One of the most common topics parents bring to our attention is that of engaging with technology. It seems like new apps, new products, and new concerns are popping up every day. We simply cannot avoid technology and its impact upon our kids, so how do we disciple them through an experience that many of us are learning to navigate ourselves? Our main advice to parents would be - (1) be informed, (2) be proactive, (3) be intentional, and (4) be approachable.

Be Informed - The world of technology seems to change daily so it's essential to stay informed. This can be through reading books about the influence of technology on kids, subscribing to newsletters keeping parents up to date about the latest trends in technology, and/or referencing websites that screen new trends in technology. Below we are going to feature some resources that we would recommend to help you stay informed. 

Be Proactive - There are several aspects of being proactive. The first begins with discipling your child to know the truths of the Bible and to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). In his book Honest Talk, John Fort shares that the first voice a child hears about a topic generally becomes the authority on that topic. As parents, we want to be that first voice by guiding children to have a Biblical perspective in how they interact with technology, but also in facilitating discussions about what kids could encounter with technology. Being proactive allows children to be intentional with technology use, but also responsive rather than reactive when their technology use exposes them to something that might be uncomfortable.

Be Intentional - On average children between the ages of 8-12 spend 4-6 hours a day using technology. While some of this is for educational use, too much screen time can lead to sleep problems, lower grades in school, a decrease in social interaction, less activity, mood problems, as well as self-image problems (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2020). Be intentional in setting boundaries on screen time. It's also helpful to be intentional in setting boundaries about what kind of technology your child is allowed to have and consume. Parent controls can be a helpful tool in setting boundaries. 

Be Approachable - Even though you might be informed, proactive, and intentional, it is highly likely your child will encounter something uncomfortable or inappropriate through technology. Oftentimes this exposure is accidental, but sometimes it comes from curiosity. Allow talks about technology to become a frequent topic of discussion with your child. Share some (developmentally appropriate) struggles you might have experienced yourself with technology. When your child makes a poor decision with technology or is accidentally exposed to something questionable, try to be responsive rather than reactive. 

Technology Resources

Helpful Websites to Stay Current

• Protect Young Eyes - an organization that works with parents, schools, and churches to create safer digital spaces. This site offers information and tools for parents to protect young eyes.

• Plugged In - a site produced by Focus on the family that rates and reviews movies, tv, music, games, books, and YouTube channels.

• Common Sense Media - a website that that rates and reviews movies, tv shows, books, games, podcasts, and apps. They also offer helpful information for parents.

• Axis - This website doesn't specifically address technology, but it is a helpful tool to equip parents for conversations with their kids. You can also subscribe to the Culture Translator, which is a weekly email to help you stay up to date on music, movie, TV, and social media trends impacting kids.

 Recently in elementary chapel Mrs. Keene shared a brief (and developmentally appropriate) theology of emotions. She shared that emotions are -

Signals - Emotions can be signals because they show us what we value; what is important to us. 

• For example, if it is important that things are fair and that people follow the rules, cheating might make you upset. So if you are playing GaGa Ball and someone doesn’t go out when they should, you might feel angry. Your anger shows that you value fairness and think that cheating is wrong.

• Another example would be if it’s important to you to be a good friend, and someone says: “You’re mean! You’re not my friend anymore!” you might feel sad and hurt. This shows that you value being a good friend. 

Activators - Emotions can also be activators - they motivate us to act. 

• For example, if you watched the Operation Chrsitams Child video about poor children in other countries, you may have felt sadness and compassion - these emotions may have motivated you to fill a shoebox of things to send to a child in need! 

• Perhaps your little sister is starting Kindergarten, and you feel worried that she may feel nervous or scared. Your worry or concern could motivate you to offer to sit by her on the bus and walk her to her classroom on the first day of school. 

Connectors - Emotions can be connectors - they can help us connect with God and with others. 

• For example, if someone you love is very sick, you may feel worried and scared. Your fear may remind you to pray to God during the day. It may motivate you to read special Bible verses, reminding you that He is with you and helping you experience His comfort. In this way, your emotions help you connect with God.

• Emotions can also help us connect with others. Imagine that your friend walks into school with a sad look on her face. You ask her if something is wrong, and she tells you that her pet died yesterday. As you remember what it felt like when your pet died last summer, you might feel sadness and compassion - you share in this sadness with your friend, offering to comfort her by giving her a hug, playing with her at recess, or sitting by her at lunch. In this way, your sadness and compassion connect you and your friend closer together. 

God created you, every part of you, and giving you emotions was a part of His creative design. Because He is the one who made you, and because Jesus came to earth and experienced life as a human being with emotions, there is no one who better understands how you feel than God. A favorite verses in the Bible tells us to “pour out our hearts” to God (Psalm 62:8) - He wants us to share our feelings with Him. He wants us to use our emotions to show us what’s important, to activate us to do good things, and to connect to others and to Him. 

Zones of Regulation

As beings created in the image of God, we experience emotions. However, God did not intend for our emotions to control us. He instructs us to be discerning of our emotions, self-controlled, and to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit (Jeremiah 17:9, 1 Peter 5:6-11, Galatians 5:22-23). Emotional regulation helps us to recognize our emotions, identify the source, and at times, submit those emotions to God. At LCCS we use an emotional regulation tool called the zones of regulation. The zones of regulation help us to categorize how our brains and bodies feel into different zones. When we understand how our brains and bodies feel, then we are able to learn how to use tools to better regulate ourselves. 

 This year, our school counselors are helping us focus on having a great experience during recess on the playground. To that end, we have developed some Friendship Guidelines for the Playground. The counselors have reviewed these guidelines in classroom lessons, and a new sign displaying these guidelines is on the playground. 

We hope you can check out the guidelines below and reinforce them with your children at home. It is our hope that every student can have fun at recess, while feeling safe and included.

For many years we operated under a fixed mindset where we thought we were either good at something or we were not. Research has shown that our brains are actually malleable and by having a growth mindset we can encounter higher achievement. 

Talking About Growth Mindset

• Use “I Can” statements instead of “I Can’t” by focusing on what can be achieved, setting goals, and working towards them.

• Have discussions using these questions -

  • What is a mistake you learned from this week?

  • What is something you want to learn how to do? How can you get better at that?

  • What is one of the goals you have for this month?

• Tap into the Power of Yet - Discuss the power of not being able to do something YET. Identify something to work on and how to get there. Talk about it together and even post it as a reminder.

What does the Bible say about having a growth mindset?

The principle of having a growth mindset is sprinkled throughout Scripture and it is essential for our own personal spiritual growth. When we encounter our sin nature, we don’t allow it to define us. Instead, we fix our eyes on Jesus and allow Him to grow us. Romans 12:2 talks about being transformed and the renewing of our minds to be more like Christ and Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” 

Growth Mindset Resources

Discuss:

• Discuss the way the characters are showing a growth or fixed mindset in the book.

• Find a character showing perseverance and discuss why it’s important and how you persevere yourself.

• Discuss different goals a character in a book may have and how they could achieve these goals according to what you have read.