[transcript]

Basic Mentor Training (M.E.E.T.) - Meet them where they are at.

Alright, let’s break this Mentor training down into something simple and real that you can use when you’re helping out a separated parent who’s going through a tough time. 

Whether you’re a one-to-one mentor with lived experience in the trenches, a community megaphone spreading the word, a courtroom anchor keeping them steady, or a coaching trailblazer paving the way forward - these 4 basic steps you’re about to learn, apply across the board.

And, they’re parallel or lined up with the 4 general stages of our peer support group process - so we’re all on the same page.

Our peer support groups, which have been running since 1999, have 4 general stages which are:

1. Welcome Statement - this frames expectations

2. Check in - Actively listening

3. 2nd Half - Feeding back, exploring options

4. Checkout - Wrap up, and action steps

Our “M.E.E.T. Mentoring Model” has 4 general steps, which are in parallel with the group, but applied through our mentoring approach. It’s all about connecting with someone in a way that actually works. 

M.E.E.T. stands for:

1. Meet them where they are at.

2. Engage them actively

3. Explore their options

4. Take small steps

When we put the two side by side, it’s easy to see the consistent approach we take across our groups, one to one, community development, Court based or Coaching.

1. Welcome Statement - this frames expectations M eet them where they are at

2. Check in - Actively listening E ngage them actively

3. 2nd Half - Feeding back, exploring options E xplore their options

4. Checkout - Wrap up, and action steps T ake small steps

M.E.E.T. in a Nutshell is:

• Meet them where they’re at: Jump into coffee not their mess - we empathise, listen, show respect. No judgment, just “I see you, mate.”

• Engage them actively: SHUSH up and hear them out -we stay calm, patient, hear them out, sum it up, and we don’t play fix-it.

• Explore their options: PACE it out - we help name the problem, check the fall out, help them draw out choices, and pick one to roll with. 

• Take small steps: Set a tiny goal or action with them, plan a follow-up, cheer on the wins. 

The first step is called “Meet them where they are at,” and it’s about helping them figure out what’s going on in their head and heart without making it complicated.

Here’s how it works: 

1. First, show Empathy. That’s just letting them know you get that they’re feeling hard done by, or upset. You might say something like, “I can see this is hitting you hard,” and leave it there - no judging, no fixing, just showing you’re by their side.

2. Next, give your Attention. This is about showing them you are shutting up and really listening. You’re there and ready for them to spill their story—how the separation went down, what’s keeping them up at night. You’re demonstrating you’re present, and paying attention so they feel heard and valued. You might say something like, “You’ve got my full attention, I’m here for you.”

3. Finally, show Respect. This is huge. Let them know their struggles matter, and they matter. Maybe say, “You’ve been through a lot, and it’s no wonder you’re feeling this way.” You’re not saying they are right or wrong - you’re just showing them their experience counts.

So meeting them where they are at might sound like, “I can see this is hitting you hard. I’m here for you. You’ve been through a lot, it’s no wonder you feel this way.” 

Just remember that empathy, attention and respect has to be heartfelt and genuine, not scripted or robotic.

This applies in a one to one conversation as much as it does by getting brochures or posters out where they are looking, or being that trusted face in the Court building, or stepping them though some coaching steps.

Step one is meeting them right where they are at—messy emotions and all. It’s like walking up to their front door instead of yelling at them from across the street. You get close enough, listen up, and let them know they are not alone in this. That’s when the real stuff starts.

2. Engage them actively

Okay, let’s keep this practical and simple. The second part of the “M.E.E.T. Mentoring Model” -“Engage them actively.” 

This is about how you talk with someone who’s hurting, so they feel heard, not just nodded at. It’s where we SHUSH up and hear them out—we stay calm, patient, hear them out, sum it up, and we don’t play fix-it.

It’s some basic active listening stuff you can do as a friendly peer, even if you’re not a fancy professional.

Picture this: You’re sitting with a parent who’s stressed out—maybe they’re ranting about their ex or worried about the kids. 

1. First thing, Stay calm. Don’t let their big emotions shake you up. Keep your cool, be the steady one in the storm. Take a deep breath if you need to—just don’t flip out, they’re probably already doing that, someone needs to be the rock.

2. Next, Have patience. Let them talk, even if they’re all over the place. Don’t cut them off or rush them. They might need to vent about how they’re barely sleeping or how they are broke right now. Give them that space to get it out, and feel heard.

3. Then, Understand. This isn’t about agreeing with everything they say—it’s about showing you’re actually interested and you understand what’s happening for them. Ask something simple like, “What’s that been like for you?” or “How’s that hitting you?” It shows you’re not just waiting for your turn to talk.

4. After that, Summarise. This is big - it shows you’re listening. Say something like, “So, you’re saying you’re ticked off because you can’t see the kids as much, and it’s tearing you up, right?” Keep it short, hit the main stuff they’ve told you.

5. Last, Hold off on advice. This one’s tough, ‘cause you might wanna jump in and fix them or tell them what to do about their ex or their kids. Don’t. Just listen. It takes guts not to play the hero and let them figure out what’s next, but that’s what they need right now.

