The B word…and conferences

The Gifted Guru, Lisa Van Gemert, says that the word “Bored” in parent-teacher conferences is a fighting word, not a beginning of a fruitful conversation. So, how can you work with your student’s teacher to best support your student?

Children (and adults) use the word “bored” to mean lots of other things (too easy work, too difficult, I don’t want to do it, I’m distracted by other things, etc.). Ask your student clarifying questions about when they use the word “bored.” What is an appropriate synonym for what they are feeling at that time? If the work they are being asked to do is truly too easy, find specific and reasonable requests/goals. An example that Van Gemert gives is about whole class directions. The student is able to go work independently with just one time of instructions given (and can read the directions to herself). The parent asked if the teacher could release the students who are ready after one iteration of instructions to go start working, while the teacher then invites students who want more clarification to stay and do some problems together. This request requires no extra preparation needed from the teacher and is beneficial for more than just her student. 

Also, Van Gemert says that it is rarely the top students in class that complain of boredom. Those students use down time or slow time to be creative and think about things. (Like looking at the maps on the walls and memorizing countries and capitals or creating an imaginary world in their heads.) For my (Darby’s) own son when he was in a class with a teacher who taught the whole class like they were all struggling learners, I talked with my son about the life lessons he was learning by being able to sift through all the words coming at him and gleaning the instructions and concepts that he needed for that subject.

(paraphrased from 34 minutes into “Boredom with Lisa Van Gemert” on They’ll Be Fine podcast by the North Carolina Association for the Gifted and Talented)

More about conferences

Often parents ask the teacher what they can do at home to help their children. From the parents’ point of view, this is showing that they are engaged with their children’s learning. Most teachers already have those suggestions either in their conference presentation or in their classroom newsletters/communications. My suggestion is to either (1) show that you read their communication by commenting on something they’ve said in a newsletter or email and thanking them for it and/or (2) asking how you can support the teacher. Possibilities for support can include chaperoning, volunteering in the classroom, volunteering to do clerical work, offering to buy something for the teacher or the classroom, or working on a life skill with your student at home.