Mental Health Resources

We are delighted to announce that our school will be participating in the School Mental Health Consulting Program this year. This innovative new program will provide our school with additional resources to support the mental health and wellbeing of all students. Please be on the lookout for helpful information about a featured mental health and well-being topic in each month’s parent newsletter and on this page. All information will be prepared by our school’s mental health consultant.

Nine every day strategies for managing thoughts and feelings during crisis

Fear and anxiety are perfectly normal reactions for all of us to have when confronting a crisis and we want to share the following strategies that can help you and your family get through this together. So the next time you find yourself or your child struggling during these challenging times just remember FACE COVID.

F: Focus on what you can control. Fear, anxiety and worry are inevitable, but you can control what you do with those feelings.

A: Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. Notice what’s going on in your inner world and respond with curiosity. You might think to yourself (or say out loud) “I am noticing feelings of anxiety”, or “I am having thoughts about getting sick”.

C: Come back into your body. Find your own way of connecting with your physical body. Some strategies that might work include pressing your feet into floor, squeezing your fingers together, or slowly breathing.

E: Engage in what you are doing. Focus your attention on the current activity, and use all five of your senses to fully experience the present moment.

C: Committed action. This is any action you take because it’s important to you, even if it brings up difficult thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself, what can I do right now that will improve life for myself and others around me?

O: Opening Up. Make room for difficult feelings and be kind to yourself. We can’t stop feelings from happening but we can make room for them and acknowledge that they are normal. Find some kind words to say to yourself when you experience difficult feelings.

V: Values. Use values to guide your committed actions. What do you want to stand for in the face of this crisis? What kind of person do you want to be through all of this: humor, love, patience, respect, courage, caring, kindness etc. Try to sprinkle those values into your day and let them guide and motivate your actions.

I: Identify resources. These resources can include things like help, assistance, support and advice. People and organizations that can provide these resources might include friends, family, neighbors, health care workers and emergency services. Know emergency numbers, for example call 888-NYC-WELL for mental health needs or text COVID to 692-692 to receive important updates from NYC governmental agencies.

D: Disinfect and Distance. Wash hands regularly and maintain social distance as per local directives.

Beat the Winter Blues

Beat the winter blues. Even though “winter blues” is not in any of the official medical textbooks, most professionals in the healthcare community acknowledge that people tend to feel sad, down and even lazy during the darkest and coldest days of winter. There are many explanations for why people start to feel this way during winter and a lot of it is related to the lack of daylight. When days are shorter people tend to spend less time outside which means we get less exercise and less exposure to the sunlight our bodies need.

The shorter days also affect our natural sleep cycles causing our brains to want more sleep. So what can families do to beat the winter blues?

(1)exercise (2)Exercise(3)EXERCISE.

The solution is as simple, and as difficult, as staying active and exercising during winter. Research has consistently shown that people who exercise during the cold, dark winter months are far less likely to develop the “winter blues” or even a more serious condition known as “Seasonal Affective Disorder”. Parents should know that with proper attire children and adults can safely play outside as long as wind chill temperatures are not below zero degrees Fahrenheit. And for indoor exercise options check out Shape UP NYC for free drop-in fitness activities all over Staten Island.

Managing Challenging Behaviors at Home

Every parent struggles with their child's behavior from time to time. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics ranks behavior and discipline among the most common issues that are discussed during regular child well visits. This month we are encouraging parents to focus on a proactive and preventative approach to challenging behaviors. The most important thing to always keep in mind when managing behavior is that children absolutely crave adult attention, especially attention from their parents. Children will go to great lengths to get that adult attention and the vast majority of behavior happens simply because our children are trying to get our attention. Even if the attention children receive is not "high quality" attention, there is still a very good chance a challenging behavior is nothing more than an attempt to get some attention.

So the best approach to managing challenging behaviors at home is to be proactive and provide attention to our children before they feel the need to do something undesirable to get our attention. Even better, is if we provide positive attention when our children do things that we actually want them to do (e.g., "I love it when you help your sister by finding her shoes"). Parents who want more help can reach out to us at the school for information about free courses in the community where you can learn more about this and other strategies.

Self-Esteem

9 simple strategies for children and adults to boost self-esteem:

• Notice your self-talk: Just take the time to become aware of how you talk to yourself throughout the day. What does your inner voice say when you face a challenge, when you are unable to complete something, or when you achieve a goal. Your self-talk has a lot to do with your self-esteem.

• Kill negative thoughts: This is the most important thing you can do for your self-esteem after you notice your self-talk. Simply interrupting or stopping negative thoughts about yourself will have a positive impact on your self-esteem. Just imagine how good you would feel if you never had a bad thought about yourself.

• Think positive: Another important step to managing your self-talk is to increase the number of positive things you say to yourself. This can be achieved by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk, or just by having more positive thoughts about yourself. If you can’t eliminate all negative self-talk try to balance any negative self-talk with a positive thought about yourself.

• Celebrate your strengths: Celebrating your strengths is a simple activity to incorporate into daily life. These can be things you like about yourself physically, your personality, your abilities, or your interactions with other people.

• Compliment others. Simply being kind to others is a tremendous way to improve your own self-image. Acts of kindness bring joy to others and making other people feel good is almost guaranteed to make you feel good about yourself as well. Giving compliments is one of the easiest ways to be kind and it is something children and adults can practice every day.

