New Beginnings

“We send our children off with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety, a sense of loneliness and freedom, fantasy and reality. Our child-rearing days are ending. Our children are launched. We anticipate dealing with our own reactions to their leaving — loss of companionship, financial belt-tightening, a quiet house — but we are caught off guard by the continuing demands and concerns that we discover as each week and month goes by after the launching. ... We shift gears constantly as we meet our offspring in an elusive dance of change. We find ourselves relentlessly retracing old patterns one week and discovering new ways of getting along the next. ... And so as they struggle with turmoil of conflicting emotions about leaving, we often are flooded with conflicting feelings about being left.”

— From Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years,
Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger, 2016

*The following section is inspired by, and, in a few instances, quotes ideas from the books Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger (2016) and You’re on Your Own (But I Am Here if You Need Me) by Marjorie Savage (2020).It does not intend to cover all issues or imply that the problemslisted must concern all families of incoming Hofstra students.

Your child is starting college. This is a momentous occasion for your family, a new period in your relationship with your child. It is exciting, fulfilling, and amazing to see our children embarking on a journey of their own. It is also sometimes daunting to contemplate that they will need to make decisions without your input. But mostly, you are very proud and a little bit puzzled at how quickly your babies are becoming adults. To drive this point home, from now on, this handbook and all University staff members will refer to your children as “students,” palpably noting your children’s status as emerging adults responsible for their college education.

All of us at Hofstra know that even though new students are learning to be more independent, they still need their parents and other members of their family.

They need you to listen, guide, and love them more than ever. The ways of doing that may be different from before, though. We want to encourage you to support your students as they learn to resolve, on their own, any issues that arise, make decisions, and explore new opportunities. At the same time, the Dean of Students Office is always here for you: for any questions, any concerns.

In the following pages, we will describe and demystify whatmay happen during the summer before the first year and duringthe first few weeks of college. Let’s turn a new page in your lifeas parents, guides, and caretakers. It is a great new chapter, shared by all parents and families of college-bound students.