Lesson 35: Temples of Clay

Guide Questions

  • Is man created to love?
  • What is the virtue of temperance?
  • Has original sin affected our appetite for pleasure?
  • What is chastity, purity, modesty, virginity, celibacy?
  • How are these virtues related to love?
  • If someone says we should be natural and follow our natural tendencies in the area of sexuality, how would you answer them?
  • Is sexuality personal or social?
  • What is the purpose of human sexuality?
  • What is sex education?
  • Do children have right to sex education? If so, who should give it and where?
  • Do married couples have to be pure and chaste? If so why?
  • Why has the Church always said that large families are a blessing?
  • Do couples have the right to have a child?
  • Is celibacy unnatural?
  • Should Catholic couples have as many children as is physically possible?
  • What is lust and what are its consequences?
  • Are sins in this area usually mortal or venial?
  • Is pornography wrong, if so why?
  • What is the Church's teaching on masturbation, fornication, pre-marital sex, contraception, natural family planning, adultery, divorce, polygamy, homosexuality?
  • Is it right to use condoms to prevent AIDS?
  • Is the tendency to homosexuality a sin in itself?
  • Do gays have rights?
  • Is gay marriage permissible? If so why, if not why not?
  • Should we discriminate against gays?
  • What are the means to practice purity and chastity?
  • Is chastity dangerous to your health?

1. Male and Female He Created Them

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

The Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCCC no 487; cf CCC 2331-2336, 2392-2393) echoes this teaching of the book of Genesis and tells us:

God has created human beings as male and female, equal in personal dignity, and has called them to a vocation of love and of communion. Everyone should accept his or her identity as male or female, recognizing its importance for the whole of the person, its specificity and complementarity.

We have seen in Lesson 6 that God made man in his image and likeness. We have seen also that we are like God in the following ways:

    1. The SPIRITUAL SOUL is an image of God who is Pure Spirit.
    2. The INTELLECT or REASON (power to know and understand) and the WILL (power to want, to make choices, to love) reflect God's wisdom and power. Because we have reason and will, we have FREEDOM.
    3. God also gave us MASTERY and LORDSHIP over the whole material world, a sharing in His Lordship over all creation.
    4. God gave us the power to continue creation, to PROCREATE, through the differentiation in sexes--male and female. We thus share in His creative power. In this way, not only the soul, but also the BODY is an image of God. Moreover, once a person is baptised, his body becomes part of the body of Christ, and temple of the Holy Spirit. In his First Letter to the Corinthians (6:15-17, 19-20), Saint Paul asks:
      1. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are MEMBERS OF CHRIST? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two shall become one." 17 But he who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
      2. 19 Do you not know that your body is a TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT within you, which you have from God? YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN; 20 you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Points 2333 to 2334 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) gives us additional insights. They can be summarised as follows:

    • The difference between man and woman does not imply any inequality. Man and woman have an EQUAL PERSONAL DIGNITY. They are both made in God's image and likeness, though they reflect God in different ways.
    • The physical, moral, and spiritual differences between men and women are intended to help COMPLEMENT and HELP one another to achieve the goals of marriage and family life.

2. The Virtue of Chastity

2.1 Integration and Integrity

When the CCC and the CCCC speak about chastity, they use the words "integration" and "integrity" -- "successful integration of sexuality within the person," integration of sexuality "into the relationship of one person to another," "integrity of the person," "integrality of the gift," (CCC 2337) "integrity of the powers of life and love" (CCC 2338), "positive integration of sexuality within the person," correctly integrating sexuality "into the relationship of one person to another" (CCCC 488). Just what does the Church mean when She says this?

INTEGRITY refers to the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

To INTEGRATE means to bring together, unite, combine, or incorporate (parts) into a whole.

Chastity is what makes it possible for a person to give not only part of himself or herself, but his or her WHOLE self to another person, whether that person be a human being, or God himself. This is why the CCC 2337 says:

Castitatis igitur virtus integritatem implicat personae et totalitatem doni. -- The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity or wholeness of the person and the totality of the gift. [my translation]

The virtue of chastity makes one realise that one "none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself" (Romans 14:7). It makes us realise that in loving, one gives not only his or her body, but everything that he or she is, ONE'S WHOLE BEING--entire and undiminished--and EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HE OR SHE HAS (time, attention, possessions, and so on). This applies not only to married people, but to those called to celibacy as well. Chastity is our response to Jesus Christ, "who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2:20). It was God "who first loved us" (I John 4:19). The CCC (2346) says:

Charity is the form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as a school of the gift of the person. Self-mastery is ordered to the gift of self.