• Do something you are good at: If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of 'flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards!

• Remember all the things you have achieved: This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. Some common examples for adults are things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams, finishing school, saving money for something, trying to help someone, etc, and these can be great conversation starters for helping children identify things they have achieved.

• Accept your flaws: As human beings, we all have things we wish we could change or improve upon within ourselves. Accepting your “flaws” does not have to mean you like them. It simply means you choose to no longer let something that cannot be changed have control over you and this gives you space to discover your strengths.

• Practice self-care: Taking better care of yourself is one of the quickest ways to provide an instant self-esteem boost, but also one of the easiest things to ignore when you are not feeling up to the task. Self-care means focusing on yourself and your needs, through things like getting sufficient sleep, nourishing your body appropriately, engaging in daily hygiene, and participating in activities that promote a sense of peace and well-being.

More information: For more information including a “guided tour” of your self-esteem, more everyday activities, and detailed lessons visit The National Association for Self Esteem online at http://healthyselfesteem.org

ADHD Awareness

General Information about ADHD:

As part of our ongoing efforts to support the Mental Health and Wellbeing of all students we are sharing some important information about Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) for the month November. ADHD is a brain-based medical disorder that happens to about 1 in every 10 children and approximately 1 in 20 adults. It is a disorder that can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, IQ, ethnicity or socio-economic background. Parents should remember that ADHD is nobody’s fault, and does not occur because of bad parenting, family problems, or poor teachers. Some things that do make ADHD more likely are gender (more common in boys), family history (more common if parents have ADHD) and certain physical differences in the brain. Children with unmanaged ADHD often struggle in school and are more likely to experience behavioral challenges at home. ADHD can be difficult to identify in children because occasionally struggling to stay focused is a perfectly normal part of growing up. But if your child has symptoms of ADHD that last for several days or if you have concerns about your child’s ability to focus and stay on task it might be a good idea to seek professional support. Please see below for some of the signs and symptoms of ADHD and some helpful resources.

Signs and Symptoms

It is important to remember that ADHD looks different in children of different ages and that all children will occasionally exhibit many of these signs and symptoms as part of the normal process of growing up:

Preschool to Grade 2:

ü Often ignores directions or delays too much in following directions.

ü Has a harder time sitting still during meals or group activities than other kids her age.

ü Gets up, fidgets or talks when she’s expected to be quiet.

ü Has trouble stopping one activity to begin another.

ü Struggles to slow down enough to do things carefully.

ü Needs to be reminded a lot to stop and listen.

ü Has a harder time paying attention than most kids her age.

ü Grabs things without permission.

ü Is unable to wait for directions before starting an activity.

ü Takes too much time or needs a lot of encouragement to complete routine tasks.

ü Has trouble remembering directions.

ü Has trouble recalling facts she learned recently.

ü Tends to get very upset or angry over what ought to be minor frustrations.

Grades 3-8:

ü Is often very restless.

ü Often fidgets, moves around or makes too much noise when he’s expected to be quiet.

ü Tends to forget what he just heard or read, unless it’s really interesting to him.

ü Often rushes through assignments or produces messy work with lots of careless mistakes.

ü Often seems to be working below his potential in school or on homework.

ü Spaces out” a lot or loses focus easily.

ü Often stops doing chores, homework or other activities without finishing them.

ü Has trouble remembering day-to-day things.

ü Tends to forget things like bringing home notes or handing in homework.

ü Struggles to keep track of his stuff.

ü Has trouble waiting his turn to join a conversation or activity.

ü Worries that he’ll forget what he wants to say unless he says it right away.

ü Has a hard time thinking through the consequences of his actions.

ü Often says or does things without considering what might happen as a result.

ü Works too slowly.

Help for ADHD

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) parents should speak with their child’s pediatrician if there are any concerns about ADHD. If you or your doctor has concerns about ADHD, you can take your child to a specialist such as a child psychologist or developmental pediatrician. In order to make sure your child reaches his or her full potential, it is very important to get help for ADHD as early as possible. Treatments may include medication, lifestyle changes and behavior therapy training and supports for parents.

Resources:

Pediatrician:Parents are always encouraged to reach out to their child’s pediatrician with any concerns about their child’s behavior, attention or ability to focus.

Symptom Checker: Psych Central Offers a free 2-minute online ADHD quiz that can help parents identify if a formal assessment for ADHD is needed

Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): Nationwide ADHD information and research organization. A lot of useful information is available on their website including the national resource call center which is funded by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Parents can call the resource center Monday through Friday 100pm-500pm at 1-800-223-4050 to speak with an ADHD Information Specialist.

Fitness for Mind and Body

A healthy lifestyle can help to prevent mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, as well as heart disease, diabetes, obesity and other chronic health problems. It can also play a big role in helping people recover from these conditions. Choosing healthy foods, getting the appropriate amount of exercise, getting enough sleep and managing stress can help control weight, improve mental health, and help you live longer, healthier and happier.

Healthy Foods:The quality of the food you eat can impact your overall physical and mental health. Eating nutritious foods can go a long way toward achieving a healthy lifestyle, so make every bite count.

· A healthy diet includes a full range of vegetables, fruits, legumes (lentils, chickpeas, beans), fish, whole grains (rice, quinoa, oats, breads, etc.), nuts, avocados and olive oil to support a healthy brain. Sweet and fatty foods should be special treats, not the staples of your diet.

