• Autism and other neurological variations (learning disabilities, ADHD, etc.) may be disabilities, but they are not flaws. People with neurological differences are not broken or incomplete versions of normal people.

• Disability, no matter how profound, does not diminish personhood. People with atypical brains are fully human, with inalienable human rights, just like everyone else. 

• People with disabilities can live rich, meaningful lives. 

• Neurological variations are a vital part of humanity, as much as variations in size, shape, skin color and personality. None of us has the right (or the wisdom) to try and improve upon our species by deciding which characteristics to keep and which to discard. Every person is valuable.

• Disability is a complicated thing. Often, it’s defined more by society’s expectations than by individual conditions. Not always, but often.

(Clearing Up Some Misconceptions about Neurodiversity, Scientific American) 

When you think of the way children with neurodiversity are taught and raised the emphasis is often on skills that will help them fit in. 

I know that because I am fairly good at masking I have had an easier time than those who can't or don't. As I am getting older and more self aware I am realizing that it takes WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY to maintain, so it's a waste of energy.

This means that at times I am a weirdo 

One day while meeting with my principal I was having a really hard time focusing. It occured to me what the issue was..my socks were two different thicknesses, I felt lopsided. I of course blurted out that I needed to go change my socks.

For the most part I can't talk on the phone. I am so resistant to the whole idea that my voice mail encourages people to scream into the void becaue I don't check my messages.

 I think it's because I rely so heavily on social cues and micro expressions to know how to respond or stop talking. If I know someone well, then I can manage on the phone because I can visualize how they might respond. I hate saying too much, but as bad as I am in person, I am far worse on the phone. 

Rather than forcing myself to do things that impact my mental health and sense of self in a negative way I have started to just be me, and I allow my students the same. In my classroom I spend  time teaching and modeling how the neurotypical kids can respond to make the neurodiverse kids feel comfortable ..and the research is beginning to show what many of us have long understood,  that maybe individuals who are not neurodiverse don't quite understand the experience of those who are neurodiverse and it's time to see there is more than one way to look at and see the world. 

"Studies are finally confirming what autistic people have said for decades: we get better outcomes when it’s the caregivers rather than the children who are taught to behave differently" Erica King, Rowan University.

and yet...or perhaps still....the focus is on helping, encouraging, requiring those who are Neurodiverse to modify their response and behavior to make Neurotypical individuals more comfortable. The choice is a personal one but what according to an article in Psychology Today "Is Autistic Camouflaging Really Bad for Your Health?"  the drawbacks worth considering. I know some of these ring true for me. 

The following points are taken directly from the article.

Lack of Self-Acceptance.

When you start from the perspective that you need to downplay your personality and express yourself in a way which isn’t authentic, you may develop a lack of self-acceptance and self-worth. You (and others) may see yourself as not just "shy," but too shy. You're not just “direct”; you’re too direct. You’re not just enthusiastic, you're too enthusiastic. Too tantrummy, too obsessive, too blunt, too sensitive—the list goes on

Suppressing interests and making inauthentic choices.

Judging yourself as unacceptable because you’re a bit different from many other people goes far beyond learning a few social skills. It means that you stop listening to and recognising what you need to feel fulfilled in life.

Mental health issues 

Camouflaging has been linked to mental health issues including depression, anxiety,3 and suicidality.4 Research has shown that mental health issues tend to be related to the degree of masking a person engages in, rather than the severity of their autism.5 Consistently having to check in with yourself as to whether you’re following the script, acting in an appropriate way, and whether you’re about to say or do something wrong creates a huge amount of pressure and, consequently anxiety. Feeling that you’re unacceptable as you are can lead to low self-esteem and depression.

Seeking help.

Women with autism often find it hard to seek out help, partly because they present as so “normal.”6 Primary caregivers may refuse to accept that they have a problem and may say things like, “But you’re having a conversation and looking into my eyes—that doesn’t seem like autism.” Having become so adept at camouflaging, it’s difficult to convey to others that yes, you do have issues with communication and other aspects of life—you’re just very good at hiding them.

Loss of a sense of self.

When you’re constantly trying to be all things to all people, you can experience a loss of a sense of self in the process. Camouflaging can lead to identity problems and an inability to know what it is you want from life and how to create a life which feels authentic.