For children with ADHD, it all comes down to what they perceive as rewarding. When they find something rewarding, they tend to hyper-focus on it. It is therefore, inevitable for you to be met with resistance when you ask them to do something that is less rewarding. Listed below are some tips to help you manage your child with ADHD at home.
For children with ADHD, it is important to ensure that you have their attention before giving them any instructions. Yelling at them from the other side of the house will most likely not work, and will only lead to frustration for both parties.
Some ways to get their attention includes:
Eye contact
Asking them to repeat what you said
Hand on their shoulder
Sitting next to them
Children with ADHD often do not deal well with uncertainty as they do now know when the activities which they find most rewarding will occur. Using the guide from the page, Preparing your Child for Home-Based Learning, work together with your child to establish a routine with them, to build structure and consistency.
Do take note that children with ADHD are not able to stand long period of time where they do not receive any gratification. It is therefore more realistic to structure their work time into short bursts of not more than 45 minutes. After each burst of work, give them a short break of around 15 minutes. This method of working is called the Pomodoro Technique.
It can also be helpful to alternate activities that are less appealing with activites that they find more rewarding.
Positive attention is a powerful motivator in influencing children's behavior. When they are able to complete their work on time, it is important to let them know that you have noticed their effort by giving them positive attention. This is also a form of positive reinforcement, and your child will be encouraged to maintain this good behavior.
When giving praises, it is important to consider the tone of voice and also on how specific the praise is. There is a difference between, "Good job." and "GREAT JOB ON COMPLETING YOUR HOMEWORK SO QUICKLY!".
It is also important to be present and give your child your undivided attention when you are giving him positive attention. This strategy only works if your child is convinced that they are really receiving your attention. So avoid checking your phone or email during these moments.
Using positive attention as a form of reward can also be an effective way to get them to be more focused and do their work independently. As you will likely be working from home during this period, you child will probably be seeking your attention a lot. By setting it up such that they know that they will obtain your attention after completing their assigned task, they will be more motivated to focus on their work so that they can receive positive attention from you.
When working on tasks, children with ADHD usually struggles with two things:
Getting Started
Getting Distracted
To help children with ADHD get started with their task, one can try the Pomodoro Technique. The pomodoro technique helps your child in getting started with his work as it will breaks long arduous tasks down into shorter intervals of 25 to 45 minutes, making it less daunting for your child. The pomodoro technique also help to let your child know when he should get started with his work. As soon as he sets the timer, he will receive the signal that this is the start of the task, and that he should start working.
The short interval of work, together with the promise of a break at the end of each work interval help to keep your child on task. The short interval of work serves as mini-deadlines for your child, making them feel pressured to stay on task. The break at the end of each interval incentivizes them to stay on task, as it will be seen as a reward for being able to stay on task throughout the entire work interval. You can click on the link below to find out more about the pomodoro technique.
Some of the children with ADHD might also need to fidget before they are able to maintain their focus. Fidgeting serves as a coping mechanism for some of our children with ADHD, to keep their floating attention in check, so that they can stay focused on the task at hand. You should therefore explore the use of fidget toys such as fidget cube, spinners or stress balls with your child, to see if they are able to help him stay focused.
Lastly, children with ADHD might not be able to stay on task as they are unsure of how they should study. It is therefore important to equip them with Productivity Skills, so that they will have a better idea of what they should do when they are told to study. This will in turn help them to stay on task. You can click on the link below to learn more about the various productivity skills which you can equip your child with.
It is important to keep your expectations in check when trying to figure out what work best for your child. It will take some time for your child to get used to the new routines and you may also find out that certain strategy might work well for your child, while anothers might not.
It is helpful to think of this as a process of trial and error. If your child is unable to match your expectation for the first day, you can lower your expectation for the following day and make it more achievable for him. The goal of this is to create a momentum of success for your child, so that he will not feel discouraged and will continue to stick to the routine that was set for him.