· People who eat a diet high in whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, legumes, fish and unsaturated fats (like olive oil) are up to 35% less likelyto develop depression than people who eat less of these foods.

· Highly processed, fried and sugary foods have little nutritional value and should be avoided. Research shows that a diet that regularly includes these kinds of foods can increase the risk of developing depression by as much as 60%.

· Studies have found that young people with the healthiest diets are half as likelyto have depression.

Exercise:Staying active can benefit so many aspects of your health and can even prevent physical and mental health symptoms from worsening. It’s important to incorporate exercise daily to ensure your body and your mind are healthy.

· Exercise benefits nearly all aspects of a person’s health. In addition to helping control weight, it can improve the changes of living longer, the strength of bones and muscles and your mental health

· Just 1 hourof exercise per week is related to lower levels of mood, anxiety and substance use disorders

· Exercise increases 5 different types of substancesthat play an important role in brain functioning and are linked to various mental health conditions

· Research has shown that exercise has similar effectsto mental health counseling for many people with anxiety.

Sleep:Your physical and emotional health depends so much on how rested you are. Sleep is fundamental to a healthy mind and body – getting a good night’s sleep can make a huge difference in your overall health.

· People with mental health issues are 5 times more likelyto have a sleep problem.

· The amount of sleep people need depends on your age. The recommendation for Pre-Schoolers is 10-13 hours per night, and Elementary and Middle school age children should get 9-11 hours per night.

· Quality of sleep matters as well. People should be asleep for at least 85% of the timespent in bed, fall asleep within 30 minutesof getting in bed, and wake up no more than 1 timeper night.

Managing Stress: No one likes to be stressed out – especially when we know it can be linked to

poor health. Learning how to manage your stress can be a small change with a big positive impact on your physical and mental health.

· Stress can cause at least 5 different physical symptoms: Acne and other skin problems, muscle aches and tension, stomach issues like nausea and heartburn, digestive issues like diarrhea and constipation, and changes in appetite and weight.

· Try these5 Tips for dealing with stress:Be realistic with the expectations you set for yourself and your children, handle responsibilities one thing at a time, get a hobby, vent off stress by talking to a friend or family member, and use a flexible approach when dealing with opposition.

Understanding Stress

What is stress?When children and adults use the word “stress” they are usually talking about an unpleasant feeling they experience when thinking about or responding to demands. When this unpleasant feeling is stronger we feel more stressed and when the feeling goes away we feel less stressed. Scientists have identified many different sources of stress including:

· “Routine stress”relates to the pressure of school work, classes, relationships, and daily responsibilities. Stress associated with an upcoming test or homework deadline are examples of routine stress.

· “Change stress”is stress that is brought on by a sudden or unexpected negative change like losing a job or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

· “Traumatic stress”is experienced in an event like a major accident, assault or natural disaster where people are in danger of being seriously hurt.

Is stress harmful?Not all stress is bad. In fact, stress can motivate children to prepare for an exam or perform well in a challenging situation. The physical changes associated with stress (increased blood flow, faster breathing etc) can even be life-saving in some situations. However, health problems can occur if stress goes on for too long or becomes chronic. While everyone experiences stress differently, some examples of physical symptoms associated with prolonged or chronic stress include headaches, sleeplessness, reduced energy, changes in appetite, gastrointestinal issues, irritability and emotional changes. Overtime these symptoms can lead to serious health problems like high blood pressure, diabetes and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

How can children deal with stress?The good news is that scientists and mental health professionals have been studying stress for decades and several “self-help” techniques have been developed and proven over time. Here are five techniques you can try with your children:

1. Recognize the symptoms:An important step in dealing with stress is learning how stress affects the body. The most noticeable physical symptoms of stress include increased heart rate, increased body temperature, muscle tension, sweating and upset stomach. Simply checking in with your body and identifying these physical symptoms can have a calming effect.

2. Get regular exercise:Just 30 minutes per day of moderate physical activity, even walking, can reduce stress and increase energy levels.

3. Try a relaxing activity: Mind-body activities like mindfulness, meditation, yoga and tai chi can help children learn to focus their attention on pleasant thoughts and reduce stressful feelings. Research has even shown that these activities when practiced properly and regularly result in changes to how the brain responds to stress.

4. Set achievable goals:With this technique, sometimes called “chunking”, children to break down large tasks into smaller units helping to relive overwhelming feelings.

5. Listen to you children:Parents should always encourage their children to talk to them when they feel stressed. Just talking about stress can improve feelings and this technique also allows parents to monitor for more severe issues.

Should I seek professional help?While mild and even moderate stress is considered normal and healthy, parents should be considered professional support in the following situations: a constant overwhelming feeling, children using drugs or alcohol to escape from stress, or when stress interferes with daily activities like attending school, maintaining friendships or completing assignments. See below for professional resources to help children manage and deal with stress

Professional Resources:

· Talk to your child’s pediatrician:In many cases a little practical advice from a trusted professional can make a big difference. Most pediatricians can refer your child to a mental health professional for additional support if needed.

· NYC Well:This is a free resource provided by New York City to support the mental health of all New Yorkers. Parents or children can chat with a professional to get recommendations for additional “self-help” techniques and referrals for mental health services. Call 1-888-NYCWELL, Text “well” to 65173 or visit the NYC Well website at nyc.gov/nycwell.

