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Sixty-Fifth Valentine Day-A short Story
By
E-mail: aks46@rediffmail.com
It is widely understood that God cannot be exactly defined. Many wise men and philosophers have been trying since long to understand and define the god. Eighth century AD Indian philosopher and one of the greatest exponent of the doctrine of Advaita (non-duality) Vedanta and a savior of Vedic Dharma has defined the God as ” I am not the body, breath, mind, intellect, ego or memory-- I am the ever pure consciousness whose nature is bliss, I am that innocence and benevolence”. Friendliness, Compassion, Contentment, an attitude of sharing and caring
etc. –all these are some of the attributes of the Godly qualities.
Similarly, Love also cannot be exactly defined. Though, the great Indian Guru and philosopher Sri Chinmoy says “ Love is not a thing to understand. Love is not a thing to feel. Love is not a thing to give and receive. Love is a thing to only become and eternally to be.” True love is beyond the measures and limits of place of origin, caste & creed, time & place, gender & color, age and other attributes and equally exists in all men & women, animals & insects, eternally and always. I do believe it existed even before since when the celebrations of Valentine Day was started in Europe(Italy-Rome) by saint Valentine, in the late third century AD. The fierce force of attraction and attachment between men & women, mother & son, brother & sister, beautiful women with herself, wise men with their elocution-skills and brilliancy, owners with their pets, children with their toys, fire with (highly flammable) fuels, a bed-ridden patient with its lust for life are nothing but only Love, with its various manifestations in colors, types, quantity, place etc.
Take the example of Pandit Deena Nath Sharma, an 84year old retired pensioner from Govt. Administrative Services. His excellent personality with height of about 6’ 2 ½”, 84 Kg weight, typical Kashmiri fair skin-color, sharp features, a bit long nose, always clean shaved, gray–black to now white turned curly hairs, always smartly dressed in dark colored suits with matching tie or only in white shirt-trousers make a complete picture of an aristocratic person, some one alike the Greek historical personality-Alexander the Great. During his 36 years long administrative service career for un-divided state of Uttar Pradesh (U.P.) in India, he was privileged to work in various departments, at different locations/ region of the state, with varied positions extended from Sales-Tax(now re-designated as Trade-Tax) Commissioner, Chief Consolidation officer, Chairman cum Managing Director of a state government undertaking, City Magistrate, District Magistrate etc. Many of yester-year ’s and to days Ministers/Chief Ministers and other big names in the Indian political horizon were struggling in those days, seeking for some space & recognition. Most of them were queuing at his door for some out of the way concessions/small favors. Many may now refuse to recollect and recognize him or pretend to even know him. On many of occasions of national festivals like Holi, Diwali, Durga puja, Muharrum etc or other occasions of Hindu-Muslim riots in sensitive areas he did not care for his personal conveniences and worked day and night with fairness, honestly, sincerity and great vigor. It is said that a person’s personality is made the way he thinks, behaves, eats and drinks, lives the life. Even after 26 years of his retirement from the Govt. services Mr. Sharma still maintains the natural- glow on his face, confidence, metallic commanding voice and suave, articulate, soft-aristocratic manners. He still maintains his routine and dresses in white shirts, matching color trousers, neat and clean dark shocks and daily polished boots, always clean-shaved, walking erect with a slight limp in the left knee due to advancing age and onset of osteoporosis.