This is why Saint Josemaria Escriva said that chastity or holy purity is "a joyful affirmation" of love. In his meditation "For They Shall See God" (Friends of God no 182), he writes:

We respond with a joyful affirmation, and give ourselves to him freely and cheerfully. Your conduct should not be limited to simply evading falls and occasions of sin. In no way should you let it come down to a cold and calculating negation. Are you really convinced that chastity is a virtue and that, as such, it ought to grow and become perfect? Then I insist once again that it is not enough merely to be continent according to one's state in life. We must practise, we must live chastity, even to a heroic degree. This attitude involves a positive act whereby we gladly accept God's summons when he says: Praebe, fili mi, cor tuum mihi et oculi tui vias meas custodiant, 'Son, give me your heart, and turn your gaze upon my ways of peace.'

2.2 Apprenticeship in Self-Mastery

Chastity requires the gift of the whole self. But before I can give a gift, I must first acquire it, or buy it. That gift must first BELONG TO ME, it must first be MINE. In other words, I can only give myself as a gift to another if I have POSSESSION and CONTROL of self, if I have COMPLETE MASTERY of myself. Otherwise, my self-giving would be a lie because I would have nothing to give. The CCC (no 2339) says:

Chastity includes an APPRENTICESHIP IN SELF-MASTERY which is a TRAINING IN HUMAN FREEDOM. The alternative is clear: either man GOVERNS HIS PASSIONS and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy [cf Ecclesiasticus/Sirach 1:22]. "Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of CONSCIOUS and FREE choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and NOT by BLIND IMPULSES in himself or by MERE EXTERNAL RESTRAINT. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end" [Vatican II, Gaudium et Spes 17]

This struggle may sometimes require heroic effort. As Saint Josemaria says in point no 143 of The Way,

To defend his purity, Saint Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow, Saint Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, Saint Bernard plunged into an icy pond... You..., what have you done?

What are the means that aid the living of chastity?

Saint Josemaria gives some very practical tips on how to live holy purity (cf also CCCC no 490; CCC 2340-2347).