· Outpatient Mental Health: Two agencies in Staten Island offer programs where children can walk in and see a mental health clinician after completing a simple pre-registration process. Speak to your child’s guidance counselor or any trusted adult in the school for more information.

Supporting Physical Readiness for Learning

· Sleep: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children ages 6-12 sleep for between 9 and 12 hours on a regular basis. Here are some simple tips that can help parents meet that goal:

ü Help kids go to bed at approximately the same time every night and wake up at approximately the same time every morning.

ü Avoid major changes in bed time and wake up time on non-school days

ü Establish a healthy bed time routine that starts approximately 30 minutes before the official bed time.

ü Healthy bed time routines include limited physical activity, no use of electronics (TV, video games, computers, tablets, phones etc), calming activities like reading or being read to by an adult, and a predictable sequence of activities like bathing, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth etc.

ü Consider reaching out to your child’s pediatrician for specific advice if your child struggles to fall asleep, stay asleep and/or wake up on time on a regular basis. Also keep in mind that too much sleep on a regular basis could be a sign of a mental health issue such as depression.

· Nutrition: The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported on the link between nutrition and academic achievement for several years along with the following tips for parents:

ü Ensure children eat breakfast every day because breakfast is the most important meal of the day to establish readiness for learning.

ü Support children in eating a variety of healthy foods including fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy (e.g., milk), and whole grains.

ü Limit daily intake of unhealthy food components like fat, saturated fat, added sugars, and sodium.

ü Recognize that the recommended daily calorie intake varies greatly depending on child age, gender and activity level. Children who regularly eat more than the recommended number of calories are at risk of becoming overweight.

ü Reach out any trusted adult at the school if your child or anyone in your family does not have enough to eat. We have several resources available to support families in meeting their nutritional needs, and all requests for support will remain private and confidential.

Supporting Mental Readiness for Learning

· Study Habits: Students who complete homework assignments on a regular basis receive better grades in school and are more likely to be successful throughout their academic careers:

ü Establish a consistent time to do homework each night.

ü When no homework, or little homework, is assigned encourage children to engage in additional study activities like practicing skills in areas of need, reading enriching content related to homework or reading for pleasure in order to maintain consistency with homework time.

ü Create a distraction free place in the home for children to work on homework.

ü Limit or restrict access to electronics, messaging and social media during homework time. Children who are distracted when studying are less likely to think deeply about content or remember information from their studies.

· Motivation: Students make decisions everyday about how much time and effort to invest in their learning and parents can influence these decisions in many ways:

ü Show interest in your child’s school work and achievements at school, children are more likely to try hard when they know their parents are watching.

ü Consistently communicate expectations for school work and academic performance. Children come to understand their parent’s expectations over time so it is important to regularly communicate with your child about your expectations.

ü Use encouraging statements and a lot of praise when discussing expectations with your child instead of put downs or insults. Statements like “When it is time to study, work hard!” and “That assignment is really tough, but I know you can do it!” are good examples of encouraging ways to communicate expectations..

· Behavior: Children who learn to be respectful, caring and responsible at home are less likely to get in trouble at school and have better academic performance:

ü Establish rules in the home and provide feedback when children follow rules and when children do no follow rules.

ü Teach respect through example, children learn to be respectful by watching others. Ways to show respect include showing interest in others, listening before speaking, talking in a pleasant tone of voice, and spending quality time together.

ü Have your children be responsible for age appropriate chores at home. Suggestions for younger children include setting the table, taking out garbage, putting away dishes and cleaning up toys and clothes. Older children can be involved with more complex tasks like meal preparation, laundry and household cleaning.

Stress: While some stress can be helpful and even motivate children to study harder or spend more time preparing for exams etc., children who are under too much stress are likely to be distracted in class and may even develop health conditions that can interfere with school. We will be focusing on stress in the April mental health corner and parents are encouraged to check back soon for detailed information about stress.

Building Healthy Self Esteem

Tips for supporting healthy self-esteem:

• Learn to embrace your children’s failures: It is easy for parents to get upset when they see their child struggling or even failing. However when handled correctly failure can be one of the best learning opportunities for children. Parents just need to remember that times of failure are when children need our love and support the most. Parental responses like disapproval and ridicule only make a difficult situation worse and can lower self-esteem.

• Let your child take healthy risks: Start by forcing yourself to stand back while your child takes healthy risks. To build confidence in the world, kids have to take chances, make choices and take responsibility for them and learn from the outcomes.

• Share your own mistakes with your children: Talk with your children about the mistakes you make and what you learn from them. This helps kids understand that failure is a normal and even helpful part of life especially when you learn from failure.

• Set realistic expectations for your child: Parents often want to push their child to be the best he or she can be, but it is important to set achievable goals. Children who rarely, or never achieve success are likely to doubt their own abilities which makes it hard to have good self-esteem.

• Know when to raise the bar: Children who rarely experience failure are likely to become over confident in their abilities and develop too much self-esteem. This can lead to arrogant attitudes toward others which makes it difficult to develop and maintain friendships. When this happens parents can expose children to new challenges or define success in a way that results in a healthy amount of struggle.

• Help your child make meaningful contributions: Giving children age appropriate chores at home and helping children find ways to contribute in the community provides an opportunity to earn a sense of accomplishment. These small victories feel good on their own without the need for adult praise which helps take control of their own self-esteem.