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Mr. Sharma was born in a middle class farmer’s family. Out of his many siblings there was always a competition to do better in the studies. All grew up nicely with good education and settled timely in their respective lives. Mr. Sharma was sharp and good both at studies and games. He got selected both in the state (PCS) and federal (IAS) administrative services. But his rank was not very good at the federal services-list and was bound to be posted in remote areas / border hilly areas of the country, whereas being on top of the list in the state level–list he had a good chance to get quick promotions and always good postings near his native place within his own state. He did finally choose PCS. He was soon rewarded with a young bride from a known family with similar administrative background. But his bride was moderate in looks, color, education and other qualities and hardly could be attributed as a good match. Many guessed a good dose of dowry played the deciding role. Mr. Sharma was happy with his life as despite of being very busy it was going on smoothly. It had given him all that a young man can ever inspire for. A big bungalow, good permanent high paying government job, a young wife, good social status, a long row of helpers/associates ready to do any thing both at office and home. Soon he was blessed with a promotion in the office and also with two girls and a boy in the family, in a short time. He got more busy both at works and home. Suddenly what happened in his life was never imagined by any body! His wife got a severe heart disease and doctors on examination advised her full bed rest and not even to get up from the bed. Mr. Sharma tried his level best to give more time to his family, but with continuous and series of transfers, new postings, training-schedules, visits of higher officials/ministers and many times their families, he could not do so. His timing to go to the office in the morning was fixed at 08:30 AM, but return was not fixed. On many of the occasions, by the time when he was back, it was quite late and his children and wife were fast asleep. Slowly a sense of being unfair to his wife and the family crept into him. He struggled to do his best. Finally, as a temporary solution, he asked for one of his old paternal-aunts to live with them, who was widow with no immediate family liabilities but experienced enough and could have given directions to his family with responsibilities of a bed-ridden wife. Soon, things started seems to looking up and he was happy. But, it could not go long. An array of visitors from the extended family of the aunt started pouring regularly and many a times for extended durations. He waited patiently for some times and there after posed being tuff. He did not send her aunt back, but almost restricted visits by others.
Besides all this, his love for his wife never waned. Rather it increased slightly with time. He always looked for occasions when he could sit down calmly and share his morning breakfast, evening tea or dinner with his wife, remember the good old days just after the marriage, see marriage-photo albums, unmindfully pass his hand on over her head and occasionally fix her wandering hair locks, give assurances of her early recouping. A couple of times he did comb her mane and made perfect ornamental braids. Mrs. Sharma was not a child and used to understand every thing and sincerely wanted to give company to her charming and worthy husband, but was helpless due to her disease. She used to give short replies to his queries and most of the times only started crying silently. She loved her husband from core of her heart, who commanded her great respect and regards. In official parties and other special occasions Mr. Sharma used to participate alone, may be for a short while. Being local head of the administration he could not afford to say no on these occasions, as it went against the official protocol and would give a wrong message. Taking advantage of the situation, some of the charming & modern ladies, colleagues, wives of other senior officers, who always looked for some personal favors used to be more kind to him and eager to seek proximity to Mr. Sharma. Mr. Sharma politely refused to relent, as it would have given a hot spicy story to the local press and also looked wrong for the administration. Stories from all these occasions always trickled to her. She was proud of her husband. Best of all these, Mr. Sharma never expressed his personal disappointments directly or indirectly, tried to let her down, neither accused her nor her disease for all his silent sufferings and deprivations.
Slowly some more time has passed. Children grew up, completed their studies, settled in their lives good jobs and marriages. They were posted in big cities and were happy with their own lives. Finally the D-day had come, which Mr. Sharma cherished and waited for long time. He was retired from the government job, with his full pension and other benefits. Though, on retirement his age was 58 years, he maintained himself nicely and never looked more than 45/50 years old. Based on his very good service records, he was offered some post-retirement plum-postings by the government, but he politely refused, on grounds of his wife’s illness. It seemed not admissible to go back to his native village and settle down in his ancestral house. He planned to construct his own bungalow on the big piece of land that was bought by him while being in service some 20 years back and was left un-attended. As he could live only for three months in the govt. accommodation, he rented a near by house for another 18 months. It was a huge house and on its completion he shifted his family on the ground floor and other 3 families on the first floor also moved as tenant. The life again started moving with its pace. He was now much satisfied and happy with his life as he had his own enough time for the family, good personal health, no dearth of finances, big house, almost all the relatives/friends with in the city or near by, children nicely settled and far away.
