I’m Unique

America has long been the land of hopes and dreams where people from all over the world came for a better life. So did I. I came to America in April 2016. In the beginning, I felt happy because it had always been my dream to live here, but after a while, I realized that I had to start a new life and that I had to be away from my best friends, some of my relatives, and a lot of other people. On the other hand, the joy of meeting my family that lived out here all along was overwhelming, but deep down inside me was a huge fear, fear of being new and different. My own family was all Americanized, but I still had a lot to learn.

Over summer I watched a lot of English movies and shows to improve my English. Then I enrolled in ACHS for my Junior year. I didn‘t even want to go to school here because I was sure that it was going to be extremely hard for me to find new friends and get used to what people do here. I remember the first day of my school. I walked in really nervous and lost. I was supposed to be in room C210, but I had no clue where it was and I was just too shy to ask. A student came up to me and asked if I was new? I hesitantly said yes.

“What room number are you looking for?” She asked

“C210,” I said.

“I’m going to C building too. Come on, I’ll walk you to your class.” We started walking. “So What’s your name?” She asked. I said, “Aman”.

“Where you from?” she asked.

“India,” I said.

“When did you come here?” She asked.

“A few months ago,” I said. I tried answering most of her questions with least amount of words possible because I wasn’t confident to form a complete sentence.

She walked me to the class and I thanked her. In class, I felt insecure and alone the entire day. Every time somebody would comment about my accent, it just reminded me that I was different. I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to be one of them. Now my goal was to try harder and fit in.

I talked to more and more people every day in school and made a few friends. Things started getting better and the school didn’t feel that bad after all. I started working at six flags in November 2016. This was my first job and I liked it because it was a new experience.

One day when I came home from work my dad asked, “How’s your work going? Do you like it there?”

“It’s going great, dad. I love it.” I said

“How come you don’t go out with any of your friends from work?” He asked me.

“Nah, I just want to stay home,” I said but the truth was that people I talked to at work were mostly acquaintances. I knew how to talk to people but I was still unable to hold conversations to the point where you can be actual friends with someone. I would still get nervous while talking to new people because I kept on thinking that I was different and felt the need to try harder. I still saw myself as the new girl who’s trying to fit in.

It was New Year 2017 when I received the best present ever, my brother. He moved back in the house and soon we became close friends. In Summer 2017, he introduced me to all of his friends, we went to a bunch of parties and I was able to visit some places I never been before. I went to SF, LA, San Luis Obispo, Disneyland and Magic Mountain.

I remember sitting alone and quite at one of the parties, while my brother was talking to his friends. Then he came up to me and said, “Hey, why don’t you go talk to someone? It’s a party, you should be having fun.”

“I don’t know, I’m not really good at talking to strangers.” I said

“It’s all in your head, give it a try.” He said

“But...I’m so different,” I said in a sad voice

“So what?” He paused. “Look around you, everyone here is different. You just have to accept and embrace yourself.”

That day, I realized that there is nothing such as fitting in. America is a diverse land, people here have different cultures, race, religion, and background. This is what makes everyone unique and I’m unique too.

As I walked in the school on my first day of senior year, I compared it to my very first day. It was different. I felt accepted, it was because I had accepted myself the way I am. I have changed a lot since the day I came here. Now, I don’t get nervous when I talk to new people anymore. I have made a lot of friends and I love it.