If you are living it......

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and also torn. Maybe you’re still hoping that your situation will change? Tomorrow things will be better? or maybe you’re afraid of how your partner will react if it's discovered that you’re trying to leave the relationship?

One moment, you may desperately want to get away, and the next, you may want to hang on in there for the sake of your children and the upset you may cause. Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. 

Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame the only thing that matters is your safety and wellbeing.

If you are being abused, remember:

You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.

You are not the cause of your partner's abusive behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

You deserve a safe and happy life.

Your children deserve a safe and happy life.

You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

If you have lived it......

If you have experienced domestic abuse in a previous relationship, firstly we would like to say that although we may not yet know you, we admire you.  We admire you for being the understanding, empathetic beautiful individual that you are (which sadly, in the wrong hands, got you into the crazy circus that you have previously encountered).  And we admire you for escaping such a toxic environment - we truly know how hard this can be.

Following your initial high and the feeling of relief from escaping the relationship, you may then begin the process of  self realisation and the impact that living in trauma has had on you. 

All kinds of surreal situations and outbursts will have taken place during your time with an abuser. These situations will almost always, have had some affect on you. Your self belief, your nervous system, your thought process and your 'fight or flight' triggers are to name but a few. 

What you knew to be a 'normal life', is not a normal life. And now normal life feels unfamiliar territory and life can feel out of control. 

You are not alone. We are waiting to help.

If you have lived it and continue to via 'post separation' abuse.

If you have escaped a toxic relationship, or even been discarded, the perpetrator can often continue their campaign of abuse until another 'supply' is found. And sadly even then, the abuser may still attempt to control, stalk, intimidate and / or belittle you. 

This can especially be the case when biological children involved. 

In this situation the abuser will often use Family Court as a means to control, manipulate and further abuse the victim, giving no consideration to the wellbeing of the children involved.

You are not alone. We are waiting to help.