The Summer Before College

Welcome to the Hofstra Pride! This is a very exciting time for you and your family. In this section, we will try to anticipate your questions and potential concerns as you prepare with your student for the fall semester.

What does a usual summer before college look like? While every student is different, we have heard some common stories from parents.

All emails from Hofstra are sent to your student. So, what do you do when your student doesn’t check their email or share Hofstra’s communications with you? What should you say to your student when you see the summer coming slowly but surely to its end, and they are not showing any intention of packing for college? Young people consider this last carefree summer unending and want to enjoy every day of it. They are up late with friends (in person or online), testing curfews and family rules, showing you that they are “independent” and “grown up.” But you may rest assured that they are thinking about their first year of college – sometimes with excitement, sometimes with anxiety; their procrastination may be a symptom of this anxiety.

What should you do?

Be a guide, but empower your student to make their own choices. Ask probing questions, rather than directing. There are several important issues you should discuss; do not fret about details, and bear stoically the mood changes. The following pages list a few topics you should consider discussing with your student.

Academic Expectations

Most students want the same academic success for themselves that their parents wish for them. They want to be excited about learning, and they want to do well in college.

The way you talk with your student about academic expectations depends on what kind of learner they are. You know your student best.

If they are hard workers and are always on top of their work, a simple “I know you will do well” will suffice. If they are more laid-back, perhaps it would be a good idea that you both agree on an acceptable level of academic effort for the first year. Please be aware that the college learning environment is different from high school; the adjustment may result in lower grades than in high school, especially in the first year. Are they working hard for that C, attending every class, submitting work on time, joining study groups, using tutoring services, and visiting the professor during office hours? If so, you should both be proud of their hard work, and encourage your student to meet with their advising dean, or success advisor, who will then work with them to find classes that are a better match for their strengths. But, if your student can’t tell you that they worked as hard as possible, your conversation should focus on resources, motivation, and time management.

To mature into independent adults, your student will need to take responsibility for their own academic choices, including choosing a major and bearing the consequences of those choices. Only if they own those decisions may you count on academic success and personal growth. Students’ grades are not always an indicator of true learning and rich academic experience. Passion for learning and engagement in the intellectual community are important. You may ask your student these questions: What do you hope to accomplish in college? What are you most excited about learning? How do you think high school differs from college?

Later in this handbook, you will learn about the support structure Hofstra offers to your student. You may always call us to ask any questions and give us your input about your student. Most of the time, we’ll be able to answer your questions. For us to discuss the details of your student’s records with you, on the other hand, ask your student to complete the FERPA Authorization Form online through the Hofstra portal at my.hofstra.edu (MyAccount).

Money Matters

Paying for college usually represents a commitment from the family, and most students take some financial responsibility for their education. It is very important that your student is aware of all the costs, family finances, and your expectations of what part of the cost they will need to bear. Sitting down with your student and putting all the numbers on paper is a good start. Don’t forget the considerable cost of books, fees, recreation, and transportation.

Be ready to renegotiate the budget as the year progresses. Some students track their monthly expenses so they are aware of what they spend; that way, they can plan and manage their resources better. Students interested in working on campus to support their education are encouraged to visit Hofstra’s Student Employment Office or hofstra.edu/studentemployment to learn about on-campus jobs for students.

Credit cards are convenient and necessary in emergencies. However, credit card companies are aggressive in courting college students, and some students go into unmanageable debt. Please talk with your student about high credit card interest rates and late fees. Also explain how late payments will negatively affect their credit ratings.

Students must beware of other choices that can affect finances, such as online gambling, shopping sprees, and eating and traveling off campus. Credit cards may be maxed out easily, and students may find themselves in more debt than they realize.

Finally, if your student is bringing a car to Hofstra, talk with them about insurance and maintenance costs and what part is their responsibility. A good alternative is to enroll in Hofstra’s Zipcar car-sharing program (zipcar.com/hofstra).

Social and Personal Choices

Talk openly and in detail with your student about your values and expectations for their behavior at college. Even though young adults will not happily sit (again) through a conversation about difficult topics such as alcohol and drug use, affirmative consent in sexual relations, healthy relationships, personal safety, and other social choices, your guidance will stay with them. The sudden freedom at college can lead students to forget these responsibilities for themselves and for their college community. Ask your student to read and remember Hofstra’s Code of Community Standards (hofstra.edu/guidetopride), and stress that living and learning in a community carries both privileges and responsibilities.

You have probably been talking to your student about the hazards of alcohol for quite a while. You may not realize it, but students consider parental disapproval of underage drinking as a key reason they choose not to drink (SAMHSA, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). Reminders of your expectations for the university setting are important. Empower your student with confidence that it is all right to say no and to rely on friends to stay safe during and after events and parties. Please visit hofstra.edu/fo for our guide to approaching difficult conversations.

For students living on campus, there are other adjustments that you should discuss as a family. Living with a roommate may sometimes be a source of frustration, but it is also an opportunity to learn how to negotiate and adapt. Hofstra tries to match roommates with similar habits and interests, but it is inevitable that some roommates may have a hard time getting along. In addition, many new students form an opinion about a future roommate based on a first impression or just by looking at their social media profiles. The key to getting to know a roommate is communication, and this communication should be ongoing and over a period of time. Please remind your student that they cannot discover who their roommate is unless they talk with each other openly and honestly. Listening well and trying to see each other’s point of view will help. Having a roommate who is different from your student will teach new perspectives and enrich your student’s social growth and skills.

Communication

Talking with your student about the method of communication you will use and how often you will communicate with them may help establish healthy boundaries and ensure that you are communicating regularly, while still allowing your student time to acclimate to their new environment. Every student and family is different. While many families communicate daily by phone or text, some students may enjoy receiving the occasional “snail mail” package.

In addition to updates about life on campus, will you expect your student to show you their grades each term? Will they share their credit card statements, so you’ll know they are learning how to manage their finances? Parents often call us to find out how their students are doing in their courses, and our initial questions are: Have you talked to your student, and has your student met with each of their professors and/or advisors? We encourage your student to complete the FERPA Authorization Form for you and each family member to whom they want to give access. Your student should handle issues on their own. However, in emergency situations, FERPA authorization allows you to talk to us abut the details of your student's record. Students can give access to family members by logging in to the Hofstra portal at my.hofstra.edu and selecting MyAccount in the upper right corner