CULTURE

Anonymous Harbor City Italy Trip Attendee

During my trip to Italy, I noticed many large differences between the culture there, and the culture here in the  United States. This came as no surprise to me. Italy has a beautiful culture. They take lots of time for meals; meals last much longer there than here. Here in the United States I often find myself rushing through meals, trying to get to the next “thing” I have to do in my day. Whereas in Italy, time is taken out for every meal. They enjoy their meals instead of simply slamming a protein shake down and calling that breakfast. I think that this is a very beautiful and healthy part of their culture. I believe that this adds a very healthy relationship with food. It is a good way to “train” children into eating properly. Not forcing meals down, but simply enjoying every bite and moment. Another difference that I saw was coffee drinking. There they will have a shot of espresso to wake up; here in the U.S we very slowly will sip, cup after cup of coffee. They also did not seem to have very much meat in Italy. Most of the meals that I had in Italy were very carb-heavy. I couldn't find out the reason for this, however I did see it as a big difference. In the United States, we have hamburgers, hot dogs, sloppy joes, etc – tons of different kinds of very meaty foods. Where in Italy I would find more breaded foods: pastas, pastries, pizza. etc. They cook much cleaner there too. All of the food I had tasted healthy, and felt the same to my body as well. You will never find chips or soda there with tons of food dye and preservatives. A bag of doritos there tasted completely different from a bag of them here. I also thought It was cool how healthy even the sodas tasted. For example, Fanta tastes like carbonated orange juice. It was amazing.

STRIKING BACK AGAINST A.I: THE TAR PIT

Lucian M. Pianfetti

It’s no secret that companies such as OpenAI and DeepSeek have been scouring the web for years, constantly scouring for new data to fuel their burgeoning large-language models (LLMs), better known by the more marketable term “A.I.”, as much of a misnomer as it is. This process seems unstoppable, tramples upon the concept of intellectual property itself, and has been cultivating a culture within some people of “just ask ChatGPT” to solve even the most basic of problems. How could this even begin to be countered?

The answer may potentially lie in a special form of website referred to as a tar pit trap, named for the asphalt deposits known for swallowing up animals unfortunate enough to enter them. How they operate is quite simple; the website generates random, unusable strings of text accompanied intermittently by links. These simply lead to other useless strings which then link to more and more, recursively. Programmed to map out and record websites in their entirety, the data scraper bot will quickly find itself stuck in a loop that necessitates human intervention to escape. In large data scraping operations, these tar pits can go undetected for long periods of time, with one pit developer estimating potentially as long as a few months. One such example is Nepenthes, a downloadable software developed by the anonymous organization ZADZMO, which operates as I just described. Nepenthes derives its random text generation program (dubbed the “Markov Babbler”) from a text document supplied by the user in a language of their choice; it then uses this to generate the text and links that keeps the data scraper occupied. Already, these are seeing some use, as a few websites have tested redirecting suspected bots to tar pits of their own. Whether the pits succeed to attain widespread, effective use however remains to be seen.

THE ART OF ITALY
Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Italy is one of the most divine places I have ever stepped foot into. Everywhere that you look, you see roads lined with orange trees, birds and nature. Beautifully colored houses and walkways. Vines draping against houses, apartments, and offices. Mountains drowning in greenery, spilling out into the towns nearby. Lovely painted flower boxes sit in many windows, next to the laundry lines drying the previous day's washed clothing. The air is light here. The clear green/blue water, filling the gaps of the land. There is art all around. Every building is adorned with carvings and lovely structures, aesthetically appealing to the human eye. You can feel the history among every part of Italy. Old statues and bricks line the walkways. Ancient ornate chapels, covered ceiling to floor in beautiful art depicting the religious beliefs in Italy. The entirety of Italy seems to be draped in art and nature. Inside in and out. Almost every building is aesthetically pleasing to look at, houses are painted many different colors, soft but moody reds, oranges, and yellows. The color of the buildings is highly complimented by the nature draping among it, long vines crawling along the crack in the plaster. This is a place full of life. Even the alleyways are picturesque. Bridges are full of carvings and ornate statues, overlooking the beautiful buildings. What a beautiful place. What a divine paradise. The buildings have beautiful carvings in them, showing years of craftsmanship. The buildings are huge as well, reaching well into the sky. The city Florence, has a gorgeous river running through it. With lovely bridges crossing from side to side. These bridges however, are not for cars but for people and business. One bridge was covered from end to end with jewelry shops. People crowded every spare meter of the bridge. Beauty is a veil, and it rests over all of Italy. 