How to tell when you child has too little (or too much self-esteem):

• Extremely low self-esteem can be a signal that a child is experiencing depression. If your child seems to insist that he or she is not capable of success, or expects failure in all situations you might want to think about these additional symptoms of depression:

o Sadness, anxiety, or feeling “empty” of any mood

o Feelings of hopelessness

o Feelings of pessimism, expecting only bad things to occur

o Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyed hobbies and activities

o Neglecting care of oneself, such as not bathing, grooming, or eating

o Fatigue or decreased energy level, moving or speaking slowly

o Difficulty sleeping, waking very early in the morning, or sleeping more than usual

o Increased or decreased appetite, large changes in the body weight

• Extremely high self-esteem can lead to children to have a grandiose sense of self-worth or arrogant attitudes toward others and a lack of empathy which can result in social isolation and anti-social behavior. While not usually diagnosed in children, many experts agree that extremely high self-esteem over extended periods of time can put children at risk of developing Narcissism as adults. Narcissism is a pervasive personality disorder in adults that is associated with significant challenges in relationships and workplace interactions.

Who to reach out to for help when needed:

• Pediatrician: It is always a good idea to schedule an appointment with your child's pediatrician if you have concerns about your child’s thoughts or feelings about himself or herself. A trusted pediatrician can help everyone understand mental health, discuss various options and provide practical advice for getting children back on the right track.

• Outpatient Mental Health: Outpatient mental health services include psychotherapy (aka “talk therapy”) and medications that help restore normal chemistry in the brain. Ppsychotherapy, medications (or both) can be successful for children where low self-esteem results in depression. The Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Service (aka “The Jewish Board”) is a large mental health agency with offices in Staten Island where children can receive psychotherapy and/or medication. Parents can schedule an initial session by calling 844-ONE-CALL (844-663-3355).

• NYC Well: This is a free resource available 24 hours a day 7 days a week provided by the New York City Department of Health to support the mental health of all New Yorkers. Parents can chat with a professional to get referral information for mental health services and access in-home support in the event of a crisis. Call 1-888-NYCWELL, Text “well” to 65173 or visit the NYC Well website at nyc.gov/nycwell to chat with a live representative.

Managing Virtual Violence

• Do some research: Find media that match your child’s age and maturity level. Keep in mind that young children should never be exposed to virtual violence including violent video games, and violence on television. Remember that exposure includes “second-hand exposure” such as watching others play violent video games and hearing violence on television from another room. See below for a link to impartial reviews of all types of media.

• Set limits: Think about what your children watch in addition to setting limits on the amount of screen time.

• Watch and discuss together: Find some time to watch television or play video games you’re your child. Turn moments of on-screen violence into teachable moments and explain real life consequences of violent and aggressive behavior. Ask your children to think about how they would feel if someone was hurt in real life. Remind children that violence is not a joke.

• Swap in the good: Expose children to media that uses non-violent ways to resolve conflicts and encourage your children resolve conflict without aggression or violence.

Helpful Resources:

• Common Sense Media: The leading nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world full of media and technology. Includes tips for talking with children about virtual violence, answers to frequently asked questions for children of all ages and more information about the impact of virtual violence on child behavior.

• Healthy Children.org: The parent-friendly website of the American Academy of Pediatrics which is an organization of more than 66,000 pediatricians committed to the well-being of children. On this page parents will find more information about how virtual violence impacts children’s behavior and recommendations for parents.

• Common Sense Media Reviews: Check out this section of the Common Sense Media website for impartial reviews of titles across all types of media (games, TV shows, movies, apps, websites etc). Includes recommendations by age and brief summaries of topics and themes that children will be exposed to for each title. Over 28,000 titles have been reviewed.

Understanding Depression

Signs and Symptoms of Depression:

While no two cases of depression are ever the same, if your child is experiencing several of these symptoms for an extended period of time (more than 2 weeks), and the symptoms are severe enough to disrupt his or her daily life you might want to consider reaching out for help:

• Sadness, anxiety, or feeling “empty” of any mood

• Feelings of hopelessness

• Feelings of pessimism, expecting only bad things to occur

• Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyed hobbies and activities

• Neglecting care of oneself, such as not bathing, grooming, or eating

• Fatigue or decreased energy level, moving or speaking slowly

• Irritability

• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

• Restlessness or having trouble sitting still

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

• Difficulty following through with tasks, being unable to perform well at work, or ineffective parenting

• Increase in pain sensitivity

• Difficulty sleeping, waking very early in the morning, or sleeping more than usual

• Increased or decreased appetite, large changes in the body weight

• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause or that do not ease even with targeted treatment

• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts

General Advice:

Some activities and ways of thinking can support children in recovering from depression and even help some children from developing symptoms in the first place:

• Regular physical activity

• Healthy dietary choices including limiting sugary and high-fat foods

• Getting enough restful sleep on regular basis

• Recognizing and being thankful for aspects of one’s life

• Supportive social and family interactions

• Recognizing a purpose to one’s life

• Spiritual involvement

• Being connected within a community

• Involvement in activities that the child sees as meaningful

Treatment Options:

1. Pediatrician: It is always a good idea to schedule an appointment with your child's pediatrician if you have concerns about mental health including depression. A trusted pediatrician can help everyone understand mental health and discuss various options. Many pediatricians in Staten Island now offer integrated mental health services so children may even be able to receive treatment right in the pediatrician’s office without having to visit another location.

