I only knew you through chat, and I barely knew you but you still always knew how to make my day by sending funny messages and the most out of pocket things. you knew how to make peoples days and how to make them laugh, cheering them up instantly. you always lightened the mood and made everything feel so much better. You helped me through my tremendous rants in the healing group chat and helped me out when I needed you to. When I was at my lowest you and others were always there for me to make sure that my situation could be lightened up and avoided. You always put yourself before others and pushed your feelings away and put others first. you helped everyone in the best way possible and gave us the best advice..

Although I may not know you that well, you're so pretty and beautiful. You were so sweet and kind, you were perfect. I'll miss you.

sincerely,

a lin

I loved you, you were ALWAYS there for me when I needed you. The comfort, warm, and happiness I got from your existence was addicting, to say the least. That one time where everyone thought something different than I did, you messaged me and told me you agreed with me too. I miss you so much, I will NEVER forget you and never in a million hundred quadrillion thousand years could you have deserved this.

Never as sIgMaUr as you,

-Anonymous ;(

You were there for me when I wanted to give up. You welcomed me despite my flaws and awkwardness. You listen to me read that weird thing that traumatized everyone else. The world needs more people like you. You've shown so much kindness to people in this school, yet now you're gone, leaving us to wonder why the best people always get so little. Despite not seeing you very often, you've made me feel like I can be myself around you, and there are very few people I feel like I can be myself around. I remember the times we had together during that wonderful play. I remember how we played human ring toss with the props backstage, with Lenny and Annika. I remember how you and Lenny chased me through the hall with Gacha life videos. I remember joking about your arm warmers and how they look like casts, and you said "IT'S A FASHION STATEMENT". I will die on that hill, you looked fresh out of the hospital. I wish that I could've gotten to know you better, so that we would be living it up next year in highschool.

I will never forget you,

A 300 year old monk.

Anonymous friend of Barbara, freshman as of the year 2024

Prologue

It was said that Cowie disappeared on the Night of Wicked Ones. The night when the evil spirits arrived to take the cows. Some say the Cowie ran away because of her wicked brother. Or did angels swoop from the heavens to take her to the Place Where Good Cows Go? None are right. Historians these days say that Cowie was transported to the Land Where Dragons Roam. Pyrrhia.  

Cowsha

Cowie was a generous and kind friend. The best type. She was clever and gentle, fearless and determined. And I am lucky to be her best friend. Us cows live on The Shelf of Barbara. We are considered her pets. One day at the School of Socks, we were learning about the Land Where Dragons Roam. Of course, that place is not real. But Cowie was determined to find it. “Come on!” she said at recess. “Let’s try to find Pyrrhia!” As her friend, I dutifully said, “Ok.” And of course Cower had to ruin everything. 

Cower

I saw them at the Slide of Erasers. My sister and her silent friend. I looked around. I saw Cowford, the most popular cow boy in the school. He and his friends looked at me intently. I knew what I would have to do. I stomped up to the Slide of Erasers. 

“Stop being weirdos!” I said. Girls were so annoying. 

Cowie blinked at me. “Who says we’re being weirdos?”

I lift my chin haughty. “I do.”

Cowsha scowled. “We don’t care about what you say.” She glanced at Cowie quickly to see if Cowie would approve. Little did she know that Cowie didn’t mind if she spoke to Cower in a mean way. Little timid cow. 

I looked at Cowford and the others again. They looked bored. Uh-oh. Time to move up my game.

I stepped up to Cowie and pulled off the bow that she loved so much. 

“Hey!” she said.

“I’ll go get a teacher!” Cowsha cried, spinning away.     

I laughed and ran away. 

Cowie ran after me. I ran over the Forbidden Hill of Pencil Sharpeners, to the place Mother told us never to go. Portal Land. I ran at the nearest portal, twisting away just in time. But Cowie wasn’t so lucky. In she went. Good-bye twin sister. 

Cowie

“Where am I?” Cowie looked around. She was in a dark mountain. Under the mountain. Wait… Pyrrhia. PYRRHIA!!! Cowie staggered to her feet, forgetting about the whole Cower incident. She was about to walk around when large claws snatched her up. “Growr ger gok.” said the big, angry looking red dragon. “Grr Gra.” said a yellow dragon with a different dragon accent. “Gok graggle grog.” muttered a blueish green dragon. The red dragon threw Cowie into a cave, where 5 little dragons waited. 1 looked bored, another 1 was reading, the smallest one looked excited, the blue one was thumping the reading one with her tail, and the last 1… Looked hungry. “Gra, gra gorg.” said 1 of the adult dragons to the hungry one. And before Cowie could blink, the dragon ate her. 

The end

Epilogue

Furious about what had happened to her favorite cow, Barbara of the Land Above, most unceremoniously chucked Cower into the portal. Clay later ate him. As for Cowsha, she luckily was not thrown into the portal. She lived a long happy life on the Shelf of Barbara.   

