Simulation

I wait.

It could take years. My hollow shell of a life surrounds me with the beauty of a thousand other of my possible lives, like the monstrous being it is. Did I want a second chance…? No. No, I didn’t, because instead of wishing for something better, I spent my whole life pondering over the fact that I shouldn’t wish for something better. Because those days are over. Now I scream because I can, because no one will hear me in this brittle box. It will only get smaller until I accept who I am, they say. It’s easier to give in to being human than to escape from it. I’ll never believe that. They can lock me up as long as they want and still, I wait.

Now I am in another hallway. They won’t ever stop putting me from simulation to simulation. I simply scream again, because they’ll never understand me. I am upside-down now. They think it’s rage and sadness. Except it’s not. It’s a fragile melancholy that grips onto me when I need it to. A tool; one that will wreck me from my insides until I can claw at the walls again. I’ll prove to them I am more than a conduit for emotion. Not today.

But

I

Wait