Do a Life Audit - How are You Budgeting.....well....everything
Do a Life Audit - How are You Budgeting.....well....everything
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When I feel overwhelmed i find it helpful to do an audit....
What am I spending my time, my money, my energy on?
Which is the most importatnt right now?
What can I change to support this?
As a result - I hired someone to clean my house once a month. I use instacart for almost all grocery and even emergency craft purchases because my time and energy are more valuable to me than money.
I also have unstable health - so I have a rule that when i can I do so that when I can't I dont feel as guilty. This is another reason why front loading and preparing are so important to me.
The After School Restraint Collapse
The After School Restraint Collapse
When our students hold it together all day, they often experience after school restraint collapse when they get home...and I would argue that teachers experience this too.
For me it presents as no patience with my kid, a need to be alone to decompress, feeling unsettled and unable to do anything that feels productive, overwhelmed by simple decisions like what to make for dinner, and general overreactions to everything.
September is rough...but by the middle of October I am usually more settled and my tolerance has increased enough that it doesnt derail my evenings.
How to Cope:
Check for the basics:
Are you hungry, thirsty, tired, - think Maslow .... are your basic needs for safety and sustenance met....
Have a Snack
Drink Some Water
Have a Nap
Turn off Notifications and Ringers on your Phone
Pro Tip: What to Make for Dinner - don't leave that decision for when you get home from work
If dinner prep is the issue - I highly recommend meal prep delivery services such as Hello Fresh and Chef's Plate. There is something about just having to grab a bag of ingredients out of the fridge that makes it mentally easier to get dinner made...and the food tastes like I actually am a good cook.
With the cost of groceries I am finding that this is NOT a more expensive option. All the ingredients are provided and the portions are reasonable..although I order 2 for my teenager.
Pro Tip: Grocery Delivery Services
Instacart and Voila are amazing time savers...and money savers because you don't have the temptations of products not on your list.
2. Roll with it:
Once an individual has left the country of big emotions and overwhelm for the country of meltdown...well...there isn't much to be done except ride it out.
We know that once the Amygdala is engaged and individuals are overstimulated they are reacting without access to all parts of their brain. Cognition is traded for instinct and reaction.
What rolling with it looks like for me:
Isolate myself until i calm down:
I go to my room and shut the door...this means that I need to be left alone until I feel I can engage in a positive way with my family. I will crochet and watch soothing True Crime shows and give my TPS (thoughts per second) time to slow down, or my brain time to process what I am feeling.
Change Environments and Get Moving
Going for a walk also helps. I process better when i am moving. I also behave better in public. If I can walk with someone that is even better...then I can just empty my brain verbally
Rely on Routines
I have routines that really help because with overwhelm comes the inability to make decisions. The daily "What to Make for Dinner?" question can be the final straw.
I have checklists and visuals for my son - but they also help me.
We rely on google to remind us of things as well
Plan Ahead
I also front load my preparation knowing that when I get home from work I am in no mood to deal with my son only have 3 left shoes, or searching and finding his shin pads in the fridge....
I do as much as I can the night before.
I choose my clothes
I make sure winter gear is ready for the morning
I pack our bags.I have bags for every activity...one for church, one for soccer, one for work, etc
put things by the door where I will trip over them.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Communicate clearly with those you live with. I am blessed that my partner thinks my hyperfocus and neurotypical quicks are adorable....so I highly reccomend choosing a romantic partner that gets you..and loves the weirdest parts of you.
We do a 10 second check in...How are we feeling phyically, emotionally, mentally, out of 10 with a quick explanation. My partner doesn't like to discuss work ad nauseum...so I save my work debrief for my social media and other friends. Knowing what your partner can realistically give you is important to. I need to respect his needs as well.
Recently my Prinicipal said to me "You can set boundaries and put your foot down without damaging relationship" and I feel this...and yet it is something I struggle with. Admittedly I negotiate everything and my boundaries are like screen doors...it's a work in progress.
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