2. Outpatient Mental Health: Outpatient mental health services include psychotherapy (aka “talk therapy”) and medications that help restore normal chemistry in the brain. Sometimes psychotherapy and medications are used together to treat depression. Psychotherapy can be delivered in a variety of settings ranging from home-offices to larger agencies. One of the advantages of a larger agency is the availability of on-site physicians who are able to prescribe medication and work in collaboration with psychotherapy providers. The Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Service (aka “The Jewish Board”) is a large mental health agency with offices in Staten Island where children can receive psychotherapy and medication together if needed. Parents can schedule an initial session by calling 844-ONE-CALL (844-663-3355).

3. NYC Well: This is a free resource available 24 hours a day 7 days a week provided by the New York City Department of Health to support the mental health of all New Yorkers. Parents can chat with a professional to get referral information for mental health services and access in-home support in the event of a crisis. Call 1-888-NYCWELL, Text “well” to 65173 or visit the NYC Well website at nyc.gov/nycwell to chat with a live representative.

4. A trusted adult at the school: Parents can always reach out to any trusted adult at the school with question about their child’s mental health and wellbeing including concerns about depression. School staff can help parents connect with treatment resources that suit the family’s unique situation and preferences.

Social Media and Internet Safety

Helpful Resources

Common Sense Education: The leading nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world full of media and technology. Parent resources include media ratings, discussion guides and a comprehensive parent toolbox with materials that can be used to help set limits on screen time and support safe online behavior.

Child Mind Institute: National nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting children with learning disabilities and mental health issues. Parents can find answers to many common questions about technology use such as how much screen time is healthy, and when should kids get their own cell phone, along with advice for how to avoid letting technology and screen time weaken family bonds.

New York City Department of Education: Social Media information page from the NYC DOE about social media. Includes information about the definition of social media, how to post responsibly on social media, and information about cyberbullying. Includes information for students and parents.

General Advice

Discuss responsible online behavior: Establish rules for appropriate use across all of the technology your child uses, especially with respect to posting on social media and sharing images in social media and messing apps. Make it clear that there could be legal consequences to posting or sharing explicit photos. Children should understand that rules are for their own safety.

- Establish rules for who’s ok to talk to: Children should know that it is not ok to chat with strangers online and to never share personal information with a stranger online.

- Remain open and willing to talk: Encourage your child to speak to you or any trusted adult if anything uncomfortable happens online or with social media. One way to encourage communication is to resist the impulse to limit or restrict access to technology when your child breaks a rule or does something that may be inappropriate with technology because these consequences will encourage most children to cover their tracks in the future.

- Look for warning signs: If you child’s behavior suddenly becomes withdrawn, or emotionally distant or if your child spend endless hours online or seems to be hiding something that could indicate that they are facing challenges online.

- Limit technology use during homework: Keep in mind that smartphones and apps are designed to grab our attention and keep our eyeballs on the screen. Children need to focus their thoughts on their schoolwork during homework time in order to think deeply and get the most out of their studies.

- Resist the temptation to use technology as a reward or punishment: Even though technology might be a powerful reward for your child taking it away as a consequence or requiring him or her to earn screen time could make technology more desirable and even lead to addiction-like obsessions later in life

- Encourage other activities: One of the best ways to get children to spend less time with technology is to increase access to other activities like physical activity, playing sports, reading books, playing board games, and doing art projects.

-Be prepared for difficult conversations: Even with parental controls and smart filters children are likely to encounter all kinds of content online and this can lead to questions about things like substance use and sex.

Advice for Tweens and teens (12+)

-Keep modeling good tech behavior. It’s easy to let things slide once kids are older and have their own devices, but remember that the old rules still apply. Don’t use your phone at the table and make sure your kids don’t need to compete with a screen for your attention. Besides setting a good example, this shows them that you care and are interested, which makes them more likely to open up. Even though they’re getting older, your kids still need to talk to you, not just their friends.

– Encourage privacy. Once kids have turned 13 they are allowed to get an account on Facebook and most other social media websites and apps (some kids cheat and get them earlier). Whatever age your family decides is appropriate for social media, make sure that your child is very careful about privacy. Research privacy settings with her and make sure she understands when something is public or private — or somewhere in the middle — and how that should affect what she posts. As a general rule, she shouldn’t share anything online that she wouldn’t be comfortable with the entire world reading. Including her grandmother.

– Yes to friending, no to spying. If your child is on social media, developmental psychologist Donna Wick of Mind to Mind Parent recommends that you follow or friend him, and monitor his page. But she advises against going through text messages unless there is cause for concern: “If you have a reason to be worried then okay, but it better be a good reason,” she says. “I see parents who are just plain old spying on their kids. Parents should begin by trusting their children. To not even give your kid the benefit of the doubt is incredibly damaging to the relationship. You have to feel like your parents think you’re a good kid.”

– Make it clear that naked pictures are a bad idea (and explain why).Sometimes kids think sharing photos is a way to build trust, but it can do the opposite just as easily. Your daughter might trust her boyfriend with her photos but he, in turn, might trust a close friend, and so on. Or she might trust him to delete the photos, but later finds out that he kept them on his phone, and people found them when they were scrolling through his pictures. These are some innocent ways the pictures could get into the wrong hands — there are a lot of less innocent ways they could, too. And once the pictures are out there, they can damage future relationships and job prospects, not to mention become the talk of the school.

