Archive

23 Dec

Appears to be some confusion about how many days are left before we all front up at Corowa. An email from the Patron seems to indicate that it is 58 days when its clearly 60. Just goes to show where the problem lies. Given that it is now unlikely to be a round number of ponds, Crazy is intent on raising the interest by suggesting a number of ways to spice up the competitions. In keeping with his gambler's nature - one suggestion is a "calcutta" raffle based on the results of drawn pairs. Another is a nine hole "Turkey Shoot" where pairs play three holes of Ambrose, Foursomes and 4BBB (Stroke). So be warned - anything could be on.

In further news, Grumpy has taken on board the lessons learned from the past few years where he payed big $$ for very few rounds at his home club. He has recently joined the very picturesque Flinders Golf Club. Against the wishes of his staff (and other half) he has made it clear that he intends to play golf in the Thursday competition EVERY week to get maximum value out of his membership. This he did today. He turned up early to have a practice putt and remedy his performance of the weekend. Imagine his absolute pleasure standing on the 16th tee with 33 points already on his card and 3 holes ahead that suited his gentle draw. 38 points would normally be very very competitive among this geriatric group. (Ed: No doubt preparing his victory speech in front of some very well known and influencial fellow members.) Three holes later he reeled away from the 18th with another 1 point. Threw his clubs in the car and rushed back to the office. "A tiny bit sad really (Ed: really!!) .... and another afternoon wasted" were his comments.

He also pointed out that while Crazy has said that he is off to God's Own in February - his real intent for the trip is to go and play in the New Zealand Seniors event at New Plymouth Golf Club. It's clear that he doesn't realise that a handicap of 17 won't get him anywhere near a start and he now requires a complete turn around in his game to have any hope at all. So watch this space.

Army reports that Glaizem will start on his home track on 27 Dec and is in with a real chance of bringing home the major end of the prizemoney.

21 Dec

It's that time of year again and this should be the last posting before the big fella visits all those that have been good. A Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year to the few Frogs that bother to read this page - and their families of course.

The weather appears to still be playing havoc with the dedicated golfing Frogs activities. Grumpy and Crazy travelled one and a half hours south-east of Melbourne to enjoy the normally delightful Trafalgar, but struck heavy rain for 8 holes and steady wind all day. While putting was a difficult proposition for the Grumpy one, he still posted the best nett score of the day with a solid 3 under total of 67 (and a nearest the pin to boot). His crazy mate played well for 6.5 holes, then began to struggle before posting a nett 70. It should be added that off their ridiculous handicaps of 18 and 17 respectively, neither was overly happy with the results. That said, Grumpy is heading off to Tassie after Xmas to savour the warm feeling of a rare win. Given the weather that we have been having he'll need that to keep himself warm. I'm told it snowed there overnight.

Vincent battled his way around New Plymouth in 83 shots on Saturday. His handicap will soon be double figures at this rate. Army has evidently given the game away to focus on his burgeoning horse empire. His nag is scheduled to run again in the next week or two once the quality of the opposition is known. My tip is to stay away from it - hear on the grapeviine that a few of the owners want it (or the trainer) turned into petfood if it doesn't start paying the bills. (Ed Note: Only joking Army - I know you think it can win the "big one" and are hoping that a good showing will cover the ever expanding gap in the exchange rate.)

15 Dec

It seems that Clackers has indeed taken to honing his game, by having a regular 9 holes (at Bembridge). He reports that he shot a well executed 42 this morning. This score contained a rare 3 pars in a row. This followed a 45 a couple of days beforehand. Such is his increased confidence with his chances that he has started complaining bitterly that the other Vic's never offer to have a game with him, even though he is no longer an embarrassment. (Ed Note: over to you Grumpy and Crazy - time to "step up to the plate" and support the fellow Big V - although it could be said tnat on their current form they may be looking to avoid exposing themselves to being shown a thing or two by Clackers and being severely embarrassed themselves).

Looks like Sly and Doc are now confirmed non-starters next year. This may mean a few rooming and transport changes.

13 Dec

It appears that our regular golfers are getting worse with age. Vincent was again the "best of the worst' performed performed and played 36 holes without a birdie and 16 bogeys (no doubles or worse) last weekend. GR8-1 had 30 points after 14 and finished with only 34, which was a huge blow to his ego. His handicap has ballooned out to 11. Crazy was even worse - 23 after 9 on the easiest course in Melbourne (Ivanhoe) for a final tally of 35. Following a couple of disappointing months, his handicap has extended to a disgraceful 17. Grumpy had a 73 nett (played to a 21 handicap) at Flinders. He will also play of an embarrassing 17, next time he steps on the tee.

Army protected his back and went and watched his horse Glaizem have his first start in a new campaign. Started at reasonably long odds and finished 7th of 15 runners - beaten 3.6 len. No doubt Army will be keen on the horses' chance next start.