HARBOR CITY

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

19th-century plumbing supply warehouse in downtown Duluth, which was renovated to provide expandable instructional spaces. Harbor City had to have a goal like every other school, and it chose to help students get into a college, so it became a college prep school. The school has won many medals since it opened, and it was eligible to display a U.S. Best High School Award Badge, which recognizes educational excellence. So, now we go to the ranks of the school. Harbor City is ranked 1,382nd in national rankings. 20th place for a Minnesota high school. Number one in Duluth is number 229 in Charter High School. Harbor City significantly outperforms the state average in academic proficiency across all subjects and grade levels. In the 2023 to 2024 school year, the school had 89% of students proficient or better in mca Reading for 10th grade, compared to the state average of 52%. In mca Math for 11th grade, the school had 50% proficiency, compared to the state average of 34%. The school also maintains high graduation rates, ranging from 80% to 86% over the past five years. 

WHITE-TAILED DEER

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Some facts about the familiar white tailed deer

White tailed deer are the most widespread ungulate (hoofed animal) in North America, most of the population lives in Texas.

Their trademark white tail is used for signaling danger to other deer.

In 1890 the whitetail’s population dropped to 300,000 due to excessive hunting. Now the population is at around 35 million.

They can run at 30 mph and can jump 8 feet high.

A male whitetail can grow to 300 pounds, 6 feet long and 4 feet tall.

Deer only live to around 5 years old in the wild, but can live up to 14 years in captivity.

RED PICK-UP

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Red rust round the edging, tools at my feet.

Follow a trail of dirt, deer running free,

Trees surround me, wind moving softly through,

He's there in the front seat, sorting out tools,

Callused hands and a flannel, boots hard as steel,

My father is of the woods, and his pick-up brings him here. 

ART BLOCK

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

If you are an artist, as many people at Harbor City are, you may experience times when you are unable to make art even if you may want to. This could be because of a variety of reasons, but it happens to all artists at some point. No one is constantly producing art that they adore and are proud of 24/7, and it's unrealistic to think that everything we make has to be perfect and aligned with the ideal art we truly want to make. Here are some things that you can do/think about when you're experiencing an art block, hopefully they can help you start to create again. 

Try a new medium. Sometimes as artists and people we tend to stick to what we are good at as well as what feels comfortable, and are afraid of trying new things. If you have access to different art making materials, try some out in whatever way you want. This can open up so many new doors and can be exciting. 

Work with multiple mediums and a variety of materials, try not to limit yourself. Experiment with gluing things to the page instead of drawing them right on, sew a button on the paper, write a poem and cover it with watercolor, use a box as a canvas. Even if you don't like how these pieces turn out, it can be fun to try them and see what you come up with. 

Try making art without thinking, let your hand draw lines however it wants. Similarly, start your art off by telling yourself it doesn't have to be good by the end, and that it's okay if you dislike the outcome. It can still be a good release of energy or emotion, and making art can still help you decompress from a day or sort out your thoughts. 

Generate ideas for art through what you feel, think, and see. We all do this already when making art, but writing these ideas down and capturing concepts can help formulate a plan for an art piece. You could start by making art based off of your camera roll,  notes in your journal or notesapp, and then maybe make a narrative of how someone or something made you feel. Also, remember it's okay to take breaks from making art and that you are a great artist.

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Mental health awareness month is about understanding and promoting positive attitudes towards mental health, as well as reducing the stigma surrounding mental health, and encouraging individuals to seek help when they need it with no shame or stigma. The goal is making as many people as possible feel less alone. Awareness and education play a crucial role in reducing stigma, encouraging people to seek help when needed, as well as fostering empathy and understanding as a society. 

          Facts about mental health: 

Approximately 1 in 6 youth in the U.S. have a mental health condition, and of those only half received treatment. 

Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. have a mental health condition and of those only 44% receive treatment. 

50% of all lifelong mental illnesses begin by 14 and 75% by age 24. 

Suicide is the second leading cause of death worldwide for people between the ages of 15-29 years old. 

Members of the LQBTQ+ community are twice as likely as straight individuals to have a mental health condition. 

70-90% of people who seek and receive proper treatment for mental health disorders witness a significant reduction in symptoms. 

