It started a cold and blustery day in Melbourne picked up Shrek & Ernie and set off to the Shell servo on the Hume near Donnybrook road to meet up with Paul, Macca Buckets, Suzie & Jaffa's. The guys arrived we had a bite to eat while waiting for the BIG BLACK MERC, minutes passed and with a toot we looked up to see the Black Blur fly by the race was on gentlemen start your engines. The trip up was uneventful stopping a Nagambie for a rest and a smoke before moving on to our destination. Arriving at our digs for the four days, we unpacked and cracked a can (some had already cracked a few on the way up)
What happened over the four days well I’ll have a go at telling you but my recollections are a bit blurred. the events that follow are not necessarily in chronological order (Dam that's a big word I’m still drying out)
Lets start with Paul or B1 as we now refer to him Paul ever trendy, ponytail and granny picker upper rocked out one night in his multicoloured pinstripe flannelette PJ pants a fashion statement if ever there was one, Paul had a shocker as far a golf was concerned and Friday night around the start of the 4th quarter after many lemon squashes Paul slipped into bed Shrek’s bed not his own just to keep his feet warm and passed out missing the last quarter so flaked was he that Pup was bouncing him 12 inches (300 millimetres for the metrically inclined) of the bed then siting next to him feeling his hair and giving him the cheeky boy pinches, Shrek even placed a rather large part of his anatomy close to his nose which also failed to raise him.
Speaking of Shrek he had a day out on the Friday and booked himself a place in the final group an Saturday but me thinks he celebrated too much because he was shattered on Saturday morning when that sweet face popped out from the door eyes sunken cheeks drooping the little finger up against his lips trying to get a Shhhhhhhh out you knew this was not going to be a good round and it didn’t get any better when Jaffa’s decided to powder his butt the Johnson & Johnson cloud sending Shrek into a Gagging fit. Shrek was a mingler happy to have a chat a drink a Punt a drink a punt and a punt, the Tote was a second home for a while there.
And keeping in the Paul & Shrek theme who keeps their car keys in their golf bag and the remote in their pocket well Paul does pity his remote didn’t open the boot and his bag was inside, looked like they were going to scam a ride home there for a minute but after some drilling and work by the local RACV (NRMA) guy who had given up on trying to open it, Paul was explaining that he usually just pushes this button and can you believe it the boot popped! Dam lucky boy.
Macca was “THE MAN” of the trip for me endless good humour never short of a word or providing a laugh for the group, on and off the course you knew he was there at one point during a round he decided to go mining in a very deep bunker hacking away sand flying everywhere he eventually found his ball with the club only to put it in the bunker opposite then with one deft stoke put it 2 inches from the pin, talking of being in deep the boys had decided to knock a few balls into the pool so Macca & Pup decided to go retrieve them no prizes for guessing where they both ended up, Pup spent a bit of time drying out his wallet but most things are at least plastic in them these days, the highlight of the trip goes to Macca the boys out on the lawn having a competition to see who could chip into a bin Macca down at the bin chucking back the balls, he disappears then from the scrub along the creek a fearsome sight emerges freaking out a few yes it’s Macca topless zinc cream on his face brandishing a spear (well a tree branch) and starting his own corroboree the mans got talent!
And as Pup made it into the Macca show, can I just say this guy is a Machine! Both on and off the golf course, last to bed, never without a drink of some kind in his hand, always has a story to tell, hammers a golf ball almost as hard as he does the pokies, you can’t have a trip without him and he made it to 3rd overall for the two days of the competition, a top effort.
While we are talking who finished where what about Col Barrow, another guy who just wants to hurt that little white thing, when he gets his driver out the ball just sits shaking on the tee, Col blitzed the back nine on day two of the competition ending his round with a 68, 4 under par from those who saw it they said it was just awesome and ended up 2nd overall even with a Magpie in love with his head dive bombing him at every turn, oh and by the way Col managed to find an old friend and have a chat, he’s got more front than Myer’s, unbelievable how he can just pick someone out and have them thinking they know him by the time he’s finished.