Hear on the grapevine that there are now potentially two non-starters for 2011. Not exactly sure if the organizers are going to seek replacements. History has shown that the long term result of replacements has always been a bigger group the following year. You will be kept informed as developments occur.

3/12/10.... Bottlemart plays 6th matchplay final

The closing day for 2010 of the Lands Office Social Club was played on the very wet Nudgee North Course today. The day is notable for a couple of reasons - not least the final of the matchplay. In a show of great consistency Bottlemart teed it up for the 6th time in the final. His opponent this year was Fillet. He was trying to overcome the disappointment of 5 previous losses. Fillet started like a train and was flat with the card through 9 holes. To his credit, Bottlo was not intimidated and was 2 down at the turn. In typical Bottlo spirit, he made a big charge to get to 2 up after 14. He then had a 4 footer to close the match on 17. At the worst possible time his putting yips reappeared and it lipped out. The match was all square after 18 holes and went down the 19th to determine the winner. Unfortunately Bottlo's normally safe driver let him down and he carved his tee shot into the dam. Runner up for the 6th time. It was still a great effort, as Fillet went on to win the day with 41 pts.

Other Frog results were Dinky on 34 pts coming third, Moody and Greatwhite both came in with 33 and Flasher did not figure in the rundown that went down to 29.

As reported earlier, the NZ Xmas hamper season is in full swing. Vincent teed it up in the Fitzroy event last weekend. He shot a 4 over 72 which didn't win him anything as he finished tied for 11th in the gross, 26th nett and 27th stableford. (Ed Note: It is extremely hard to win one of these things as the bandits come out of the woodwork to win the good prizes on offer). In better news for the Deuart family, son Rowan shot a 1 under par 67 (off a handicap of 3) to be runner up. (Ed Note: we obviously don't want him on the trip). The prediction that a raffle was the only chance he had of getting a decent prize proved accurate as Vincent picked up two half hams being second prize in the raffle.

Appears that Plugger have disappointed some of his mates with his choice of car hire. It now looks like there will be a bus hired and a late change in personnel- more news as it comes to hand.

30 Nov

The Tassie "tourists" have completed their trip and are delighted to have experienced the wonder of both Barnbougle and The Lost Farm golf courses over the past two days. The courses presented their individual challenges with Barnbougle clearly the winner over the golfing prowess of the Frogs . Grumpy defied his recent poor form and had a respectable 30 points, Dazzler got it around in 29 and GR8-1, clearly out of his depth, trailled the group with a miserable 24. After overnighting on the course(s), they tested their obviously limited ability on the Lost Farm today. The course has a spare two par-3's and they took the opportunity to play the 20 holes on offer. The weather was superb with clear skies and no wind. This clearly helped the scoring. GR8-1 had a very healthy 40 points for the 20 holes, Dazzler maintained his steady scoring with 38 points with Grumpy bought up the rear, but was certainly not disgraced in scoring a very creditable 37 points. On combined scores Dazzler and Grumpy were tied on 67 points with the GR8-1 trailling on 64. (Ed Note: Word is that the Dazzler's golf was that good he didn't lose a ball. I hear that the only ball he did "lose" was later found in the deserted car park. I bet (and I often do) the other two can't make that claim.) No mention of how many balls were never to be seen again either.

The other aspects of the recent tassie trip including views and a spot of trout fishing on Arthurs Lake. While expected to be a highlight of the trip it was a very interesting adventure with Grumpy the only one to catch anything of legal "and" edible size. Dazzler did catch a tiddler that he had to throw back and in a fore runner to his golf at Barnbougle Greatwhite could only catch the the propellor.

With the Xmas hamper season getting into full swing in New Zealand, the Kiwis connection are determined to put some meat on the table this festive season. Army found the health to get back on the course on Saturday to hone his game for a killing of his luxurious 11 handicap. Shot a respectable 84 after having several weeks on his back. Vincent played both days and shot 79 and 81 and has a bit of work to do to be competitive. That or winning a raffle seems to be his only chance of getting anything substantial.

Clackers has taken on board the advice offered on 24/11 and has started playing 9 holes at Bembridge - a privately owned course that "suits" his long game. Regularly shooting in the mid 40's so he should be in line to break 60 on an average track. (Ed Note: I'm taking "offers" (that means bribes) to arrange to have him picked for a nominated pond - that could be yours or someone elses :-) ).

25/11

The Social Secretary has been doing his reseach. It appears that there is a social membership available at Corowa for $15. If you join on line before 15 Jan you may be eligible to win the Members Jackpot that is drawn on Thursday - the day we are due to play at Albury. The membership does provide a discount on drinks and meals. Check out the club website (see above) if you are interested.

24/11 Any one out there know how to attach a countdown clock to the webpage??

