TRAGEDY-TALK GUIDE

When tragedy comes your way, you are not alone. The Oakwood Mental Health Team will be more than happy to assist addressing a tragedy in your family. Please feel free to contact any other mental health team members. You can reach by: telephone 631-812-3516, email rtoledo@shufsd.org, text 631-213-7478. All your information will be kept confidential.

When talking to your child about a tragedy, please keep in mind the following guidelines:

Children may have trouble sleeping and behave in an unusual manner while trying to process a tragedy. The National Children's Medical Center suggests contacting a pediatrician, a school counselor or a mental health professional if needed.

The NCMC offers tips for parents, teachers and other adults on how to talk to children who may be troubled or upset, support them and help them understand what happened:

Be supportive

Children will benefit greatly from support and caring expressed by the adults in their lives. Create an environment in your home or classroom that encourages respect for each other's feelings and fears, and allows for a supportive, healing environment.

Be available

Let children know that you are available to talk with them and let them ask questions.

It is OK if adults do not have answers to all of their children's questions. It is OK to let your child know that you do not have the answer but that you will try and find out.

Be caring

Let children know about the support being provided to students, friends, and families of the victims. Be aware of children who may have experienced a previous trauma and may be more vulnerable to prolonged, intense reactions. They will need extra support.

Be reassuring

Acknowledge the frightening parts of the event and explain what happened in words children understand. Explanations should be appropriate to the child's age, developmental stage, and language skills.

Reassure children that they are loved and will be taken care of.

Children who have concerns about siblings who are living on a college campus or have concerns about safety at their own school should be reassured and their concerns validated.

Be thoughtful

Be aware of how you talk about the event and cope with the tragedy, and maintain your child's routine as best as possible. Children learn how to react to traumatic situations by watching and listening to parents, peers, and the media. Reduce or eliminate your child's exposure to television images and news coverage of the shooting. The frightening images and repetition of the scenes can be disturbing for children. If they do see coverage, be sure to talk with them about what they saw and what they understood about the coverage. Make sure to correct any misunderstanding or misinterpretations.

Be creative

For children who are too young to talk or do not feel comfortable talking about their feelings, expressive techniques such as play, art and music can provide additional ways for children to express their feelings and let you know what may be troubling them.

Helping your children manage distress in the aftermath of a shooting http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/aftermath.aspx

Managing your distress in the aftermath of a shooting http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/mass-shooting.aspx

Five Questions on the Tucson, Ariz., Shootings for Psychologist Joel Dvoskin, PhD **please see # 3 question and response

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/01/tucson-shootings.aspx

Helpful Hints for School Emergency Management:

Psychological First Aid (PFA) for Students and Teachers: Listen, Protect, Connect – Model & Teach http://rems.ed.gov/docs/HH_Vol3Issue3.pdf

Listen, Protect, Connect – Model and Teach Psychological First Aid for Teacher and Students http://www.ready.gov/sites/default/files/documents/files/PFA_SchoolCrisis.pdf

After a Loved One Dies – how children grieve and how parents and other adults can support them http://www.newyorklife.com/newyorklife.com/General/FileLink/Static%20Files/New%20York%20Life%20Foundation%20Bereavement%20Guide%20-%20After%20a%20Loved%20One%20Dies%20.pdf

School Crisis Guide: Help and Healing in a Time of Crisis http://www.neahin.org/educator-resources/school-crisis-guide.html