    • KEEP BUSY with your ordinary duties. "We ought as well to fill all our time with intense and responsible work, in which we seek God's presence, because we must never forget that we have been bought at a great price and that we are temples of the Holy Spirit." ("For They Shall See God," in Friends of God 186)
    • KEEP TEMPTATION AT A DISTANCE. "That supernatural mode of conduct is a truly military tactic. You carry on the war -- the daily struggles of your interior -- far from the main walls of your fortress. And the enemy meets you there: in your small mortifications, your customary prayer, your methodical work, your plan of life: and with difficulty will he come close to the easily-scaled battlements of your castle. And if he does come, he comes exhausted." (The Way 307) "You should also get into the habit of taking the battle to areas that are far removed from the main walls of the fortress. We cannot go about doing balancing acts on the very frontiers of evil. We have to be firm in avoiding the indirect voluntary. We must reject even the tiniest failure to love God, and we must strive to develop a regular and fruitful Christian apostolate, which will have holy purity both as a necessary foundation and also as one of its most characteristic fruits." ("For They Shall See God," in Friends of God 186)
    • DO NOT LOOK FOR TEMPTATIONS. Keep the senses under control: eyes, ears, imagination, memory. "You play around with temptations, you put yourself in danger, you fool around with your sight and with your imagination, you chat about... stupidities. And then you are anxious that doubts, scruples, confusion, sadness and discouragement might assail you. --You must admit that you are not very consistent." (Furrow 132)
    • RUN AWAY. When faced with temptation, we should just run away from it, and not try to fight it. "Don't show the cowardice of being 'brave'; take to your heels!" (The Way 132)
    • DO NOT SPEAK OF IMPURE THINGS. "Never speak of impure things or events, not even to lament them. Remember that such matter is stickier than pitch. Change the subject or, if that is not possible, continue with it, speaking of the need and the beauty of purity -- a virtue of men who know the value of their souls." (The Way 131)
    • PRAY AND MORTIFY. We need to use not only human means, but supernatural weapons as well. "The 'miracle' of purity has prayer and mortification as its two points of support." (Furrow 832)
    • DO FREQUENT CONFESSION. "If, alas, one falls, one must get up at once. With God's help, which will never be lacking if the proper means are used, one must seek to arrive at repentance as quickly as possible, to be humbly sincere and to make amends so that the momentary failure is transformed into a great victory for Jesus Christ." ("For They Shall See God," in Friends of God 186)
    • RECEIVE COMMUNION OFTEN, DAILY IF POSSIBLE. "Go to Communion. It doesn't show lack of respect. Go this very day when you have just got over that 'spot of trouble.' Have you forgotten that Jesus said: It is not by those who are well, but by those who are sick, that the physician is needed?" (The Way 536)
    • ASK ST JOSEPH. "Saint Joseph, our Father and Lord: most chaste, most pure. You were found worthy to carry the Child Jesus in your arms, to wash him, to hug him. Teach us to get to know God, and to be pure, worthy of being other Christs. And help us to do and to teach, as Christ did. Help us to open up the divine paths of the earth, which are both hidden and bright; and help us to show them to mankind, telling our fellow men that their lives on earth can have an extraordinary and constant supernatural effectiveness." (The Forge 553)
    • GO TO MARY. And of course, one should not forget devotion to the Most Blessed Virgin. "May I give you some advice for you to put into practice daily? When your heart makes you feel those low cravings, say slowly to the Immaculate Virgin: 'Look on me with compassion. Do not leave me, my Mother!' --And recommend this prayer to others." (Furrow 849)

2.3 Chastity is for everyone

Point 491 of the CCCC (cf CCC 2348-2350, 2394) teaches us:

As followers of Christ, the model of all chastity, all the baptised are called to live chastely in keeping with their particular states of life.

    • Some profess VIRGINITY or CONSECRATED CELIBACY which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner.
    • Others, if they are MARRIED live in conjugal chastity, or
    • if UNMARRIED practise chastity in continence.

How about those engaged to get married?

They, too, have to live chastity. The CCC (no 2350) says:

Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in CONTINENCE. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.

How about those with homosexual tendencies?

The CCC (no 2359) exhorts them also to live chastity, just like everyone else.

Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

2.4 What are the principal sins against chastity?

Sins against chastity fall under the main heading of lust. In each one of these sins, the object of sexual pleasure is treated as a "thing" and not as a "person" with dignity. The CCC (no 2351) defines it as follows:

Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

This means that sexual pleasure, when it is used by a MARRIED COUPLE for the sake of procreation in sexual union, is good and can even be offered to God and made holy. Sex is thus a sacred thing, because in every sexual act, God is present.

The CCCC (no 492; cf CCC 2351-2359, 2396) lists these offenses.

Grave sins against chastity differ according to their object:

    • adultery,
    • masturbation ("the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure" -- CCC 2352),
    • fornication ("carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman ... grave scandal when there is corruption of the young" -- CCC 2353),
    • pornography,
    • prostitution,
    • rape ("forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person" -- CCC 2356), and
    • homosexual acts.

These sins are expressions of the vice of lust. These kinds of acts committed against the physical and moral integrity of minors become even more grave.

We also ought to mention that impure looks at other people are also sinful. We will remember what our Lord Jesus Christ said (Matthew 5:27-30):

27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

2.5 What is the responsibility of civil authority in regard to chastity?

Point 494 of the CCCC (cf CCC 2354) teaches:

Insofar as it is bound to promote respect for the dignity of the person, civil authority should seek to create an environment conducive to the practice of chastity. It should also enact suitable legislation to prevent the spread of the grave offenses against chastity mentioned above, especially in order to protect minors and those who are the weakest members of society.

3. Married Love

Saint Josemaria Escriva wrote in "Marriage: A Christian Vocation" (Christ is Passing By 23):

Husband and wife are called to sanctify their married life and to sanctify themselves in it. It would be a serious mistake if they were to exclude family life from their spiritual development. The marriage union, the care and education of children, the effort to provide for the needs of the family as well as for its security and development, the relationships with other persons who make up the community, all these are among the ordinary human situations that christian couples are called upon to sanctify.