Hope everyone has read the email from the Greatone about the changes to travel arrangements and confirming attendance. We have a couple of candidates waiting in the wings should anyone wish to scratch.

Seems that there is not a lot happening on the golf front in Frogland. Vincent seems to be the only regular player and I can report that he picked up a two's jackpot recently (for all us Aussies - that is two 2's in the same round). Normally worth a couple of dozen balls. With a handicap of 7.2 he is now clearly the "low" Frog. Army continues to struggle with a bad back and is taking a rest to get it right for the trip.

Bottlo has another week or so before he can reverse or confirm his "runner-up" tag in the Lands Matchplay championship. He will also get an opportunity to see the G8-1 basically doing a "Happy Gilmour" in an attempt to get the ball out past 150 metres. Dazzler and the GR8-1 will be joining Grumpy at his Flinstone retreat this weekend. In between the ever present precipitation that is Tassie, the plan is to enjoy some fishing, views and savour the delights of Barnbougle Dunes or possibly The Lost Farm. It will be interesting to see the total of balls lost if they do in fact get to one of the the premier courses in the world. (Ed Note: Upon reflection, I have some recollection that it actually snowed last time they were there).

Crazy (taking advantage of Lorraine's win earlier in the year) went to play Cobram last weekend. Just goes to show that he learnt nothing from watching Stuart Appleby. He continues to rack up 8's and 9's - even with a new set of clubs. He did get the chance to speak to the Miner during the week and learnt that Viv Bricker (wife of Leggo) has not been well. We pass on our best wishes and hope that her trip to hospital has fixed the problem and she is back to full health quickly. The Miner also said that his golf was in fine fettle and he was looking forward to an impressive showing next year- so all you contenders ............ get working on your game.

Speaking of contenders, if there are people that read this page and have any news at all - send it through to frogsonriver@gmail.com . We are always looking for snippets of information and get sick of hearing about the same people or making things up. (Ed Note ..Should I say that??). It doesn't have to be golf specific but should be of interest to other Frogs.

13/11

In further evidence of the saying "It's not what you know, but who you know", Crazy had the rare opportunity to have a close up view of the form of Stuart Appleby and Michael Choi at the Masters today. He had the privledge of walking inside the ropes as a VIP. "It certainly gives a different view of how good some of the golf seen on TV actually is. Until a shocker of a shot on the 17th Appleby was brilliant." were his comments.

12/11 Lands Social Club The Lands Social Club played at Pacific Golf Club (south of Brisbane) yesterday. The competition was a two-ball Ambrose that only attracted 5 of the Frogs. The scoring was too hot for those that did venture out or may have been due to the time it took to get around. Bottlo and partner off a handicap of 6.25 had the third best score of the day with a nett 62.75, only 0.75 behind winner. As if his trip hadn't provided enough golf - the Greatone fronted up next day to pair up with the bloke who was never going to play with him again (or again ............ or again) in Moody for a nett 67.75 off 7.25. They finished in the middle of the field. As mentioned, there were five Frogs that played - the remaining two (Chopper and Flasher) sadly bought up the tail of the field with an embarrassing nett 77.5 of their generous 15.5 handicap. In the old parlance ....................................... Last by a mile!!! Dinky was supposed to play with Bottlo but decided that he had enough of his up & down scores and preferred to stab pigs out the back of beyond (St George for those geographically aware). For the Kiwis ... that is way beyond the Black Stump. The final Day for the year is in 3 weeks time and will be sponsored by the ever generous Bruno.

In other news, I hear on the grapevine that Crazy has reneged on his statement that he ".. wouldn't cross the road to see Tiger.." by accepting an offer to go to the Champions Club Marque at Victoria Golf Club tomorrow. Not quite as big an honour as tossing the coin on the "Gabba but up there. Good to have friends in high places I say :-).

From Arizona

Received this email from the GR8-1 today

Well, after travelling all that way and vowing never to do it again we are having a great time.

Arrived at Phoenix and had to catch a taxi to the motel as I had forgotten to get global roaming on my phone and couldn't contact Sean to pick me up. Anyway all worked out and we decided to play The Phoenician that afternoon. We got in 13 holes before dark and the coyotes got us. The course was better than I remembered and Sean took a 2 shot lead.

Tuesday at Kierland Golf Club were we played 36 holes on a great track. Very, very enjoyable. An excellent facility. We both had good front 9's but poor back 9's

Wednesday at Sanctuary Golf Club and although a very basic clubhouse, etc still a very good tight course. Went to the basketball to see the Suns play the Spurs and had a great night.

Today ( Thursday ) was Troon North. This is the best golf course I have ever played. We played Monument in the morning and lost 12 balls between us and loved it. Paired up with a couple of very nice yanks. They enjoyed it so much that they decided to play with us on Pinnacle in the afternoon. We got in 16 holes and it was fantastic.

