Managing Strong Emotions and Promoting Wellness

This page offers a variety of resources that caregivers can use to help their children work through, manage, and reduce strong negative feelings.

Expressing Strong Feelings

Although some children will be able to communicate strong feelings with words, others will communicate with their behavior. Below we offer some examples of behavior that may be reflective of underlying distress. Importantly, it is critical that we provide support to children when they are experiencing distress, regardless if they communicate using their words or their behavior.


Coping Skills

Learning to handle, manage, and reduce strong feelings is a developmental skill that we all practice throughout our lives. We offer some healthy coping strategies below that children and teens can use at home. As children are practicing these skills, remind them they are not always meant to solve or change the challenge they are experiencing. Instead, these skills are designed to make them feel less anxious, less angry, or less sad right now. And by feeling these emotions less intensely, they will be better able to make safe and healthy decisions. Finally, remind children that they may need to use a variety of skills/activities before feeling better.

Active/Creative Coping Skills

  • Going for a walk

  • Moderate to intense exercise

  • Dancing

  • Playing sports

  • Riding a bike

  • Squeezing a stress ball

  • Engaging in art

  • Writing

  • Playing music

  • Journaling

  • Building with legos/art materials

  • Sensory play/activities (e.g., playing with different textures)

Relaxing Coping Skills

  • Taking a shower or bath

  • Listening to calm music

  • Deep breathing

  • Progressive muscle relaxation

  • Meditation/Mindfulness activities

  • Drinking a hot or cold beverage

  • Closing your eyes and counting backward

  • Reading a book or magazine

  • Hugging a stuffed animal

  • Sitting in your favorite place

  • Blowing bubbles

  • Thinking of a calm/happy place

Cognitive Coping Skills

  • Thinking of something positive

  • Focusing on 1 thing you are grateful for

  • Thinking about something you are looking forward to

  • Focusing on the present moment (grounding)

  • Thinking about happy/positive experiences

  • Focus on things that you can control.

  • Practice reframing negative/unhelpful thoughts

  • Think about something that makes you laugh/happy

Social Coping Strategies

  • Playing a game with a family member or friend

  • Calling or talking to a friend

  • Cuddling or playing with a pet

  • Volunteering

  • Sharing your feelings with someone you trust

  • Going outside and being around other people

  • Making something for someone you care about




Managing Anxiety Podcast sponsored by CHADD featuring Craig Surman, MD (29 min)


In this podcast, Dr. Craig Bruce Surman offers expert advice on how to identify and manage anxious feelings and thoughts. He provides tools to manage anxiety for parents and children, including a guided relaxation meditation.


Parenting During COVID-19: A Guide to Managing (Child) Anxiety Webinar

Presented by BU’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD)

Parenting can be difficult, but parenting during a pandemic presents a whole new set of challenges. With this in mind, this webinar was developed by CARD to provide parents and other caregivers tools to help support child emotional health and well-being during this period of coronavirus-related social distancing and beyond. These are the Slides that accompanied the webinar.


Managing Depression and Anxiety v.3 copy.mov

Managing Depression and Anxiety at Home

This webinar was developed by Bridge for Resilient Youth in Transition (BRYT) a program of the Brookline Center for Community Mental Health.

It discusses how current symptoms of depression and anxiety may actually be a reaction to the loss and grief we are all feeling during this pandemic. The hosts also discuss how validation can be a powerful tool in staying connected to your child and loved ones.


Sponsored by NJCTS (NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders, Inc.). The webinar addresses anxiety and is not specific to children diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. (1hr, 23 min)


BU CARD: Coping Clips Library

The Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders offers a series of short clips to help children and adolescents navigate strong feelings.



Movement

Like adults, kids need exercise. Most children need at least an hour of physical activity every day. Research has found that regular exercise has many benefits for children, including:

  • Feeling less stressed

  • Feeling better about themselves

  • Feeling more ready to learn in school

  • Maintaining a healthy weight for the height

  • Building and keep healthy bones, muscles, and joints

  • Sleeping better at night

There are a variety of websites and resources that can help support movement and exercise for children and caregivers. Two popular resources are GoNoodle and Cosmic Kids Yoga


Sleep

Below are some helpful sleep hygiene tips for children and adolescents. It is important that children and teens understand that not getting enough sleep can impact their mood, their ability to focus, and their ability to do well in school.


  • One of the best ways to train your body to sleep is to go to bed and get up at the same time every day (including non-school days).


  • Develop a 30 to 60-minute “bedtime routine” that you do every night. As part of this routine, avoid screens!


  • Take a hot shower or bath about an hour before bed. The water will raise your body temperature and you will feel drowsy when your temperature drops.


  • When you are ready to go to sleep, make your room dark, quiet, and comfortable. A cooler environment (lower than 75 degrees) with warm blankets is best.


  • Don’t go to bed hungry; but don’t eat a big meal before bed either.


  • If you haven’t been able to get to sleep after 20 minutes, get up and do something calming (like reading a book or listening to music).

    • Don’t play with your phone or watch TV!


  • Avoid caffeine for at least 4 to 6 hours before bed.


  • Only use your bed for sleeping. If you watch TV, read, or do homework in your bed, your body will not learn the connection between your bed and sleeping.


  • If you can, try to avoid naps. If you need to nap, take one 20-minute nap before 4pm. Naps longer than 20 minutes will make it harder for you to sleep at night.


  • Exercise regularly, but not in the 4 hours before bedtime


Helpful Links and Resources

The following are curated resources from the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine




  • Headspace: This website from Australia has a wealth of resources and videos for parents and caregivers of young adults age 12-25 years who have mental health concerns. http://headspace.org.au/family/


  • HealthlyChildren.Org: Sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics, this website provides a wide-range of resources for parents of teens and young adults. https://www.healthychildren.org


  • Jed Foundation: Promoting emotional health and prevent suicide among college students, this website provides resources, including Transition Year, that are designed to help parents recognize the signs of a mental health problems and help their child’s transition to college. http://www.jedfoundation.org/parents


  • Kelty Mental Health Resource Center: Numerous resources for parents and caregivers can be found at this website including a resource library and family toolkit. http://keltymentalhealth.ca/family


  • National Institute of Mental Health: Working to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses, NIMA’s website provides guides and brochures directed at parents. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/


  • Teen Health: This website helps parents care for their child’s ups and downs, from dealing with divorce to preparing for new siblings. Also provides information on how to understand your child’s behavior, whether it’s toddler tantrums or teenage depression. http://teenshealth.org/parent/emotions/


  • Teen Mental Health: Geared towards teenagers, this website provides learning tools on a variety of mental illnesses, videos, and resources for parents and caregivers. http://teenmentalhealth.org/care/parents/