Sexual Health
Defining authentic love
'God is love' (1 Jn 4:8) and this total self giving love of God is a calling for all people to imitate this love. 'The more a person loves, the more they resemble God' (YouCat #402).
What is Love?
Love is 'willing the good of the other' (CCC 1766). It is in God's nature to always 'will' the good of us. We are called by God to be a true self gift to others and always put their best interests first, which ultimately is to help them experience God's love and care.
What is the opposite to love?
The opposite to love is not hate. The opposite to love is to 'use' someone. Objects are to be used. Persons are to be loved and cherished and never used as each person has infinite worth, being a child of God.
Characteristics of God's love
God has revealed his infinite love for us, which we can, see and experience, in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus’ love for us is perfect and has four characteristics:
- Total Love: ‘Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend’ (Jn 15:13)
- Free Love: I lay down my life..No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord’ (Jn 10:18)
- Fruitful Love: I came that they might have life, and have it more abundantly’ (Jn 10:10)
- Faithful Love: ‘I am with you always to the close of the age’ (Mt 28:20)
(Pope St John Paul II, Love and Responsibility, 29)
Sexual Union
We are all called by God to love everyone self sacrificially. 'In every true friendship there is love' (YouCat #402), which images God. God's love for us is total, free, faithful and fruitful and this amazing self giving love is asked of husband and wife in the sacrament of marriage. The sacrament of marriage also makes available the supernatural grace to love each other unconditionally. The wedding vows that a husband and wife promise to each other is the best human analogy of the love from God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Wedding Vows:
Free and Total: Have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?
Faithful: Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?
Fruitful: Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up to keep the law of Christ and his Church?
God's permanent love for each person is the calling of a permanent love between husband and wife. The sacrament of marriage establishes a supernatural bond between the couple, 'they are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh' (CCC 2364). The free giving of themselves to one another in the sacrament of marriage, seals the marriage and makes it indissoluble, 'what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder' (Mk, 10:9).
God's Purpose for Sexual Union
Sexuality is designed by God to be connected to love and life (CCC 2360, 2363).
All people experience desires and passions. These desires and passions are created by God and ultimately can only be satisfied by union with God. Our sexual desires are not bad in themselves, but are created by God for the purpose of sexual union between husband and wife in marriage (CCC 2360). Sexual union or marital union as its known is the most intimate expression of love between two people and only make sense in marriage, as this holy expression of love is a renewing of the marriage vows which promises a love which is free, total, faithful and fruitful. Therefore the marital act of husband and wife, is designed by God to be unitive (loving one flesh union) and procreative (open to children) (CCC 2364). These two fundamental features, are designed by God, to be connected and never separated.
The sexual act is an expression of intimate love which speaks of a love which is free (free choice by the couple), total (total everlasting commitment by couple, holding nothing back from each other), faithful (couple promises to be faithful always to each other and each other’s best interests) and fruitful (couple are open to life in this holy intimate act). These four elements of God’s love for us, can really only be expressed authentically, in the sexual act, when it is between husband and wife in marriage.
Video: Discussing the lasting love of marriage
Video: What is marriage and its purpose?
God’s grand design: The human body
Humans hold a special place in creation as only they are made in God’s image and likeness (CCC 355). In God’s grand design, he created each person as male or female (Gen 5:2) and created the sexes so that they are equal in dignity, however different and complimentary on many different levels such as physical, moral, physiological and spiritual (CCC 2333). Families and societies depend on the complementary nature of males and females, to function successfully (CCC 2333).
God has stamped into the human body a design which points to union and life. ‘The body, in fact, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine’ (St John Paul II, TOB 19:4). It is through our bodies which we can imitate God, through our love, service to others, generosity and hard work. A more profound way which humans can image the divine love between God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is through the union of husband and wife in their self- giving fruitful love (YouCat #402).
The male and female body make no sense by themselves, but the male and female body make perfect sense when they come together in sexual union and its God’s design that life can be generated by that loving self giving act. ‘The difference between man and woman is… for communion and procreation, always in the image and likeness of God’ (Pope Francis, April 15, 2015).
Living a chaste life: What makes us truly happy
We are all created for God, who is ‘love’ (1 Jn 4:8) and in life we strive to ‘live for love and be loved’ (Pope Benedict XVI, June 7, 2009). Chastity is the calling for everyone to love authentically and be a true self -gift to others in every stage of life. Single people, married couples, priests and consecrated religious are all called to live a chaste life. Living chastely is to be truly free and not a slave to ones sexual drives and emotions (YouCat # 405). To be truly free and to love properly, self -discipline and prayer is a must to living a chaste life.