So, engaging them actively is like being his sounding board, not their boss. 

S.H.U.S.H is deliberate - we say less and listen more. Stay calm, let them talk, show you get it, repeat it back, and don’t rush to solve it. That’s how you build trust with a parent who’s feeling knocked down.”

3. Explore their options

Alright, the third step of the “M.E.E.T. Mentoring Model” - “Explore their options.” 

This is where you help a distress parent figure out what they can actually do about their situation, without you playing the know-it-all. 

We PACE it out with them—we help name the problem, check the fall out, help them draw out choices, and pick one to roll with.

1. First, Problem. Get straight to it. Help them narrow the issues. Sometimes it’s simply asking something like, “Okay, what’s the biggest issue you’re facing?” 

2. Next, Assess. Help the figure out where they’re at. Asking something like, “What’s going on with that now? What’ve you been doing about it?” “How’s that working out for you?” This gets them to see what’s real without you judging.

3. Then, Choices. This is where you get them thinking. Saying something like, “Alright, let’s toss some ideas around—what could you do?” “Anything you could try?” Let them spitball their choices—they’re the one who’s gotta pick.

4. Last, Execute. Help them nail down a small step forward. Ask something like, “So, what’s one small thing you could start with?” 

When we PACE it out with them, it’s like giving them a simple playbook: name the problem, check the situation, throw out some choices, and pick one to run with. You’re not fixing it for them—you’re just walking them through it so they see their own way out. 

For a mentor, it’s super easy to use: ask a few straight questions, listen, and let them take the wheel. Perfect for parents who don’t need lectures, just a bit of direction.”

4.Take Small Steps

Alright, let’s wrap this up with the last step of the “M.E.E.T. Mentoring Model” —“Take small steps.” 

This is where you help that distressed parent stop just talking about their problems and actually do something about them. It’s not rocket science—just a few simple moves to keep them moving forward, and you’re there to back them up.

1. First, set clear, manageable goals or steps for the week ahead. Keep it real—nothing big or fancy. You might say, “Alright, what’s one thing you can do this week to move forward?” After they come up with their small step, you nudge them forward with something like: “Cool, so you’re going to make that call. When are you thinking of doing it?” Done—small, doable, no pressure.

2. Next, schedule a follow up or progress update. Give them a heads-up you’ll follow up to see how they went. Say something like, “How about we catch up next Monday? You can tell me how that call went.” It’s not about babysitting them—it’s just a way to keep them on track and let them know you’re still in their corner.

3. Then, provide encouragement and celebrate small wins. This is huge for a parent who’s feeling knocked down. If they make that call—even if it doesn’t go perfect—you can say, “You did it! You picked up the phone, that’s a win right there.” Doesn’t matter if the ex said no; the point is they took action. Keep it positive: “What do you reckon you’ll try next?” Pick them up, don’t let them dwell.

So, “Take small steps” is about getting them moving with a clear step, setting a time to check back, and giving them a pat on the back for trying. It’s like being their mate who says, “You’ve got this, let’s keep it rolling.” 

For you as a mentor, it’s easy: pick a small step together, plan a follow up, and cheer them on. That’s how you help a parent start climbing out of the hole—one small step at a time.”

Summary

Alright, let’s wrap this up, then move into how it all fits together for mentoring separated parents. You’re training to be a rock-solid mentor with the M.E.E.T. Model, and here’s the super-fast summary to help burn it into your brain:

M.E.E.T. in a Nutshell:

• Meet them where they’re at: Jump into coffee not their mess - we empathise, listen, show respect. No judgment, just “I see you, mate.”

• Engage them actively: SHUSH up and hear them out - we stay calm, patient, hear them out, sum it up, and we don’t play fix-it.

• Explore their options: PACE it out—we help name the problem, check the fall out, help them draw out choices, and pick one to roll with. 

• Take small steps: Set a tiny goal or action with them, plan a follow-up, cheer on the wins. 

Think of it like this: M.E.E.T. is your trusty roadmap to guide a parent from 'I’m stuffed' to 'I’ve got this.' It’s less 'wax on, wax off' and more “grab a coffee, let’s sort it together.”

One-to-One Mentors and Beyond:

So, the M.E.E.T. Model is your basic, bread-and-butter training for starting as a Mentor. You’re the mate who’s been there—chatting over a coffee, on the phone, or via live chat, or even putting out brochures, just cutting through the isolation and sparking some hope. 

You meet them in their chaos, engage them like a human, explore what they can do, and nudge them toward their next step. After, you jot down a quick sign-in—basic details, nothing fancy—and set a time to check back. 

Easy, right? It’s all about relating, not fixing.

But here’s the cool part: this is just the start. Once you’ve got the concept, you can also step into other volunteering roles. 

It all ties back to meeting them where they are at. Whether you’re a one-to-one mate in the trenches, a community megaphone spreading the word, a courtroom anchor keeping them steady, or a coaching trailblazer paving the way forward. 

Start here, make those heartfelt connections, and you’re set to make a real dent in the struggles these separated parents face, one chat at a time. 

You’ll be helping to keep them alive and in their kids lives.