They will achieve this aim by exercising the virtues of faith and hope, facing serenely all the great and small problems which confront any family, and persevering in the love and enthusiasm with which they fulfil their duties. In this way they practice the virtue of charity in all things. They learn to smile and forget about themselves in order to pay attention to others. Husband and wife will listen to each other and to their children, showing them that they are really loved and understood. They will forget about the unimportant little frictions that selfishness could magnify out of proportion. They will do lovingly all the small acts of service that make up their daily life together.

The aim is this: to sanctify family life, while creating at the same time a true family atmosphere. Many christian virtues are necessary in order to sanctify each day of one's life. First, the theological virtues, and then all the others: prudence, loyalty, sincerity, humility, industriousness, cheerfulness.... But when we talk about marriage and married life, we must begin by speaking clearly about the mutual love of husband and wife.

3.1 The Marriage Act

Pope Pius XII, speaking about the marriage act in his Discourse of 29 October 1951 (quoted in CCC 2362) has this to say.

The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience PLEASURE and ENJOYMENT of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do NOTHING EVIL in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just MODERATION.

In the book of Tobias (8:4-9; quoted in CCC 2361), we read:

Tobias got out of bed and said to Sarah, "Sister, get up, and let us pray and implore our Lord that he grant us mercy and safety." So she got up, and they began to pray and implore that they might be kept safe. Tobias began by saying, "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers.... You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the race of mankind has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together." And they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night.

The CCC (no 2363) teaches us that marriage has a twofold END:

    1. the good of the SPOUSES, and
    2. the TRANSMISSION OF LIFE.

This twofold ends brings with it the following OBLIGATIONS. Point 495 of the CCCC (cf CCC 2360-2361, 2397-2398) tells us:

The goods of conjugal love, which for those who are baptized is sanctified by the sacrament of Matrimony, are

    1. UNITY [one woman, one man],
    2. FIDELITY,
    3. INDISSOLUBILITY, and
    4. an OPENNESS TO the PROCREATION of life and FECUNDITY (fruitfulness).

3.2 Conjugal fidelity

When husband and wife come together in marriage, their bond is sealed by God. Hence, there are three parties in the marriage and the bond made cannot be broken by just two of the three. Thus the Scripture clearly teaches (Mark 10:9; cf Matthew 19:1-12; I Corinthians 7:10-11)

What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

In what way does a married person go against unity, fidelity and/or indissolubility?

The following are offenses against fidelity:

    • ADULTERY. This is a "double sin" because it does not only go against the virtue of chastity, but also against the virtue of justice. The CCC 2380 defines the sin of adultery.
      • When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery.
    • DIVORCE. The Code of Canon Law (no 1141) clearly states:
    • a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.
    • POLYGAMY. The CCC (no 2387) states:
    • The predicament of a man who, desiring to convert to the Gospel, is obliged to repudiate one or more wives with whom he has shared years of conjugal life, is understandable. However polygamy is not in accord with the moral law." [Conjugal] communion is radically contradicted by polygamy; this, in fact, directly negates the plan of God which was revealed from the beginning, because it is contrary to the equal personal dignity of men and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that is total and therefore unique and exclusive" [Familiaris Consortio 19; cf Gaudium et Spes 47 # 2]. The Christian who has previously lived in polygamy has a grave duty in justice to honor the obligations contracted in regard to his former wives and his children.
    • INCEST. Point 2388 of the CCC explains what it is.
    • Incest designates intimate relations between relatives or in-laws within a degree that prohibits marriage between them [cf Leviticus 18:7-20]. St. Paul stigmatizes this especially grave offense: "It is actually reported that there is immorality among you . . . for a man is living with his father's wife.... In the name of the Lord Jesus ... you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh...." [I Corinthians 5:1, 4-5]. Incest corrupts family relationships and marks a regression toward animality.
    • SEXUAL ABUSE OF MINORS. This is not only a single offense because it not only goes against CHASTITY, but also against CHARITY (sin of scandal) and JUSTICE. The CCC 2389 says:
    • Connected to incest is any sexual abuse perpetrated by adults on children or adolescents entrusted to their care. The offense is compounded by the scandalous harm done to the physical and moral integrity of the young, who will remain scarred by it all their lives; and the violation of responsibility for their upbringing.
    • FREE UNIONS. The CCC (no 2390) says:
    • In a so-called free union, a man and a woman refuse to give juridical and public form to a liaison involving sexual intimacy.
    • The expression "free union" is fallacious: what can "union" mean when the partners make no commitment to one another, each exhibiting a lack of trust in the other, in himself, or in the future?
    • The expression covers a number of different situations: concubinage, rejection of marriage as such, or inability to make long-term commitments [cf Familiaris Consortio 81]. All these situations offend against the dignity of marriage; they destroy the very idea of the family; they weaken the sense of fidelity. They are contrary to the moral law. The sexual act must take place exclusively within marriage. Outside of marriage it always constitutes a grave sin and excludes one from sacramental communion.
    • TRIAL MARRIAGE. Point 2391 of the CCC notes:
    • Some today claim a "right to a trial marriage" where there is an intention of getting married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual relations may be, "the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor, especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim" [Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, Persona Humana 7]. Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages." It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another [cf Familiaris Consortio 80].