Pre Marital Sex
Sexual union is the intimate expression of love, which is total, free, faithful and fruitful (which is promised in the four wedding vows). ‘To give your body to another person symbolizes the total gift of yourself to that person’ (St John Paul II, February 6, 1993) and this is total everlasting commitment is promised only in the wedding vows. Sexual union is a holy act and is not designed to communicate a message of ‘I love you temporarily or on a trial basis’ (YouCat #407) and therefore damaging outside of marriage.
Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally forever. Living a chaste life is about ‘willing the good of the other’ (1766). Genital activity is designed for the loving sexual act between husband and wife, which expresses unconditional life giving love. Pre- marital relationships should be a time to prepare for marriage (if that’s ones calling) and keep themselves and others pure, for their loving future spouse.
Video: Discussion on premarital sex vs true love
Web article: Living a pure life
Video: Clip about loving purely and dating
Web article: False truth that you must test drive sex
Same Sex Attraction
Every person is called to live out chastity, which means loving authentically and ordering our actions so that our love is truly life giving to ourselves and others. Ultimately, living the way Christ shows us, is what is best for us, as he created us and knows us better than ourselves, 'Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you' (Jer 1:5).
Are same sex attracted people bad?
God wants each person to be truly happy. Due to original sin, we live in a world that is hurt and wounded. Every person suffers from 'concupiscence' which means we are not perfect and need guidance (CCC 2515).
Every person is a child of God and is loved unconditionally by him. Some people do experience sexual attractions towards people of the same sex and causes for these attractions are complex and remain largely unexplained (CCC 2357). For some people these attractions to the same sex are a phase and disappear but for others the attractions are life long. People that do experience same sex attractions are not bad.
'Homosexual acts' are however, contrary to the natural law because such acts close the sexual act to the gift of life (CCC 2357). God has designed the sexual act to bring about union and openness to life through this act. Homosexual acts like any act that prohibits union and life (for example masturbation, artificial contraception) are not what God intended with the gift of sexuality and therefore under no circumstance be approved (CCC 2357). 'The difference between man and woman is...for communion and procreation' (Pope Francis, April 15, 2015) and homosexual acts go against this complementarity.
What advice to people that experience same sex attraction?
All people experiencing same sex attraction have to be loved. God wants what's best for everyone. The catholic perspective is not to define people by their attractions. Young people experiencing such attractions can feel confused and scared. Hurtful names and discrimination must always be prohibited and respect, sensitivity and compassion must be given to each person experiencing these attractions (CCC 2358).
The Catholic Church supports people with same sex attractions to live a life according to Christ's plan for them. Groups such as 'Courage' who are an official apostolate of the Catholic Church, are created to support people experiencing same sex attraction, who want to live a chaste life.
Video: Explaining the catholic perspective on homosexuality
Video: Sharing the catholic teaching on same sex attraction
Natural Family Planning
Natural Fertility Services Brochure: Diocese of Broken Bay
Diocese of Broken Bay NFP Brochure.pdfReal Authentic Love
Sexual union or marital union as its known is the most intimate expression of love between two people and only make sense in marriage, as this holy expression of love is a renewing of the marriage vows which promises a love which is free, total, faithful and fruitful.
Therefore the marital act of husband and wife, is designed by God to be unitive (loving one flesh union) and procreative (open to children) (CCC 2364). These two fundamental features, are designed by God, to be connected and never separated.
A love which is procreative or fruitful is open to God's love and the gift of human life, which is not just an earthly gift but one which is eternal (CCC 2371).
Contraception
Fertility is a gift designed by God to be nourished in marriage. Contraception impedes the procreative potential of the marital act by wilfully suppressing the gift of fertility. Contraception can take the form in artificial devices and hormones (and hence is normally called artificial contraception) or by sterilizing surgical procedures. Besides contraception having negative side effects on the health of women, it does not express the total (accepting the whole person including their fertility) and fruitful (open to children) dimension of sexual union and the wedding vows.
Does God expect couples to have children every time they have sex?
God wants families to be generous and be open to life. But couples may have just reasons (not motivated by selfishness) to space the births of children (CCC 2368). God has created the female body so that there is only a small time period in her menstrual cycle, that she is fertile and being able to conceive. The Catholic Church in her wisdom teaches that a husband and wife, if for just reasons want to space their children, can express their love in sexual union, during periods of infertility based on the woman's menstrual cycle. This is called Natural Family Planning.
How is Natural Family Planning (NFP) different to Contraception methods?
Being open to life can be hard but each child is a precious treasure who God wants in heaven one day. There can be just reasons that couples may need to avoid a pregnancy and natural family planning is a way to do this in a dignified way by not impeding the procreative potential of the sexual act. NFP works with the natural cycle of the woman, which God has designed in a woman's body compared to initiating an act which suppresses the natural gift of fertility in a woman.
