Self-care PraCtices
Self-Compassion and Inner Critic
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Acting is a tough gig.
We often feel judged whether in auditions, by directors, casting directors, fellow actors, audience members, or reviewer.
If the feedback is positive this can feel wonderful, if the feedback is not-so-good, then it can be tough - and we will never receive positive feedback all the time. It can feel incredibly vulnerable being an actor and putting ourselves forward to be judged on a daily basis, and this can have a detrimental impact on our self-esteem.
Strengthening our identity separate from acting can help, as can learning to have self-compassion. Finding ways to quietening the inner critic is vital too.
‘We are all a hero in someone’s story. We are all a villain in someone’s story. We are all the main characters in our own story. The important thing is that we try and like that character. Because it’s a long story.’
Matt Haig
We often have compassion for our characters' stories and journeys, understanding why they make the choices that they do. We have to fall in love with them – even the ones that the audience hate! Learning how to turn this compassion towards ourselves is crucial. I always liken self-compassion to how we would speak to a child. Constantly criticising and judging a child, being sarcastic or cruel to them, would likely cause them to shut down or act out, and leave them struggling to function, and feeling unloved or unappreciated. We are no different. Be mindful of the language that you use to speak to yourself.
Also, self-compassion doesn’t mean avoiding pushing yourself. Dr. Kristin Neff introduced the concept of fierce compassion, which is compassion in action. It involves creating boundaries, putting yourself forward, and motivating change. (www.selfcompassion.org).
Inner-Critic
We all have an inner-critic. They love to appear before rehearsals, during rehearsals, after auditions, etc. They often deliver long monologues about how you did something wrong, how the director/casting director must have thought that you were an idiot... blah, blah, blah. You didn’t get the job because... blah, blah, blah. Whatever weird and wonderful reasons your inner-critic comes up with, just know that, generally, they will be wrong.
Our inner-critic often likes to centre us, making us the most important thing that day, but often we’re not. There are usually multiple factors as to why something may not have gone our way.
If you do have an awful audition – and everyone experiences these – be kind to yourself. Instead of seeing your inner-critic as an adversary, try to position them as a mentor. Get them to analyse what happened, provide feedback for the future, and then let it go.
Inner-critic in rehearsal
If you're an actor who berates themselves during rehearsals, be aware that it can be frustrating for a director to have an actor spend five minutes criticizing themselves every time they perceive they've made a mistake; it can impact rehearsals. Let it go. Be kind to yourself. It's not the end of the world. No one has died.
Advice
Give your inner critic a funny name; for me, it's Doris.
When you catch yourself being hard on yourself, refer to the critic using that name. 'Here we go. Doris is kicking off again!'
This tactic creates distance from the thoughts by giving them a character and defuses their impact with humour. If you struggle with your inner-critic, you can share its name with others, so you can let them know when Doris is being vocal.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism isn’t about wanting to be perfect, but it’s connected to the idea that you should be perfect in the eyes of others. It has deeper links to validation and ties in closely with the inner-critic, as it’s often this part that’s holding high ideals and berates us when we do not attain them. It’s the part that takes hours over an email, or over-prepares for an audition (and still feels like you haven’t done enough). It’s the hours and hours spent on a self-tape making sure its just right.
Sneaky things that drive perfectionism
Fear of failure (I must succeed)
The need to please (I must make everyone happy)
Low self-esteem (I’m not good enough).
Imposter Syndrome (I don’t deserve to be here)
Vulnerability (if I don’t get this right people will judge me)
Helpful Hints
Procrastination – it’s scary to start something when you feel it has to be perfect. Start with one little step, try doing the easiest aspect of the task first.
Remind yourself that mistakes and failures are a part of life.
Ask yourself ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen if its not perfect? ‘
Put less pressure on yourself, we can only do our best. If you have time constraints, you won’t be able to do the perfect self-tape.
If you relate to this section maybe start realising that good enough is also acceptable.
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