Tomorrow Ocotillo Gold Course and at least 27 holes. Maybe more basketball and then Talking Stick on Saturday.

Driving to LA after golf Saturday with an overnight somewhere.

He will post full details of his Arizona experience on his return.

2 November Nelson to go (111 for the uninitiated)

GR8-1 has just jetted off to the U S of A to catch up with the young great white. Plans are to to see a few games of basketball (the Suns being the team of choice) and provide opportunity to demonstrate that his golf game has really gone to pieces. I'm tipping that Sean will reassert his dominance over the "old man".

Speaking of tips I hope that the punters among you get a positive result from todays race. While the obvious tip deservedly appears to be "the pride of Bart" in So You Think, I can't split Americain or Harris Tweed for my $5 each way and may have to back both. If either runs a place I'll be hopeful of getting my money back. Army tipped the winner of the Derby and hasn't reported in on how much that kicked his bank balance into the positive.

Not much been reported on the golf front. The Vic's have been affected by the big wet and the Kiwi's don't seem to be too bothered. Army hasn't annoyed the scorer for over a month and may be carrying a back problem. Too much time at the track and on the couch or something like that. Crazy has booked a trip back to the mother country just prior to the Frogs and may be tempted to stay with his real friends.

Turns out that my Alzhiemers has kicked in early - Clackers had the big 64 last week. My how time flies.

25 October (118 days to go)

Under 4 months to the big event. Time is certainly flying by. I'm told that the G8-1 will be soon confirming with everyone that they are still definites. As discussed at Bellarine earlier in the year, Harby is considering replacing the polo shirt with a rain jacket.

On the golf front the latest instalment from the Lands Social Club has seen Moody blow the opposition away with an unbelieveable 47 points, which included the obligatory wipe on the last to impress the handicapper. Not sure who he played with, but I guess it won't be anyone who falls into the .... "I NEVER PLAY WITH .....AGAIN" category. In fact, I would be questioning their knowledge of golf after that score. Bottlo had a solid 39 points which also extended his run in the matchplay. He now has a real chance of taking home the big prize in the Final, which will be played in next month's event. No mention of his opponent, but it will certainly not be a FROG as their form has been very patchy. Dinky continued his up and down scoring with 39 points. The rest of the FROGs found something better to do - probably didn't want to be there to hear Moody or Bottlo gloat. I'm predicting there will be even fewer on hand next game......!!!

Last week Crazy went down to The Sands at Torquay to play in the 54 hole Victorian Senior Amatuer Championship. Scores of 99 and 93 were followed with an NCR. Hear on the grapevine that he has tried to blame his poor showing on a sore knee and finger. Poor golf more likely, although he is now being treated for that drinking disease - GOUT. The Grump and Clackers are having a spell to let their game/s come together. Clackers will be clicking the clock over again this Wednesday, I think it's 63 and counting.

Army appears to have been concentrating on losing $$ on the horses rather than playing golf. Vincent shot a disappointing 85 on Saturday with a couple of "big" holes. Ed Note: Unfortunately, unlike Australia, the Kiwi's scores - even down to individual holes - are available on the NZ Handicap site, so they will always get a run in this format - provided I bother to look.

OCTOBER 9 BURGER BIG BASH

Baby Burger Brooke was married to Paul with the reception at The Alan Border Field. A pleasant night was enjoyed by all and lovely Brooke was radiant. Burger's speech was a highlight and Julianne kept everyone on their toes with her good humoured comments.

The Frogs were represented by not only Burger, but Wally, Moody, Toota and Greatwhite and their lovely wives.

OCTOBER 2...(141). GREATWHITE JUST MISSES CENTURY

Playing his first competition at his new club Pelican Waters, a monthly medal, GR8-1 was out to impress and show that all those years at Coolum had improved his golf. Early evidence from his round certainly pointed to that. A solid par, bogey, par start saw him off to a flying start. He arrived at the last only needing to score 7 to "crack the ton". He is not likely to get a start in any 20/20 team in the near future, as he let the team down badly only scoring a bogey 5 and signed for a "Sachin". In a show of solidarity, one of his playing partners was heard to mutter "....how could this bloke possibly be on a 10 handicap at the Hyatt". However, GR8-1 was quite happy with his score as he feels that it now paints a truer reflection the quality of his game and is closer to the standard required by The Frogs. His omnipresent "mates" are now both closer to their goal of the perfect handicap and will strut their stuff this weekend off 16.

Have a close look at this photo - it suggests that he is looking for somewhere to "throw the rope".

SEPT 30..... LANDS SOCIAL CLUB

Played at Redcliffe in very windy conditions in a multiplier stableford competition, Dinky and partner with 83 pts were victorious. Moody and Chopper partnered each other for a world record low of 29 pts. Moody certainly went to the laundry and contributed 8 washes.