How to support someone struggling with their mental health: One of the most important aspects of supporting someone struggling with their mental health is to lead by example and make sure you are taking the best care of yourself as you possibly can. As well as creating a safe and supportive environment, offering practical support (Ex. help create a routine, encourage healthy habits, offer to help with tasks), listening to them, encourage professional help (Remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness), respect their boundaries & privacy (Don't push someone who's not ready to talk), and please educate yourself (Learn about mental health & access reliable sources).   

If you are struggling with your mental health remember you are not alone, and you will be okay. 

Text or call 988- the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline- if you or someone you know needs help. This offers 24/7, confidential support for people in distress. 

MOVE

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Moving on through the motions

And up through the memories

The magic of mending, the pain of the cracks in the seams, I try to follow on through the chaos,

But the words they tread softly, and flaunt every flaw like a king,

Of his castle, with a queen of his own to depart, from his mistress we all know the story, the love that gets lost and the burnt simple memories of love that got lost, and a king and a queen,

Move on through the motion 

And over the chaos, the magic of mending, will mend you right back to the start. 

PANCAKES VS WAFFLES (MY OPINION)

JJH

Ah yes, the age old question. A debate as old as time itself. Pancakes versus waffles: which is better? Can waffle fans and pancake fans see eye to eye? Let’s investigate. Let's start with the pros and cons of both. In my opinion, the only real main difference between the two is texture. consistency, and very occasionally, just sometimes, the taste. Pancakes can outshine waffles in the way that banana pancakes exist. I, for one, love a well crafted banana pancake. But specifically the best banana pancakes have banana mixed into the batter, and NOT simply laid out on top of a regular old pancake. This is essential. The banana pancake needs to simply have enough flavor to the point where syrup is unnecessary. All you need is butter and then you're all set. As for waffles, you could sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it instead of syrup. I do pride myself on my ability to find alternatives for syrup. Do I dislike maple syrup? No, not necessarily. Although, I do find it a tad too sweet at times.

But now to the matter at hand. Waffles? Or pancakes? Texture-wise, I think that waffles can be fun to eat because of the unique combination of soft and slightly crispy, while pancakes are usually just soft and mushy. Though the fun thing about pancakes is that because of the floppiness of them, you can roll it up and put anything inside of it. I recommend sausage personally. Waffles cannot physically do this. Waffles, however, do possess convenient little pockets and trenches that perfectly capture syrup and melted butter. Pancakes lack this feature entirely. Now, with all this being said, what is the best breakfast meal? 

The answer is:

French toast. French toast is better than both of them.

END OF YEAR SLIP
Sydney Anderson

With the end of yet another school year rolls around, it's easy to slowly lose focus and let schoolwork become an afterthought. While thinking of what's next, be it just looking forward to the summer break, getting ready for a further education, or other potential stressors is important, it may be more beneficial to take a step back and remember that those things can be dealt with over the summer, or during breaks in the day. School work has deadlines much closer than you think, prioritize what you need to get done the soonest, then let your mind start wondering onto what comes next. If you need some advice, here is some of the things I do to ensure I keep things organized:

Check your Google Classroom to-do list!!! I can’t stress this enough, it really helps to keep track of what needs to be done. While there, check your missing work list as well.

Check if your teacher has a list of what is being done that week. Typically this will either be on a whiteboard or Google Classroom.

For the out-of-school things plaguing your mind, make a list of what you need to get done, mark their dates on a calendar, and work on it during CP, study hall, after school, or on the weekends. 

Take breaks, a busy mind is unfocused, dedicate a specific time for a break to create a routine.

Drink water! And eat meals! It's easy to get distracted and forget, but having stuff in your system helps keep your productivity up.

Socialize! Being productive doesn’t mean you have to be alone! Join study groups (the zen den has some good snacks during their study time), get together with some friends, or just find one person to hang out with and help each other get some stuff done. 

ADOPT, DON’T SHOP

To learn more about their available pets shown, call the adoption staff at 218-722-5341 starting at 10:30 a.m. If you have an interest in one specific animal, please call early and often, as their adoptions are done on a first-come-first-served basis. 

THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

As many of you know the ice bucket challenge is recirculating as it did if you remember in 2014. In 2014 the ice bucket challenge was started by Pat Quinn and Pete Frates to raise awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease, and help find a cure. ALS is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, leading to muscle weakness and eventually paralysis. It is a fatal disease with no cure, and the average life expectancy after diagnosis is 2 to 5 years. In 2014 the ice bucket challenge raised over $115 million in donations to ALS research, care, and support. As well as raised worldwide awareness. 

Today, in 2025, students attending the University of South Carolina in the Mental Illness Needs Discussion club (MIND club), led by Wade Jefferson, have partnered with a mental health nonprofit organization Active Mind. The goal today is to break the stigma surrounding mental health as well as to support suicide prevention efforts, as Wade lost two friends himself to suicide. So far almost $300,000 has been raised and donated to support mental health awareness. Bringing awareness, breaking stigma, and starting the conversation are all huge steps in the right direction for the future of mental health and ALS awareness as a whole.

Both of these topics are very important, and they need and deserve recognition from the world so we can best support those who are struggling. As today's ice bucket challenge is about mental health, I think it is also important to shed light on ALS and not forget why the ice bucket challenge was started in the first place. Awareness and education truly do make the world of a difference. If you are doing or did the ice bucket challenge don't forget to educate yourself on both ALS and mental health, as this is not just a trend. But a cry to be seen, understood, and taken seriously by the world.

DOWNTOWN DULUTH

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

I have spent my past four highschool years, and many years as a young child roaming downtown Duluth minnesota. I have noticed many things during my time spent here. I would like to highlight both the negatives and the positives of the city center of one of America's most beautiful towns. Duluth has many issues as does any other city. Drugs and depression roam our streets just as often as you see a pigeon fly overhead here. You look up and see shoes on electric wires, you look down and find needle caps, trash, blood, feces, etc. there are plenty of things that I have noticed that I would call unattractive in this cluttered city. However I have never been able to discount the beauty of this area. I have found myself in many uncomfortable situations with the people of downtown Duluth; opening stairwell doors to find people asleep on the ground in front of me. Folks nodding off on the curb. Being followed and addressed by old men. However I have also had very lovely interactions. Kind comments from strangers. A smile from a passerby walking to their workplace. A flower growing through the cracks of the broken sidewalks. The sun glimmered through the windows and reflected itself upon the building's walls. There are many things here that I find so full of resounding beauty. I also notice the gorgeous architecture. The history lining the buildings of downtown duluth. Throughout my time here I have grown to notice it all. The beauty and the ugliness of downtown Duluth, and the balance that rests between. There is life to be found even in the deathly desperation of some. There is existing hope even for the people who feel none. I can only hope that over time we can find ways to completely “beautify” our downtown Duluth. However, a part of me wonders if that beauty would not be there if the ugliness were not.

CHEMICALS IN MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS

Calliope

If you menstruate, you most likely use numerous menstrual products per month, whether that's sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual disks, menstrual cups, or period underwear. You may or may not be aware that many of these products (primarily the ones manufactured with cotton or single use products, such as pads and tampons) could contain certain amounts of chemicals, such as PFAS polyfluoroalkyl substances, lead, phthalates, fragrance chemicals, volatile organic compounds, and more chemicals that may be harmful to your body. Per and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) are ‘forever chemicals’ that are human made, often used for products that manufacturers want to have grease and water-resistant properties. “Fragrance” is not technically a specific ingredient, but more of an umbrella term. Companies are not required to disclose exactly what fragrance is in the ingredient list, and it's often just made up of chemicals. Some examples of the effects of these chemicals on the human body include decreased fertility, high blood pressure for pregnant people, increased risk of cancer, hormonal distribution, reduced effectiveness of the immune system, etc. Although the amount of chemicals in certain studies has been measurable, it doesn't seem to be a substantial amount. Vaginal and vulvar tissue is highly permeable, which means it is easy for liquids or gasses to pass through it. This means that people who use tampons specifically are at more of a risk of absorbing the chemicals, depending on which brand they use. A systematic review published September 24, 2023, provides an analysis on the small amount of research that has been done in regard to testing menstrual products for chemicals. The review was written by Joanna Marroquin, Marianthi-Anna Kiomourtzoglou, Alexandra Scranton, and Anna Z. Pollack, all of which are associated with a university or a department of health. It addresses studies conducted all around the world, and just three types of products were tested- pads, tampons, and panty liners. The article states that all of the products tested found some level of chemicals within them, although there were no consistent trends. The number of variables such as the different countries they tested in, and the types of products make it hard to measure any trends or even the level of chemicals within them. There's also a lack of research surrounding this issue and not a lot of studies to go off of, but the point is that chemicals should not be in products that we put in or on our bodies, no matter the amount or type. It's frustrating that period products can be expensive, and not everyone has access to them- let alone products that use more gentle, organic, and chemical free materials. If you're interested in learning more about this, there are some resources out there such as a site called ‘Mamavatian’ which is basically concerned mothers who have done testing on products for chemicals and have created lists of which products are safer and better for our bodies. Everyone deserves access to menstrual products that can take care of their needs and not harm their body, as well as transparency about what they are putting in or onto their bodies!! 