Col leads me into Jaffa’s, why? Well the two biggest kids had a food fight just can’t help themselves! Jaffa’s the driver of a Big Black Merc (when Suzie lets him) and the stand out of the golfers, don’t know if it had anything to do with the powdering of his butt but he managed to not chaff and have a day out on the first day of the competition probably the best round of his life, even with Jimmy getting the tribe to walk the back nine with the group, dam Jimmy you need to train the kids & Mrs to make more noise and distractions if we ever want to beat this guy (you know he has been taking lessons) a 62 net 10 under great golf Jaffa’s! And he managed to be part of the all conquering Trivia team.
And as is the case this leads me into the other members of the Trivia team Ernie, Buckets, Suzie and I along with Jaffa’s blitzed all comers with a possible 80 points up for grabs we managed 76 somewhere around 14 points ahead of our nearest opposition. Two member of the team Suzie and Buckets shared a buggy as is the case with the Big Black Merc Suzie took the wheel and Buckets hung on for dear life, it was more like a Rally than a round of golf but Buckets survived and both had a great time. Buckets found some long lost rhythm with the driver and was giving the ball some stick, I even offer $50.00 at one stage to get someone to make it disappear, I got to play a round (figuratively speaking) with Suzie and the way she describes some of her shots (usually the poorer ones) is well……….., if it had come from one of the guys you’d be asking them to ease back on the expletives but for some reason when Suzie spoke it didn’t seem all that bad in fact most of us were SOFT C@#$’s by the end of the round.
Ernie & I members of the winning Trivia team shared a room, ever heard of dueling banjo’s? Well we were dueling Snorers, and the fridge was usually stocked with Jim Beam; we had the first big win on the Pokies a Maxi jackpot paid for our weekend!
Broady & Eugy Shared a room, you sort of can’t mention one without the other, Eugy started the trip in a big way, not too sure but it was either an 8 or 10 can trip, suffice to say later that evening Eugy was a little worse for wear at one point testing the Brick room walls for soundness with his head and passed out rather early in Buckets bed. (the walls were hard, would have had nothing to do with the many cans consumed) Day 2 and much the same result for Eugy an early night a bit more wall soundness checking but managed to make it to his own bed this time, he did inform us at one stage while we were assisting in his bed time rituals that even his Mrs wouldn’t try to take his beer off him, we gave it back ASAP! Day 3 Broady & Eugy came to the rooms and found most of us had gone off to bed early, ready to rage the poor guys had not brought back any supplies from the club and tried unsuccessfully to raise the dead to find a beer or two, Dam another early night. Oh and from memory Broady had a Crappy second hole on Day 3 or was that a Crap on the Second Hole? He didn’t have a good time in the bushes he snuck off for a Pee at one stage and Buckets managed whack a ball into the bushes and find him, Broady as is his caring self promptly washed it for him. While I’m at his point I have to offer on behalf of all those who went our sincere thanks to Broady he does a fantastic job organising the trip (and the weather), MANY THANKS MATE!
I’m having brain faded now who else, Ah yes Col Bennett or Captain Snooze it seemed like every time we asked where he was someone said he was having a lie down, Costa can’t say I saw a lot of him shame he’s always good value but he and Col Bennett were sharing a room maybe they were just relaxing together? Poor bugger didn’t manage to finish Day two of the competition get well soon mate.
My one memory of Dwayne was seeing him cream golf balls at the motel sign one evening, missed it so they sailed off into the distance, when Ernie & I were leaving we passed the “Dead Center” of town just past the motel sign seems Dwayne was peppering the dead hope that doesn’t come back to haunt him.
Well I think that’s it, I probably have left many things out, mainly due to the many brain cells destroyed on the trip. Thanks again to Broady and to all that got there it was another great trip!
Final results are below. (Full Results Later)
1st Jaffa's - Total 135
2nd Col Barrow - Total 142
3rd Pup - Total 146
Longest Drives - Jaffa's & Suzie
Nearest the Pins - Buckets, Shrek, Jaffa's Paul, Eugy & Pup
NAGA - Costa