The individual scores for Frogs were Dinky 33, Freddy 30, Chopper 29, Bottlo 27, Moody 20 and Flasher 19.

Greatwhite opted to babysit 2 of his grandsons and lucky for him he did as the conditions sounded pretty tough.

Moody is quickly running out of partners after deciding that he doesn't want to play with Chopper any more either.

Bruno has continued his good form with a net 72 last Saturday at Pelican Waters.

RUMOUR FILE

Following on from the Posting of 16 Sept, I have heard a rumour emanating from the around the Sunshine Coast that Greatwhite has taken it upon himself to look after Bruno with the rules and joined Pelican Waters Golf Club'. I also hear that he is anticipating playing a lot more golf and is expecting to again be the "low handicapper" Frog.

Also got a message from Army hoping that everyone had gotten on board his horse Topario. She won at her home course of New Plymouth, on Saturday. Paid a juicy $10 something for the win. This goose didn't.

REPORT FROM THE PRESIDENT

Burger has reported that the week away with Wally and others, playing Sunshine Coast courses hasn't seen any improvement in their games. Burger did give his injured elbow a good test and feels that he will be in some form for FROGS11. Wally apparently hit his new club well, it was a pity about the other clubs in his bag. Burger will now be concentrating on the up and coming wedding of daughter Brooke.

SMALL WORLD after all..........!!!

Dazzler, who has spent the last 10 weeks enjoying the pleasures of France and visiting Turkey was recently making his way home. Imagine his surprise when enjoying a relaxing stopover in Singapore only to have it interrupted when he came across Plugger. Plugger was on his way for a 5 week holiday in Europe. Dazzler reports that while he was somehat surprised to see Plugger so far from home, it came as no surprise that he had his hands full of food (no ice cream though)

22 Sept.... WHAT HAPPENS ON THE TRIP STAYS ON THE TRIP.

Mayor and Rodent are back from their trip to Corowa and are keeping pretty quiet about the week. Mayor was heard to mention that it was "a good time with some reasonable golf played". By their standards this could mean anything. Their after golf is something of a blurr but nodoubt included a few hours on the 'pokies". They did get home safely and have given a thumbs up for Corowa.

21 Sept (153 to go)

On behalf of all the Frogs, We'd like to pass on our congratulations to Grumpy and Elizabeth, who today became grandparents for the first time. Their eldest daughter (Nicole) gave birth to a beautiful daughter this morning (Maya Olivia Kuc). For those of us who have experienced this magic moment, we'll pass on the good news that she will now become the centre of Grumpy's attention.

20 Sept

No joy on the football front over the weekend. Young GWC played a great game, being the leading goalkicker and one of the best players for Eastlake as they went down by 25 points to Ainslie in the Canberra Grand Final. Must have been the presence of GWC that bought the "bad luck". On top of Collingwood winnning it was almost too much to bear for real football followers. There is still a faint hope that the Sainters can do it for their supporters and the "Doc.

On the golf front there is not a lot of news to report from the regular contributors, it seems most watched the events described above unfold. The Kiwis are struggling with some of the bad weather that crossed over Victoria. This forced Vincent to travel to Hamilton for a game where he shot a reasonable 80. This included a long string of bogey's on the back 9 after a par front side. Army is starting a new job and travelled to Dunedin for some indoctrination. Hopefully. he is back in the swing of things soon or else his steadily increasing handicap will soon be a lot worse that 9.2.

Speaking of quickly increasing handicaps. Several may be surprised to hear that that some of the "so called" better credentialed Frogs are heading South at a great rate of knots. GWC is battling of 10.3, Grumpy is considering retiring his driver and has hooked his way to 14.4 and in a real show of the "Baker-Finch" syndrome, Crazy has raced out to 15.5. Looking at his GolfLink record it's easy to see why - 2 rounds under 90 in his last 10. (Ed Note: I hear he is trying to get to the perfect handicap ie 18, but looks like that may be a passing target as he continues his plunge towards hacker status.)

Let us know if there are any other horror stories.

16 Sept Blue and(not) Black

Have you heard the one about a popular Frog who recently played one of those rare "rounds of your life" . He shot a very competitive nett score of 67 off the BLACK tees in his club's Monthly Medal. This was easily good enough to win the Medal. Feeling very pleased with himself, imagine his absolute disbelief when there was no mention of his score in the winners. It turns out he should have played off the BLUE tees and was subsequently disqualified. I hear that it was enough to ruffle his dapper feathers. Better luck next month Bruno.

13 Sept BOTTLO CONTINUES CHARGE

Bottlemart has continued his fine form with a resounding 4 & 3 win in the quarter finals of the Lands Social Club matchplay championship. He does however have a history in the event - 4 runner up finishes in previous years reads like a history of Collingwood in Grand Finals during the 60-80's. No doubt this will be in the back of his mind as he progresses. Might be less stressful to lose early and not have to carry all that weight (of expectation) on those skinny legs.

