Personal Narrative

You know how in the classic American movies there’s always a family that is perfect, they go on fun vacations together, have the best Christmas experiences and always has a luau pool party every summer? That was my family, the half white half Mexican family living in a two-story house in the second court on Americano Drive. I was currently sitting on the half rusted sticky baseball bench waiting for my mom to pick me up from practice, today’s practice sucked because we had to run a lot, which I do not do, nor enjoy. It had been awhile before I began to worry that I wasn’t going to be picked up at all, it had been a couple more minutes of my nine-year-old self-wondering what to do when my mom drove up,

“Ski, get in the car it’s cold out there.”

“Mom! You’re never late, what happened?” I asked while throwing my bag and glove into the backseats.

“Oh, just some trouble at Raley’s with the ice cream, don’t worry about it hon.”

I nodded my head now plotting my plan on how to convince her to let me have that delicious ice cream after dinner. Getting home I go to get the bags of food out of the trunk when my mother yells,

“Hey no don’t go in there.”

“But you always make me take the bags in” I stated as I curiously try to see what was in the back of the car.

“Yes but just uh go do your homework yeah go do your homework it’s fine I got the bags” she stated rather quickly.

I gave up, my hunger for food taking over my curiosity.

*One Week Later*

“Where are my shoes? I know I left them right next to my dresser” I thought to myself while crouching down under my bed having no idea why they would even be under there. I shooked my head and decided to look in my mom’s closet, hoping she took them and cleaned them for me. After searching for about five minutes, I was tired and decided to just wear slippers.

“You said you quit, you promised you were done!” my dad shouted as he entered the room, my mother coming in slowly behind him, stumbling a bit. I decided to hide, not wanting to cause anymore trouble.

“ I.. I did… I swear” she slurred leaning against the doorframe.

“Oh yeah? What’s this then huh? Dad said while lifting up her pillows revealing a half empty bottle of vodka.

“I did did quit I…, uh I swear,” she said while stumbling towards the bed, finally collapsing on it.

“You just said that you’re too drunk even to remember what you just said” he sneered while dumping the liquor down the drain. “We are getting you help, and that’s final.”

*Two Year Later*

After about two years everything seemed back to normal, mom had gotten helped, and she was back to being the mom everyone wanted and the mom I knew. It was about the time we usually had our summer pool party, a party filled with swimming, family and lots of food and alcohol. The family was worried about having it this year, but we were reassured by my mom that she was in control of herself and to continue our traditional summer party. I always loved our parties, so the only thing I hated was the setup which then was followed by the cleanup, it was exhausting! Every pool party I showed off my new swimming “moves” to family members, thinking it was the coolest thing I’ve ever done. The party was on full blast by two o’clock, you could smell the carnitas cooking from a mile away, hear the sound of music blaring over the fences, and the laughs of children splashing each other in the pool. This was the life, I had thought while eating nachos next to the pool; unfortunately, I have the problem of speaking too soon. Over the music and the loud children screaming, I hear a huge splash coming from the pool, looking over my shoulder I see the lopsided smile of my mother coming up from the water, holding onto the edge of the pool because she was drunk off her ass. Now, almost everyone at the party was drunk, the guests especially, but my mother? That was not supposed to happen. I run into the house, finding my dad I yell,

“Dad dad you have to come help mom!” while pulling him out of the house into the backyard. He instantly runs off the balcony and into the deep end of the pool to help my mother stay afloat. Now, this is where I realize how much of a stupid idea that was, I now have two parents in the pool that can’t swim. My mom can’t swim because of the alcohol that has taken over her body, and my dad can’t swim at all! I look around trying to see if anyone was the least bit sober or strong enough to help me, but after glancing around, I decided to take matters into my own hands and dive into the pool. Now listen, I am a fantastic swimmer but to pull this off would be a damn miracle. Grabbing a donut looking floating, I push it over my dad’s head and had him grab onto the side with one hand. Then I pull my mother to the floaty, one hand on the ledge and one hand under her arm. Finally getting her to dad he holds her with one arm while I push them and the floaty as hard as I could to the shallow end.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” he screams while aggressively pulling off the blow up plastic and stomping out of the pool. My mom just looks confused while sitting on the ledge, my aunt comes out wondering why he was yelling. After dad stomps off, my aunt Val gets mom in the house, letting the party slowly die down. The next morning we got a call saying she got into a car accident because of drinking and driving. She was alright other than a broken arm; this was the last straw for my family. Because of the DUI, she had to retake classes before getting her license, and we as a family put her into a facility that would help her quit her addiction. For the first month we couldn’t visit her, but when we did, she looked terrible. Weighing at 140 and being 5’11 caused her to look stick thin and the paleness from not going outside was clearly evident. She did seem happier though. After another few weeks, she was able to come home, and things began to die down. My grandma decided that we should move closer to her, so we left Fairfield and came to American Canyon, buying a house that was a two-minute walk from my Gram’s it had benefits for sure. A few years went by, and the house was mostly filled with yelling, accusations of cheating, threats of all sorts and cold delivery food. Staying at my Gram’s was my sanctuary, after making room for myself there, it became my home. She would help me with my homework, and I would help her cook, we had a system.

December of 2016 was a big month, mom went off the wagon and started drinking again, dad was being accused of cheating by my mom, and we were running out of money to live on. After coming home from school one day I sat down and was told they were getting a divorce, I was expecting it for awhile but hearing it was a whole new effect; it made everything real. A few days later dad packed up his things and moved out, leaving me with my alcoholic mom in a house too big for just two people. Things began to get bad after that, I picked up the slack and became in charge of the house, did all the laundry, made all the meals, did all the shopping and even sent out the bills and payments to keep our house running. It took a few weeks until we realized we couldn’t support ourselves because of mom losing her job and dad moving out, so my mother and I moved in with my Gram that was down the street from us. At the beginning of January everything became better, my mom and I became civil and started not to fight as much, and she became better with her drinking problem, everything seemed to be starting to smooth out. On January 26 of this year I woke up in a horrible mood, I was pissed off and was not wanting to talk to anyone, so I stayed in my room the whole day, around 1:30 pm my mom came in,

“Hey I’m headed to the nail place later today, last time I was there, they said they really liked you,” she said with a smile of what only could be proudness.

“Yeah ok, whatever” was all I said to her rolling my eyes as she shut the door. I knew I would regret acting like that, but I just couldn’t help it, I was in an awful mood for a reason I didn’t know. I decided I would apologize for my actions when she came back home, but I never got to. At 3:36 pm, on that day, we got a call from the Sonoma police station saying she got into another car accident but the impact killed her instantly. When a person drowns, that last second before they give up and ingest the water that they so desperately tried to keep out, right before that moment, they feel numbness. They stop feeling the pain in their lungs and the panic of their heartbeat they stop feeling everything for a second before they open their mouth and let the water consume them. That is what I felt, absolute numbness before I started to ball my eyes out, letting out screams of agony. The next few days I didn't feel like a person, I didn’t do anything that resembled the smallest part of one and it wasn't until the third day, that I got out of bed and was able to feel remotely like a living human being. The next few weeks were a blur to me, hearing the words “I’m sorry for your loss” became sickening and the polite, respectful half smile that had to be given was even more effort. Dealing with the after part of her death was the most exhausting for everyone, having to explain why you have to cancel her credit cards and shipments that were made began to sound like an automated machine. In February I officially moved in with my gram, and my dad became someone I only see every Sunday for breakfast. After awhile life began to go on but I can’t ever help and keep my brain from thinking about things, and that’s where the sudden shift of my mood comes from, moving from excited to depressed. The mere thought of her always gets to me, and it will always continue to be like that.