Also, in case your kid doesn’t know, if she is a minor, sharing naked pictures can get her and whoever she’s sending them to in a lot of trouble for child porn, which is really not something she wants to mess with. Click here for more on talking to kids about sexting.

– Texting can be tricky. Warn kids that it’s easy for people to misinterpret messages when they aren’t hearing the tone of your voice or seeing the expression on your face. Jokes, in particular, might seem mean. To guard against misunderstandings and hurt feelings, it’s always a good idea to make it clear when you’re joking.

Substance Abuse

Adult alcohol use is one area where this fact could not be more important. For this reason we are informing parents that when children observe their parents consuming alcohol they are become more likely to consume alcohol themselves. More importantly when children consume alcohol at a young age they are more likely to develop substance abuse disorders later in life. The dangers of alcohol and substance use are extremely important to everyone at the school and for that reason we devoted an entire Professional Development session to educating our staff about youth substance use earlier this year. Please take a moment to visit the mental health corner on the school website to find additional information including signs your child may be using, tips to help communicate and links to local resources where you can learn more and get help.

Signs your child may be using:

• Declining school work and grades

• Abrupt changes in friends, groups or behavior

• Sleeping habits/abnormal health issues

• Deteriorating relationships with family

• Less openness and honesty

Tips to help Communicate:

• Clearly communicate the risks

• Express your disapproval

• Use “teachable moments”

• Frequently talk AND LISTEN to your kids about how things are going in their lives

• Even if you used drugs or alcohol in the past, don’t be afraid to talk

Helpful Resources:

• Partnership for Drug-Free Kids: National, non-profit organization that supports parents deal with the challenges of youth substance use. Includes strategies for talking with your children about drugs and alcohol and a hotline where parents can speak to a trained specialist to develop an action plan for their family.

• Tackling Youth Substance Abuse (TYSA): Tackling Youth Substance Abuse (TYSA) is a coalition of STATEN ISLAND people and organizations who have come together with a mission to decrease youth substance misuse on Staten Island. It is a dynamic partnership of both private and non-profit organizations; city and state government agencies; philanthropists; parents, teachers and teens, many of who have been working to combat alcohol and drug misuse for years. Visit their website for more information and to get involved.

• Staten Island Drug Prevention: The comprehensive substance use prevention dashboard for STATEN ISLAND. Includes current data about the opioid crisis in Staten Island, provider directories, information about current initiatives on the island and additional resources.

Mental Health Month

May is Mental Health Month! Since 1949 Mental Health America has led the country’s observance of Mental Health Month in May, this year’s theme is Risky Business. Parents are encouraged to pause for a few minutes this month to think about their own habits and behaviors that might increase their risk of developing a mental health condition. Some things to consider include alcohol and substance use, internet and TV time, financial concerns, levels of physical activity, and sleep patterns. Parents may also take time to observe for signs that their child may be at risk for developing a mental health issue. Please visit the school website for 7 signs to look for, helpful community resources and additional information about mental health. As always, parents are welcome to reach out to a trusted adult at the school with any concerns about their child’s mental health and emotional wellbeing.

Mental Health by the Numbers:

· Approximately 1 in 5 youth aged 13–18 (21.4%) experiences a severe mental disorder at some point during their life.

· Approximately 13% of children aged 8–15 experiences a severe mental disorder at some point during their life.

· Half of all chronic mental illness begins by age 14.

· Mood disorders, including major depression, and bipolar disorder, are the third most common cause of youth hospitalization in the U.S.

· Just over half (50.6%) of children aged 8-15 received mental health services in the previous year.

· Children who receive treatment for mental health issues are much more likely to succeed in school and beyond

Seven Child Mental Health Warning Signs:

· Feeling sad or withdrawn for 2 weeks or more

· Out-of-control risk taking behaviors that can cause harm to self or others

· Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing

· Severe mood swings that cause problems with relationships

· Drastic changes in behavior, personality or sleeping habits

· Extreme difficulty concentrating or staying still

· Intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities

Helpful Community Resources:

· NYC Well: This is a free resource available 24 hours a day 7 days a week provided by the New York City Department of Health to support the mental health of all New Yorkers. Parents or teens can chat with a professional to get recommendations for “self-help” techniques and referrals for mental health services. Call 1-888-NYCWELL, Text “well” to 65173 or visit the NYC Well website at nyc.gov/nycwell to chat with a live representative .

· Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services: Offers a range of mental health programs including individual and group counseling services for children as young as 5 years old. Services are designed to empower parents and children to live happier and healthier lives. Several programs are available to address a variety of mental health issues including anxiety, sensory processing, communication, anger, poor relationships, oppositional defiance and attention issues. Clinic locations throughout the city, including Staten Island, but parents have to call 1-844-ONE-CALL (844-663-2255) to get started.

· Pediatrician: Your child’s pediatrician knows your child medical history and can direct you to a trusted mental health practitioner who is appropriate for your specific situation. Pediatricians receive new information about how to identify and treat mental health issues all the time, so do not hesitate to ask for assistance this month even if your child’s pediatrician has not been able to help in the past.