Moody, Greatwhite, Freddy and Harby all played in the 4BBB stroke event (run in conjunction) for the losers. While, they still weren't winners, Moody and Harby showed signs that some good form might be just around the corner. (Ed Note Then again ..... this could be as good as it gets!!!.) Harby had the misfortune to be paired with Greatwhite and was on the card 12 times in a score of 61. This was only 4 behind the winners. If GWS had made a reasonable contribution with his "superior" game the result would have been much better. GWS claims that he played much better than that and wasn't able to get on the card because Harby got in the hole first - an identical argument was used by another Frog in times past. Moody, Bottlo and their respective partners came in with 59's.

Also heard that Freddy had a game with Plugger (and a relative) during the week at Pelican Waters. Freddy said the golf was very ordinary. He had the honour 5 holes in a row which included winning one hole with a 9.

Crazy would have been right at home in that group after shooting 90, 89 and 97 at Coomealla last week. He played with the first round leader on day two and certainly affected his game. After shooting a par round 72 on day one and leading by 4 shots, the leader signed for a very disappointing 87. That effectively killed of any chance he had of winning the popular event. (He followed this up with a 77 on day 3, which really shows where the problem lay). This bloke was a teammate of Crazy's from his days at North Melbourne and had asked to be paired with the unhinged one. Another friendship destroyed. I heard that after a continued spell of "not being able to get the ball in the f*cking hole", Crazy opened his wallet and went out and bought a new putter. (Ed Note - that won't help his game. He bought it at said mates shop. I hope he paid over the odds, although taking a lead from the latest cricket scandals - he might have gotten a sling from the other contenders in the event to nobble the leader on his home track).

And it looks like Army, Grumpy and Vincent aren't giving the handicapper any nightmares either. Unless running out of battery life adding up their scores counts.

Still waiting to hear how Mayor and Rodent went on their trip to check out next years venue - strong suspicion that it wasn't too good or the news would have been forthcoming sooner.

The GWS is off to Canberra this weekend with Shaz to see if young GWS can win a premiership with Eastlake. Let's wish Sean a good game and this helps them get across the line.

In other football news, further disappointment for the Long family after Sangate (coached by Ben, the S-O-B) got beaten by Noosa last Sunday. The margin was a mere 7 points. The match was played at Hickey Park (the spiritual home of the Frogs).

GETTING SERIOUS

Looks like a few of the Frog's are finally getting serious about their golf. Not only have Rodent and The Mayor gone off for a week of golf on the River, but we have Crazy going to Mildura for 54 holes over 3 days. He will be testing his skills (or lack thereof) against some of Victoria's best senior golfers. Early reports are that he hasn't given the Frogs a good name.

Burger and Wally are heading up to the Sunshine Coast to test their golfing skills next week. This should see some improvement in their games. At least it should be for Burger who hasn't played much serious golf since his collapse at Torquay. Wally, who just turned 70(ish) received a new fairway wood as a present and is a bit worried that his game may suffer as a result. He had had his previous 3 wood for 10 years and was just getting used to it.....!! Not much to worry about there. More to follow as scores come in.

3 Sept ..... Only 171 days now - for the uninformed that is just over 24 weeks!!!

Congratulations to Bottlo who won the Frogs tipping contest with a grand score of 120.

27 August... MOODY BLAMES BACKHOE

Gold Coast show day holiday and rather than pass up on opportunity to have a game of golf Backhoe invited Moody (who in turn invited Greatwhite) to a game at Coolangatta-Tweed Heads West Course. A beautiful day only spoiled by the recent sanding of the greens. Moody was either trying to repair the fallout from the Lands Social Club day or he REALLY does enjoy playing with the GWS.

Backhoe (now off 25) was a bit over the place and played to his handicap. The new A-Mart driver seemed to be working well enough to convince his work mate Steve, who played with them, to go straight out and buy one. Moody's recent good form was nowhere to be seen and he was extremely lucky to shoot 107. Greatwhite got up and down out of the ball washer enough times to limit the damage to 81 including a double and a triple.

Backhoe commented that he had heard reports that Moody had improved. (Ed's Note: probably from Moody). Suggestion was made that "...luckily for them he has improved" as the old Moody would have cracked it and shot closer to 130. However, Moody was quick to blame Backhoe for the turn around in his game. He was heard to complain that if "...I hadn't been invited, my good form would have continued".

RODENT AND MAYOR ON SECRET ADVENTURE

Hear on the grapevine that Rodent and Mayor will be going to Corowa/Yarrawonga in the next week or two for a few rounds of golf. The Mayor is obviously hoping for an early advantage for 2011, but really he is just kidding himself. There is a move afoot to start him on 36 next year, but the wags think that even that wouldn't be enough. Rodent is going to check out if the accomodation is tidy.