Is separation of spouses permitted?

The CCC (no 2383) says that separation which keeps the marriage bond is possible in certain cases which Church law has foreseen (see canons 1151-1155 of the Code of Canon Law).

How about if in the country, the only way to ensure certain legal rights, the care of the children or protection of inheritance is through CIVIL divorce?

The same point of the CCC cited above says that it can be tolerated and is not sinful.

How about if one is an innocent victim of a civil divorce, does he or she commit sin? The CCC (no 2386) says that it is not a sin. It explains further:

There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage [cf Familiaris Consortio 84]

3.3 The Child is a Gift of God, and the Fruit of Love

In what way should we regard children?

The CCCC (no 500; cf CCC 2378) tells us:

A child is a GIFT of God, the supreme gift of marriage. There is NO such thing as a RIGHT to have children (e.g. “a child at any cost”). But a child does have the right to be the fruit of the conjugal act of its parents as well as the right to be respected as a person from the moment of conception.

By considering as God's gifts, parents need to have a three-fold attitude towards children.

    1. They should be OPEN to the possibility of that God will send them children, but also to the possibility that He may not send them any.
    2. Should God SEND them, the parents should ACCEPT the gift, and thank God for his trust. They ought to remember that these are, first of all, God's children, and He will provide the necessary help so that they can grow up as His children.
    3. Should God NOT SEND them, the parents CANNOT make use of ARTIFICIAL MEANS (e.g., in vitro fertilisation) to obtain them. Children are not like pets which one can buy in the pet shop. (For lack of space, we will not discuss this point in detail here.)

When is it moral to regulate births?

The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable

    1. when it is pursued by the spouses WITHOUT EXTERNAL PRESSURE;
    2. when it is practiced NOT OUT OF SELFISHNESS but for serious reasons; and
    3. with METHODS that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods.

(CCCC 497; cf CCC 2368-2369, 2399)

What are immoral means of birth control?

Every action -- for example, direct sterilization or contraception -- is intrinsically immoral which (either in anticipation of the conjugal act, in its accomplishment or in the development of its natural consequences) proposes, as an end or as a means, to hinder procreation. (CCCC 498; cf CCC 2370-2372)

What can spouses do when they do not have children?

Should the gift of a child not be given to them, after exhausting all legitimate medical options, spouses can show their generosity by way of foster care or adoption or by performing meaningful services for others. In this way they realize a precious spiritual fruitfulness. (CCCC 501; cf CCC 2379)

Why are artificial insemination and artificial fertilization immoral?

They are immoral because they dissociate procreation from the act with which the spouses give themselves to each other and so introduce the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Furthermore, heterologous insemination and fertilization with the use of techniques that involve a person other than the married couple infringe upon the right of a child to be born of a father and mother known to him, bound to each other by marriage and having the exclusive right to become parents only through each another. (CCCC 499; cf CCC 2373-2377)

Recommended Reading

    • Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 487-502
    • Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2331-2400

Websites