SPRING LIKE

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

You are lovely as the springtime, your words flutter soft in the wind

Your laughter rings out, like the birds coming back,

Your comfort wraps around me like the leaves that come back to adorn the vivid green trees.

Wrapping everything in a color of peace. 

You are as colorful as the spring. 

ASSISI

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Nestled in the rolling green hills of Italy, look up past the trees, 

Far up near the skyline, follow the breeze,

Flowers in boxes, narrow and decorated alleys, 

Shops carved into walls, vines racing up the buildings.

BIGFOOT IN DULUTH

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Have you ever heard that some people in Duluth saw a bigfoot around Duluth? The giant, hairy creature that lives in the forests for so long, maybe one day they will decide to come out from the woods and attack us! There’s been a rumor that many people claim that they have seen something big and not sure what creature it is in the wooded areas around our city. It looks kind of human but way much bigger than human so they are really sure that it’s not human, Bigfoot may appear some days in Duluth, especially around the Canal Park. These rumors make a lot of fun predictions and a little bit of curiosity among folks in Duluth. Some people say that Bigfoot might be sneaking along our lakewalk or peeking out from the pine trees.

One woman who claim that she really saw a bigfoot while walking her dog on one evening, as they walk along the Lakewalk after sun went down her dog suddenly get very excited and pulling her toward the edge of the trees, that when she saw it, a huge, dark and hairy creature moving fast through the trees. She is very sure that it’s not a deer from the size that is too big and wide to be a deer, but also can’t be her neighbor, taking his late night walk. Several folks in our community also have the same story of seeing huge, dark hairy things moving in the woods too. Some people even find unusually big footprints on the ground near Chester Creek.

STUDENT ARTIST OF THE MONTH: ORION CANNON

CROW FUN FACTS

By Jade Larson

Did you know that crows are very intelligent and do a lot more than you might think? They have many behaviors that parallel humans and are, arguably as intelligence is a hard thing to rank, the smartest animal other than certain primates. They’re cognitive abilities are on par with that of a gorilla. They even hold funerals, yes crows do mourn. When a murder of crows finds one of their group dead, they gather around the dead crow and caw. They also have incredible memory and facial recognition skills. If you do something nice for a crow they will remember and they’ll remember if you do something they don’t like too; crows hold grudges! They can also pass this information onto their social group and it can even pass down to generations. If you were mean to a crow their grandcrow might not like you! 

Crows are very curious as well, while it is a myth that they collect or like shiny things specifically, they do enjoy inspecting and messing around with small items. If you live by crows, consider leaving out some food or little trinkets, and as they have a great memory, they may even return the favor and leave you something in return, this doesn't always happen and usually only does after you’ve established a relationship in feeding them for a long time, but quite a few people do experience this. If they do bring you something it could be anything from a random key to a twig or bone.

 Another fascinating ability of the crow is tool use. In a trial, a crow named Betty was able to pick up a wire, bend it on one   end with a nearby object, creating a hooked tool, she then used it to hoist up a container of food that was in a plastic tube. Betty was not a special crow either. The study took place in 2002 and the findings surprised scientists and led them to observe crows more in the wild. They found that for New Caledonian crows , which is what Betty was, and quite a few other crow species, yet not to the same extent, was just an everyday part of their life, they are virtually all capable of it and use it all the time to make things easier. Just like us! 

ORANGE IN ITALY

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

Lining up the streets, as people pass them by,

Fruit so luscious my sight does not believe my eye,

There's a tree for every person, every plot,

Every square inch a bit of nature, a piece of beauty has been left there I thought,

How lovely, the nature that's here,

Abundance of green, orange, and color rests here.