What are the methods of Natural Family Planning?
There are 3 main methods of Natural Family Planning:
1. FertilityCare, Creighton Model System: Uses observations of cervical mucus.Developed by Dr.Hilgers. This method can also be used in combination with NaProtechnology to treat and diagnose infertility and other gynaecological issues. For more information visit: www.fertilitycare.com.au
2. Sympto-thermal method: Uses observations of cervical mucus and temperature changes. For more information visit: www.acnfp.com.au
3. Billings Ovulation Method: Uses observations of cervical mucus. Developed by Drs John and Evelyn Billings. For more information visit: www.thebillingsovulationmethod.org
(Methods of Natural Family Planning taken from the Diocese of Broken Bay (Natural Family Planning Page) on May 22nd 2018 https://www.dbb.org.au/parish-support-unit/dsp-default.cfm?loadref=458)
Video: Problem with contraception
Web article: Catholic Church and Contraception
Video: The Birth Control Pill
Video: The myths about condoms
Diocese of Broken Bay Contraception_.pdfDiocese of Broken Bay Contraception brochure
Pornography
What is wrong with pornography?
Authentic love is being a self gift to others and loving freely, totally, fruitfully and faithfully. Pornography is the absolute opposite to this self giving love as it is inward seeking and 'uses' a person as an object for their self gratification (CCC 2354).
'The body of the other is often viewed as an object to be used as long as it offers satisfaction, and rejected once it is no longer appealing' (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 153).
What are the effects of pornography?
There are many harmful and devastating effects of pornography. The terrible effects of pornography can be categorised into three main groups.
1. Pornography affects the brain
Pornography alters the brain. Here are some ways that pornography effects the brain (Gilkerson L, Your Brain on Porn, 2016):
-Desensitised to pleasure
'Continued exposure to porn, especially for long periods of time, releases surge after surge of dopamine, giving the brain an unnatural high. The brain eventually fatigues, limiting the release of dopamine, leaving the viewer wanting more but unable to reach a level of satisfaction'.
-Hyper-Sensitized to Lust
Exposure to pornography effects the brain in a way that the user sees 'sexual cues' in all things. This view of reality is totally unnatural and devastating to the person using porn, because a perverted sexual lens is what life is seen through.
-Willpower crippled
Due to the process of sensitisation and desensitisation, the prefrontal cortex in the brain is effected. This part of the brain controls willpower and decision making and hence has a devastating impact which cripples the willpower of a person.
Pornography affects the brain
Video: The effects of pornography on the brain
E-Book: Your brain on Porn by Covenant Eyes
2. Pornography affects the heart
Exposure to pornography gives unrealistic expectations of sexual intimacy. A person using pornography starts to view people as objects and really damages the ability to love.
Pornography affects the heart
Video: Animation showing how pornography affects a person's ability to love
3. Pornography affects the world
Pornography has terrible wider implications for society. Some of these include (Fight the new drug: http://learn.ftnd.org/#world):
- Decreased empathy for sexual violence victims
- Increased acceptance of violence
- Increased behavioural aggression including violent fantasies and actual violent assaults
- Adds to the problem of child trafficking
Pornography affects the world
Video: Discussion on how pornography has devastating effects on the wider world
E- Book: Pornography Statistics by Covenant Eyes
Website article: Pornography and holiness
Video: Effect of pornography and how to be healed
Sexting
Dangers of Sexting
Every person has an inherent dignity because God loves us into existence 'created us through love' (CCC 27). We are made for love in its proper sense and that is a love that is total, faithful, fruitful and free. Sexting goes against the dignity of the human person. It doesn't show too much of a person but too little as it disregards the person as a whole, with a mind, personality, feelings and a soul and reduces the person just to body parts, for the users own selfish pleasure. Pope Francis warns all people of the dangers of misusing technology, 'whenever communication is primarily aimed at promoting consumption or manipulating others, we are dealing with a form of violent aggression' (Message of Pope Francis for the 48th World Communications day, Communication at the service of an authentic culture of encounter, 2014)
Love is delighting in the spending time with the other person. Sexting communicates a message of 'I want to spend time with your body but I don't really need you physically here'. Love is self giving and wanting the best for the other person, and requesting sexual images and texts is the total opposite of a self giving love.
Web article: Snapchat
Web article: The issue of sexting
Video: Anti -sexting video
Video: Discussion on the dangers of sexting
Gender Dysphoria
Gender dysphoria is a topic which is current and due to its nature, has to be treated with sensitivity. The bishops of NSW and ACT are currently developing pastoral guidelines in the area of gender dysphoria. Once these guidelines have been developed, they will be included on this site.