Social Relationships

Social Relationships

Helping Teens Develop Healthy Social Relationships

Parents - Teens' relationships with their parents are strongly associated with teens' healthy social development. For example, parent/child relationship is associated with the development of social skills such as conflict resolution and intimacy. Good parent/child relationships also appear to influence the development of other social skills such as relationships with friends and romantic partners. It also affects adolescents' psychological and psychosocial development.

As adolescents mature, their social skills are called upon to form and maintain relationships. The formation and maintenance of these relationships lead to psychological health, improved academic performance, and success in relationships as adults. On the contrary, the absence of these quality relationships is associated with negative outcomes such as delinquency and psychological problems.

Grandparents and Other Adult Family Members - Grandparents may serve as a source of support and influence, as well as provide information about family history and culture. They can bridge the generation gap which so often occurs between older individuals and the young.

Siblings - Interactions with siblings can influence adolescents' relationship styles and whether they engage in delinquent behaviors. Good sibling ties can help protect teens from family stress and may enhance cognitive development. So, allow them to "spar" "squabble" in a healthy manner.

Relationship with Adults outside the Family - Teens' relationship with adults outside their families can promote their social development. Respected older adults can teach social skills, model behavior, give positive or negative reinforcement, and introduce adolescents to diverse social interactions and contexts. These relationships can provide advice, emotional support, companionship, opportunities for socialization, and real-life examples of positive social relationships. Conversely, negative adult relationships can provide teens with negative social relationships.

Teens who have friendships with adults outside their families, feel supported, are more social and less depressed. They also get along better with their parents. One of the most important factors is that the adults are additional figures in the teens' lives with whom he or she can establish a secure emotional bond. Such bonds foster better skills overall through the development of trust, and self-esteem.

Relationship with Peers - Adolescents' friendships with their peers can promote social skills. Through these relationships, teens develop constructive interpersonal skills, independence, positive mental health, and self-confidence. These interactions further help teens learn to make joint decisions, express empathy, and deepen their perspectives. Positive peer relationships seem to discourage aggression, emotional distress, and antisocial behaviors.

Source: Hair, E.C., Jager, J., and Garrett, S.B. (2002) Helping Teens Develop Healthy Social Skills and Relationships: What the Research Shows about Navigating Adolescence. Child Trends Research Briefs.

For students

Open, honest communication should be part of every healthy relationship. Use the guidelines below to open up the channels of communication between you and your partner. If you’re in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, be careful using these tips. You know your relationship best. If any of these tips would put you in danger, don’t try them.

For healthier communication, try to:

• Find the Right Time. If something is bothering you and you would like to have a serious conversation about it, make sure you pick the right time to talk. Don’t interrupt your partner when they’re watching a sports game, TV show, about to go to sleep or stressed about an upcoming test. Tell your partner you would like to talk later and find a time when you’re in the same room and not doing anything important. Don’t start serious conversations in public places unless you feel safe.
• Talk Face to Face. Avoid talking about serious matters or issues in writing. Text messages, letters and emails can be misinterpreted. Talk in person so there aren’t any unnecessary miscommunications.
• Do Not Attack. Even when we mean well, we can sometimes come across as harsh because of our word choice. Using “you” can sound like you’re attacking, which will make your partner defensive and less receptive to your message. Instead, try using “I” or “we.” For example, say “I feel like we haven’t been as close lately” instead of “You have been distant with me.”
• Be Honest. Agree to be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it’s the key to a healthy relationship. Admit that you aren’t always perfect and apologize when you make a mistake instead of making excuses. You will feel better and it will help strengthen your relationship.
• Check Your Body Language. Make eye contact when speaking. Sit up and face your partner. Let your partner know you’re listening. Show them you really care. Don’t take a phone call, text or play a video game when you’re talking. Listen and respond.
• Use the 48 Hour Rule. If your partner does something that makes you angry, you need to tell them about it. But you don’t have to do so right away. If you’re still hurt 48 hours later, say something. If not, consider forgetting about it. But remember your partner can’t read your mind. If you don’t speak up when you’re upset, there is no way for them to apologize or change. Once you do mention your hurt feelings and your partner sincerely apologies, let it go. Don’t bring up past issues if they’re not relevant.

Source:www.loveisrespect.org