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Now the only mission of his life was to give his wife the best of care, attention, and to provide her all the comforts and his personal company that he very much missed being busy in his active service. He would be the first to get up in the morning, initially he used to go for a walk in the near by park, now it had been replaced with a quick session of moderate exercises in the family gym, then help her ailing wife to get up. As the lady-cook used to come by 10 AM, he would prepare the morning tea himself and help his wife to refresh, before the morning tea was served with 2 no. glucose-biscuits. It was followed by the prescribed medicines to be given in right doses and at exact time, to read her the daily news-paper loudly, to attend the phone calls from the children and get her talk with them regularly. Mean while, he would steal some time for himself to take his bath, do some puja by chanting a few mantra loudly and then breakfast along with his wife. He would insist her for a bigger slice of paneer, her favorite bread-preparations and try to pamper with other items of her choice. He would make arrangements for her comfortably sitting / lying down in the sun in the winters at either the front lawn or outer balcony. He kept himself busy and used to run around his wife the whole day as if he wanted to compensate himself for all the losses he suffered on this front, in the last 30/35 years during his active service. His sincere efforts and care had shown his colors. Mrs. Sharma looked more healthy , cheerful and out going. The 24 hours nurse engaged to look after her, begged to be excused as she felt she had nothing more left to do and though, she being professional and trained for the job Mr. Sharma was taking a better care for her. Mr. Sharma wanted exactly the same, as now he would have more freedom and nurse would not put hindrance in his routine. In the dead of the night he would get up 3-4 times, un-provoked, to see if she was sleeping fine, would venture to feel her respiration, whether she had covered herself nicely in blankets in the winters, or the blast of the air conditioners in the summers are not directed at her? Many times he would try to feel her pulse and even at some times he would just gaze at her with out any reason.
About a year back at one evening Mrs. Sharma was not feeling well. Mr. Sharma did not pay much heed as weather was not good since last 4/5 days and it was very cold. At earlier occasions also she felt similarly during bad weathers. In the dead of the night suddenly Mr. Sharma felt some jolt and got up immediately from his deep sleep. He tried to feel her respiration, then pulse and finally called her loudly, but all in vain. There was no response. He was completely at loss and did not know what to do next at that time?. In a few minutes, he could manage to collect his energies/senses and asked for an ambulance, telephoned her personal physician to come immediately and she was transferred to the hospital at the middle of the night. Doctors failed to get any pulse of her. Mr. Sharma started crying loudly and did not know what to do? Doctors were very sincere and hard working. They called some big specialist from other hospital. They all did every thing to save her life and were busy the hole night. At the dawn of the next morning finally Mrs. Sharma opened her eyes, tried to smile un-mindfully as wondering about her illness and as if asking why she was in the hospital? Every thing was restored to normal in next 3-4 days. She was back from her hospital trip.
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Mr. Sharma was a bit now more terrified from the core of his heart. He did not tell any thing to any body, even to his children, knowingly that they would had been worried .As and when children came to know about her sudden hospitalization, they visited for some time and left in due course one after the another. For another one week, every thing was fine and as usual. On one pleasant evening when both were very happy and in good mood, they decided to take their dinner to-gather and on the bed. Mr. Sharma was trying to feed her wife with his own hands and intermittently also eating for himself. Mrs. Sharma was slow and eating small morsels un-enthusiastically. Suddenly, she raised her right-hand, signaling either to stop for food or her last final greetings of farewell to her loving husband. Her head got slowly rolled on his shoulders in one direction, eyes half closed and mouth also slightly open. Mr. Sharma could not decipher any thing immediately. He waited for some time and thought that she must have been either tired or got sleeping. Soon it was getting very late. He became anxious. He telephoned the family-doctor with his un-cleaned hand and mouth. The doctor did not take much time to arrive. He declared her dead. Oh God! What it all happened?
Mrs. Sharma was only in her teens, aged about eighteen years, when she arrived in the family as bride after marriage. She gave company to Mr. Sharma for about 65 years. She gave and got much love from him, to the extend possible for all these 65 years. The same number of Valentine days fallen in these 65 years and were celebrated by one and all. It is not sure whether in to-days times, If some one have ever imagined to celebrate the human relation-ship between a man with a women so long, with so much purity, simplicity, intensity, steadfastness, trust and that too aimlessly. In the current scenario when the partner is routinely changed on every valentine day, was it Mrs. and Mr. Sharma kept on celebrating the festival of love with out any purpose and self?
Dr .A. K Srivastava
Note :- This short story was written originally in Hindi by the author, and was published in 'Rashtriya Sahara' on Thursday the October 06,2011 issue but is translated into English language ,on the advice of his loving daughter : Mrs. Priyanka Sinha.