24 August - only 180 days to go

Looks like the blow to his ego had the anticipated effect on the GWS as he "stumbled" around Coolum for 32 points yesterday.

As promised Bruno has passed on his scores from the Pro-Am at Yeppoon. After a disasterous opening round of 24 points he came home strongly with scores of 37, 32 and 38 to finish with a grand total of 131. Not good enough to trouble the winner but still good enough to finish well into the top 20 amateurs. Overall, it was a strong performance on a difficult course that has been nominated as a future Frogs venue.

Army shot 78 and got beaten in the club matchplay championship 2/1 by an opponent that shot 80 .... go figure.

20 Aug 2010

GREATWHITE GETS HIS REVENGE

Back in the early days, Greatwhite and Moody were once paired in 4bbb at Cobram-Barooga Old Course. On that memorable day (only in the mind of the GWS), Moody had a world record low of 8 points and nearly dragged the Greatwhite down to his level.

Today the Lands Social Club played at the Gold Coast Country Club in wet and trying conditions. Greatwhite, after a 3 point start, was able to get his own back on Moody for all those years ago. Moody (34 points) and Greatwhite both played to a handicap of 26 and could only muster a combined 4BBB score of 40. This was good enough to come sixth in a field of 6 teams. Moody who has shown some considerable improvement in the past couple of months with all the golf he is playing, drove the ball very well and therefore rightly blamed GWS for their poor showing. Already feeling a bit shattered by his miserable performance, Greatwhite's fragile ego took a considerable hit however, when at the end of the round, Moody muttered that he didn't want to play with him again .......................... ever!!!!! How the worm turns. Ed Note: It will be interesting to see how this 'rejection' affects his form at Coolum on Monday.

footnote... Bottlo was missing because he decided that his granddaughter was more important than golf and took her to the movies for her birthday. In my humble(???) opinion, he certainly has his priorities right.

To his credit, Grumpy took his medicine and fronted up at Victoria following his disappointment at Kingston Heath. He shot a promising 89 in very trying conditions. Doesn't sound that good at first glance, but when compared to the best that the guns could shoot (78), he has regained some of his lost mana.

The Lands match play continues today at the Gold Coast International at Helensvale. It will be interesting to see if the normal combatants shine.

18 Aug 2010

Yesterday, the Victorian Seniors Tour was at Kingston Heath. The No 1 course in Australia was always going to provide too much of a challenge for Crazy and Grumpy. The latter went in with renewed confidence after an excellent round of 85 (nett 70) at Royal Melbourne last Friday. How quickly things change - he left a shattered and disillusioned man. Despite parring his first and last holes, the Grumpy one signed for a disappointing 92. I heard that he spent an extended period in at least one bunker.

As per the norm, Crazy could not get the ball anywhere near the fairway off the tee and shot a struggling 89 (nett 75). He has tried to claim 4 days on the Gold Coast was the reason he was all over the course. Will someone please set him straight ( Ed Note: if only it was that simple!!! Don't you meant tell him the real reason he can't hit a fairway).

GWS came back to earth and shot an 85 of the "beater" at Coolum. It was suggested that he was merely using the round as a warm-up for the real event at the Gold Coast International course on Friday.

Both the Kiwi's shot close to 90 on the weekend, but I am told that the weather has been extremely wet and cold and getting a solid round in has been problematic for the past couple of weeks. Then again, that could be just an excuse for crap golf.

10 Aug 2010

GWS was at it again yesterday. Another 39 points at the Coolum Hyatt - obviously didn't take too kindly to the suggestion that a handicap of 12 was his rightful one.

Grumpy on the other hand had a nett 82 at his new club (Flinders). After contemplating a round where he would "wind" back his urge to hit driver on the first, he promptly took out the "big dog" and smacked it into the ti-tree pin high only to lose the ball. A strong "double" set the tone for the rest of the round. It's small wonder he is now seriously considering replacing golf with fishing. That decision may be set in stone after he plays Royal Melbourne, Victoria and Kingston Heath in the next week as part of the Victorian Seniors tour.

Just on one month after hanging his clubs up, Clackers has weakened and played 27 holes last week. Tells me he enjoyed it and is now looking for a regular game ..... any takers??

Crazy went all the way to Mildura to have a game at Coomealla. A six hour drive ..... (certainly lived up to his name). Shot a very disappointing 29 points and then drove back again. All this to see if he wanted to go to "Coomy" in three weeks for a 54 hole over 55's tournament. I ask you ....... !!! there has to be better ways to spend your holidays. I'm told that Lorraine again beat him with 31. Maybe she should be in the Frogs instead. He is playing Kingston Heath with the Grumpy1as well. After looking at their scores from the past months I'm surprised they are even bothering.