Autism Awareness Month

What is autism? Technically speaking, autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across a variety of settings. Children must also display some kind of restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests or activities. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means that no two children with autism have the same symptoms. Some children with autism have strong language skills and struggle with the nuances of communication like jokes and idioms, whereas other children with autism are completely non-verbal. In the area of behavior, some children with autism have extreme sensitivity to sensory stimulation like loud noises or bright lights whereas other children with autism do not react at all to sensory stimulation. The important thing to keep in mind is that no two children with autism are alike and an approach that works great with one individual is not guaranteed to work with another individual.

More information:

• About 1 in 68 children in the United States has been identified with autism according to estimates from Center for Disease Control (CDC).

• The CDC estimate of the number of children with autism in the United States was 1:150 as recently as 2006 making autism one of the fastest growing childhood mental health conditions.

• The number of children identified with autism varies from region to region, with the estimated prevalence in the Northeast being greater than the nationwide estimate.

• ASD is reported to occur in all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups and in all countries throughout the world.

• ASD is about 4.5 times more common among boys (1 in 42) than among girls (1 in 189).

• Early identification and early treatment is important for treatment to be effective, however all individuals with autism make improvements in functioning and behaviors regardless of age.

Autism awareness events (Click through for more information):

• Dine Out for Autism: Special menu items and other promotions at local restaurants with proceeds going to local non-profits that support children and families with autism.

• Chuck E. Cheese Sensory Sensitive Sundays: Chuck E. Cheese offers a sensory friendly experience on the first Sunday of every month. Special features include less crowding, reduced noise, and specially trained and caring staff.

• Annual Spring Egg-Stravaganza: Easter bunny, egg patch, dancing and more, for children with autism and their families. Saturday, April 8 12:00pm-2:00pm. Hosted by Autism Warriors.

Helpful parent resources (click through for more information):

• Autism Speaks: Nonprofit organization dedicated to enhancing the lives of people currently living with autism and their families while supporting the development of permanent, long-term solutions for the condition. Website includes searchable parent resource guide with listings for diagnosis, health services, behavioral therapy etc.

• Five Tips that Helped Improve my Child’s Behavior: Simple and easy-to-follow recommendations written by a parent of two children with autism. Topics include focusing on time and using timers, how to use first/then statements, rewarding positive behavior, focusing on what you want your child to do, and how to remain calm during meltdowns.

• Behavioral Health Treatment: Did you know that New York State passed a law in 2011 that requires health insurance companies to pay for autism diagnosis and treatment? This means that families can access behavioral health treatment including up to 680 hours per year of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) through their health insurance. Call your insurance company to find out about your plan’s in-network providers or reach out to the school for information about Staten Island behavioral health organizations that provide treatment for autism.

Helping your children understand and deal with stress

What is stress? When people talk about stress they are usually referring to the unpleasant feeling that comes along when the body responds to demands. When that feeling is too strong, or when the demands are too large we start to feel stressed. Scientists have identified at least 3 different types of stress:

• “Routine stress” which relates to the pressure of school work, classes, relationships, and daily responsibilities

• “Change stress” is stress that is brought on by a sudden or unexpected negative change like losing a job or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

• “Traumatic stress” is experienced in an event like a major accident, assault or natural disaster where people are in danger of being seriously hurt.

Is stress harmful? Not all stress is bad. In fact, stress can motivate children to prepare for an exam or perform well in a challenging situation. The physiological changes associated with stress (increased blood flow, faster breathing etc) can even be life-saving in some situations. However, health problems can occur if stress goes on for too long or becomes chronic. While everyone experiences stress differently, some examples of physical symptoms associated with prolonged or chronic stress include headaches, sleeplessness, reduced energy, changes in appetite, gastrointestinal issues, irritability and emotional changes. Overtime these symptoms can lead to serious health problems like high blood pressure, diabetes and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

How can children deal with stress? The good news is that scientists and mental health professionals have been studying stress for decades and several “self-help” techniques have been developed and proven over time. Here are five techniques you can try with your children:

1. Recognize the signs: The first step to deal with stress is understanding what causes stress and how stress effects the body. Just sharing the above information with your child can help.

2. Get regular exercise: Just 30 minutes per day of moderate physical activity, even walking, can reduce stress and increase energy levels.

4. Set achievable goals: With this technique, sometimes called “chunking”, children to break down large tasks into smaller units helping to relive overwhelming feelings.

5. Listen to you children: Parents should always encourage their children to talk to them when they feel stressed. Just talking about stress can improve feelings and this technique also allows parents to monitor for more severe issues.

Should I seek professional help? Parents should always call emergency services right away if children express thoughts of suicide. Other signs that it is time to seek professional support include: a constant overwhelming feeling, children using drugs or alcohol to escape from stress, or when stress interferes with daily activities like attending school, maintaining friendships or completing assignments. See below for professional resources to help children manage and deal with stress

Professional Resources:

• Talk to your child’s pediatrician: In many cases a little practical advice from a trusted professional can make a big difference. Most pediatricians can refer your child to a mental health professional for additional support if needed.

• NYC Well: This is a free resource provided by New York City to support the mental health of all New Yorkers. Parents or children can chat with a professional to get recommendations for additional “self-help” techniques and referrals for mental health services. Call 1-888-NYCWELL, Text “well” to 65173 or visit the NYC Well website at nyc.gov/nycwell.

• Open Access Mental Health: Two agencies in Staten Island offer programs where children can walk in and see a mental health clinician after completing a simple pre-registration process. Speak to your child’s guidance counselor or any trusted adult in the school for more information.