Message from Joy C. December 4, 2024

“Dear Barbara,

Remember this story? It was kind of silly, but still something we came up with together. We all miss you, and reading Wings of Fire will never be the same again. 

Dragons, angry geese, and cows,

                 -Joy”

Just come back.

because I didn't appreciate you enough,

until you left.

Because I suddenly remember everything.

Every memory is now a drop of honey in an arid drought.

nectar to a bee.

milk to a baby.

Because now I remember

every joke you told

every kind word

every kind deed

every pretty outfit

every funny action

Why the h*ll did you go?

come back.

but death is irreversible.

I want to awaken you from the dead.

come back.

I want to talk to the dead,

talk to you again.

My friends moved away,

drifted apart.

Perhaps I left them.

but I could talk to them,

whenever I wanted.

Why can't I talk to the dead?

please come back.

Please.

I Liu

You never know until the day comes.

Then it hits.

Hard, like glass breaking,

Spilling contents onto the floor, the drapes

stitched tight with rose buds cerise, and cloth white as clouds. 

So many more moments left to never take place, ruby ribbons left untied and frayed at the edges, the ends.

 Cut short.

For every memory remaining with us comes a bitter remark left by grief, the print left by loss.

Permanent scars left to redden and bleed.

The world once known yet gone deepens with it the pits left in soft hearts, each chasm growing larger with every new delicate  beat

formed without them.

Every step taken through lands now remote and seemingly discarded,

Every word spoken with honey-sweet love and care,

Every memory curated simply like a delicate pink rose petal in a glass bottle,

Now shattered on the floor by the words,

“I want you back”,

 Ever repeating themselves,

Forever more.

Absence becomes a darkened shroud over the world left to wander, living on another day, another year perhaps,

Over those hearts still beating with grief, and loneliness.

How different could today and tomorrow be, if yesterday hadn’t happened?

Moments left to not be lived, dusty on a shelf smelling of withered and crumpled flowers,

Their final message lost to whatever comes next, the second act of the play in which we are kept still now  in the first.

.

Are we left behind, from wherever they went? Whatever we seemingly lost them to?

Or are we leaving them behind? In the past, the only place where they still resided with us?

Next to us?

Where we could cherish them as they were.

See them.

Hear them.

Be there for them.

Before they were nothing more than mulberry painted roses left by the mourning passers by?

Still when the jars of hope, and memories have been shattered on the floor,

Would grief be what they truly wanted? What they intended in their final moments?

No.

They would have wanted us to remember them as

A friend,

A classmate,

A student,

A sister,

A daughter,

Every title they so rightly earned and held from life,

And hold even now.

Dashed be the thorns of pain and misery.

That every action they had taken to make our lives just a petal better, would not be forgotten,

Left broken, and lost.

That we may take with us their memory, tucked in pockets, backpacks, pencil cases, and hearts.

As long as we remember them in joy and light reflected through memories clear as glass, and rose tinted as flower petals,

She will never truly be gone.

Dear lost friend,

Are you happy in the afterlife?

Dear lost friend,

We miss you.

Dear lost friend,

Remember that time you led a legion of geese against an army of dragons?

Or that time the lions attacked and the geese and dragons banded together to fight them?

Remember the empires we made?

Dear lost friend,

I still don’t understand Genshin Impact.

Dear lost friend,

Wings of Fire will never be the same without you.

Dear lost friend,

Anytime I see a goose I think of you.

Dear lost friend,

I wish I still had the email chain we made.

But I still have the book.

Dear lost friend,

Where in the afterlife are you now? Have you rebirthed into a new life? Are you in Heaven? What is the afterlife? 

Dear lost friend,

Remember that you are always loved.-

Joy C. December 2024

The absence.

The empty space where there used to be none.

When the dense fog settles over the fields of memories and treasured pasts,

Childish secrets shared, while giggling under warm covers,

Moments shrouded in comforting starlight.

They grow old.

And collect dust over their fixtures and surfaces.

They rust and corrode, all joy once a part of them,

Turning to melancholy sadness.

Dreams made and lost to time and loneliness,

End wrought by divides and rifts.

For all those times, warm and bright,

Beacons of light, now fading.

For all those pacts once made through tears of bittersweet waters.

Forget me not.

For the childish secrets shared, while giggling under warm covers,

Moments shrouded in comforting starlight.

To look back at with soft sweet remembrance,

To face as a good friends,

Rather than a phantom in the night.

Invisible.

By the five petals of the flower, moonstone periwinkle,

hued by silver; blooming from a star-like center.

By the twisting crisp stems of olive green, rooted deep into ancient grounds,

And leaves heart shaped.

Forget us not, Barbara Zheng.