner hit you (punch-slap-kick-burn-pull hair-bruise-break bones-grab-twist arms-bite-strangle-push)?
• Break things, kicks-destroy pets, throws things at you, lie about things, withhold money, making you beg,
• Tries to convince you to leave your job or makes you give him/her your money
• Partner makes others think you’re crazy or have a mental condition
• Partner uses religion to make you feel guilty-subservient or tries to justify his behavior
• Deprive you of personal needs

Emergency:For more info on Abuse click one of these links, PLEASE!

If you are being abused call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:

1-800-799-7233

If you are an abuser or think you are and want help call: http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/abusive_help.htm

Everyman Project - Tel. 020 7737 6747 Counselling, support and advice to men who are violent or concerned about their violence, and anyone affected by that violence.

www.loveisrespect.org Peer Advocates are available for assistance and support. What is live chat? If chat is unavailable, call 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY.

Hotline-The National Violence Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/teens-and-dating-abuse/ 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

ANONYMOUS & CONFIDENTIAL HELP 24/7

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Steps To Prevent Suicide of Friends and Family Members

Emergency contacts:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

The College of Mental Health Counseling at www.collegemhc.com urges the general public to learn and distribute these steps to prevent suicide of friends and family members.

Please print or distribute this release throughout the internet and send it to all your contacts and friends.

This procedure is from the reader-friendly book "Effective Counseling Skills" written by Daniel Keeran, MSW, for the general public found here http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeuticstatements/dp/1442177993

Just as CPR has been promoted to save lives, it is vital that the general public knows how to recognize suicide risk and prevent suicide.

Here are some steps:

• Notice if the person appears quiet and withdrawn, oversleeps, has crying episodes, has loss of appetite and energy, appears dishevelled, the gaze is downward, the voice tone is flat, consistently negative comments, irritability, or says things like, "Life's not worth living," or "I hate my life," etc.
• Ask: "How would you rate your mood right now on a scale of zero to ten with zero meaning life's not worth living and ten meaning life is great?"
• If the person rates the mood as 5 or under, ask: "Have you had any thoughts of suicide or of harming yourself?" *
• If the person indicate yes, go to the next step. If the person says, "I don't know," hear this as a "yes" to the question in #3.
• Ask: "Have you thought about how you might end your life?" If the person says yes, the risk is increased.
• Ask: "What have you thought about as how you might do it?" If the means is ineffective or non-lethal, such as cutting wrists, risk is lower. If the means is lethal such as using a gun or jumping from a bridge, etc., risk is higher.
• Regardless of the means, ask: "Can we agree together that if you have thoughts of killing yourself, you will speak to me personally (not my voice mail) before carrying out a plan to harm yourself?"
• If the person says "no" or "I don't know," to the question in #7, say: "What I am hearing is that you are in a lot of pain right now and thinking of ending your life, so I am wanting you to go to the emergency room right now and get some help to feel better right away. Will you go? I will make sure you get there safely. Is there a family member or someone I can call to go with you?" Or tell the person you will go with them yourself.
• Arrange for the person to be accompanied to the emergency room, and call ahead to tell emergency staff you are coming.
• If the person refuses, then ask the person to wait there with someone while you call police in another room to report that the person has threatened suicide with lethal means. Ask the police to come and accompany the person to the emergency room.

*Note: If the person rates the mood as 6 or over, after feeling consistently depressed, and s/he now reports life is great and s/he is smiling, the risk may be increased because s/he has decided to end their life and have made all arrangements.

More practical counseling skills are available through online courses at http://www.ctihalifax.com

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Feelings of low self-esteem and insecurity often leads one into a abusive relationship. Tip!-Predators can spot their victims or at least screen and assess them. They are usually feeling this way about themselves.

Signs of low-self-esteem, depression and/or insecurity within

• Always comparing self to other’s image, income, allowance, clothes, personality, popularity etc
• You think everyone else is more valuable than you are
• You constantly worry about whatever one else thinks of you
• You think everyone is staring or talking about you