The Kiwi's also seem to be struggling of late. Vincent had an 88 with only 4 pars and Army didn't even bother to play last weekend after a very disappointing 87 (with 5 doubles and 6 bogeys) the week before. (It is NZ after all ...............it was probably raining like cats and dogs and Vincent is a golfing tragic).

5/8/2010 MASSACRE AT NUDGEE

The Lands match play championship round of 16 was played at Nudgee South today. Since the first round was decided, Bottlemart has been doing a "Muhammad Ali" and forecasting the thrashing he would give Dinky True to his word, Bottlo fired a 2 over par front nine before beating a very soft Dinky 8 & 6. In a strange twist of fate, the hapless Dinky went on to have a respectable 38 stableford points to Bottlo's 40. (Sounds like he got most of his points after the 12th). Greatwhite continued his recent good form with 42 pts to finish third, 2 off the winner. Moody raced out of the stalls with a 23 pt front side but faded in the straight finishing with 37. Editors Note: Reading back over the past few weeks reports - methinks that you blokes are playing too much golf .... doesn't anyone work in the Sunny State? I figure that there might be one advantage for the poor old Southerners and Kiwis ... your handicaps will be surely looked at :-).

4/8/2010......... The countdown is on ......... only 200 DAYS TO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frogs at Woodford

Some Frogs ventured to the Woodford Golf Club on Friday 30 July to play in the Lands Office Bus trip/Golf day.

The course was in excellent condition and a winning score of 44pts was tough to beat. Moody 40 was runner up while Bottlemart 40 continues his good form. Freddy showed some form with 38 and Greatwhite 37. Looks like an easy course until you see Plugger 23 and Dinky who was extremely lucky to have that many.

A draw for secret partners was the highlight of the day with Greatwhite drawing a partner with 37 for a total of 74. That looked the goods until Moody drew the days individual winner for a runaway victory with 84. There were many fine prizes and a great day was had by all.

This Thursday (5th Aug) the Lands Office Social Club ventures to Nudgee South where Bottlemart and Dinky will meet in the second round of the match-play championship. It will be very interesting.

2 Aug .... Bad news for those hoping never to see Vincent again. Heard from Army that it appears highly likely that he will not be having a hip replacement until after the Corowa experience.

Following on from the interest shown by some of the younger ex-Gorillas on the 'Grange golf day ....... well!!! ....... it seems that after having a good look at the website and seeing who actually came on the trip, they have decided to pass on the opportunity to make the group even bigger. Good news!! I hear the organisers mutter.

Still waiting for a report on the latest Lands Office Golf day. Understand that Moody had another of his "rare" better days. Must be playing a bit of golf.

GWS is back after stableford scores of 39, 40 and 39 on the last three Mondays at Hyatt. His handicap has been slashed to 10. (Never let it be said that he enjoys being in double figures).

23 July... WILSTON GRANGE GOLF DAY OR Don't let anyone tell you that the Mayor can play.

The annual Gorilla Golf Day was held at Keperra in a 4 man Ambrose event. The Frogs were well represented (OK!! maybe not well) by 10 members.

Rodent, Mayor, Greatwhite and young Greatwhite teamed up. Having to use at least 3 tee shots, including one on a par three, was always going to cause some problems. Starting at the 3rd, the team tactically had Rodent tee off first. This saw him knock his tee shot onto the railway track. The Mayor was still laughing as he stood up and knocked his over the railway line and into the houses, (he showed this was not a fluke by repeating the shot on the next hole). Luckily, for this group the young GWS with was them and they birdied the first. For the next 15 holes the Mayor never looked like landing one on the fairway. In desperation, they took his tee shot on the third last from 2 fairways across but did convert it into a birdie. The Mayor finally got a drive near a fairway after 18 attempts. It finished in the green side bunker 305 metres away (actually the 2nd). From here, GWS holed a sensational bunker shot for an eagle. A big finish of birdie, birdie, eagle saw them come in second with a score of 8 under off the stick.

Unfortunately, the other Frogs (Harby, Bottlemart, Plugger, Freddy, Chopper, Dagwood and Gunsynd) showed very little ticker, but that did not spoil a wonderful day and night.

Albert, who is recovering from a broken foot, was on the sausage sizzle.

At the after golf recovery session, a LOT of interest was fielded from several younger ex Gorillas about how they could join "The Frogs". Watch this space for further news.

23July

Hear on the grapevine that the weight of trying to fit in with his new found Aussie friends may have had a serious impact on Vincent. After struggling around the course for a few months with a "groin problem" he sought some medical advice. Appears the silly kiwi can't differentiate between his groin and his hip. He may be facing a hip replacement. He must be really desperate as he has been in touch with Crazy for advice. That is a real cause for concern.

15 July

FROGGO V FROGGO