The orange fruit on the tree, and one falls to the ground,

I reach to touch one, and feel the shell,

A orange from the street, the streets of rome,

What a moment, what a place people must love to call home,

I remove my hand and take in the glamour, the love of a city,

The love of sacred nature. That rests here completely.

WHAT TO DO THIS SUMMER?

Soren Brown

What should you do with this summer? I’m sure a few people wonder what to do with summer break, of course some will have their time occupied already with jobs and activities, but I’m sure some have no clue what to do, so I’m going to give you some ideas to think over. Well I’m quite sure that I’ll be playing too many video games and lounging around will be a majority of my summer, but I do think getting out to do some things is important. First off: since we live in the great lakes region I’d say it’s a great idea to dip your feet in the water or stroll along a beach, or maybe just enjoy the view of the lake from the hilltop. You could also head up to Enger tower for a relaxing hike or light walk through the wooded area and visit Duluth’s peace bell in the park surrounding the area, which was gifted to us by our sister city Ohara, Japan, after we returned a bell we stole in WW2. Some of the events this summer: on July 5th-6th the Duluth Airshow will be held at the Duluth International Airport with a powerful line-up of planes consisting of: The Blue Angels, F-22 Demo Team, F-35 Demo Team, and the B-25 Miss Mitchell being some of the planes to soar through the skies that day. On July 16th the Duluth Bayfront Reggae and World Music festival will be held at the Bayfront Festival Park, there will be a wide variety of music and food available there, this will be the 16th annual show, and you should definitely check it out.

NEPTUNE

Soren Brown

The furthest planet in our solar system, a blue ball of gas and ice named Neptune, is named after the Roman god of the sea. Neptune is the 4th largest planet in the solar system, measuring at 2.941 billion mi², it’s pretty massive compared to Earth. With a density of roughly 1.64 grams for every cubic centimeter, it’s lighter than Earth in that sense, but that doesn’t change the fact that you could fit around 57 Earths inside Neptune. Of course, some may or may not know this, but Neptune is actually not all that blue. In the images widely shown, they’re oversaturated compared to the actual planet's hue, which is a pale bluish-gray, still brighter than Uranus, its closest neighboring planet. Now, what gives it the bluish color? It’s the gases on the planet, primarily methane that gives Neptune its color, but other gases are also hydrogen, the most prominent gas on Neptune, and helium. Neptune is also quite cold because of it’s distance from the Sun, at an average of about -350F its extremely cold and not the ideal vacation spot for the family, and not only is it cold, it’s extremely windy at speeds roughly around 1200 MPH, nd on Earth it already becomes dangerous for humans at 30=40 MPH wind with freezing temps, so not very sustainable to live there. The only dedicated mission to Neptune is actually the Voyager 2 spacecraft which was launched in 1977 and was the sister spacecraft to the Voyager 1, when the Voyager 2 did it’s only pass by of Neptune it managed to take some photos of this desolate planet, and the ones it took were dull gray-blue so I suppose we have to thank oversaturation since those photos turned brilliant blue afterwards. Anyways, thank you for reading, and please make Pluto a planet.

THE MEMETIC SUCCESS OF “A MINECRAFT MOVIE”

Lucian M. Pianfetti

“Flint and steel!” “This is a crafting table!” “Chicken Jockey!” If you’ve been around Harbor City for the past few weeks or so, you’ve probably heard phrases such as these repeated ad nauseam, and even outside of the school chances are you’ve seen the persistent repetition of these phrases across social media. This unique form of brain rot has developed from the meteoric, if largely ironic, rise in popularity of “A Minecraft Movie”, the long-awaited film adaptation of the popular multiplayer game released in 2011. How and why?

This trend began when the first trailer for the film released, wherein Jack Black’s role as player character Steve was unveiled. From the first moment, it was clear this would not be a movie to be enjoyed for any genuine quality, and in a way it felt as though the movie recognized that too. Black’s line delivery proved highly quotable, and as more trailers dropped a trend of quoting or editing these phrases online developed, particularly the notorious “Chicken Jockey,” uttered by Black when a disturbing CGI rendition of a baby zombie is dropped from a crate onto the back of a chicken, who promptly attacks Jason Mamoa’s character. This is the general trend for most memetic quotes from the movie; overexaggerated namedrops by Jack Black of Minecraft items, blocks, and mobs. The ironic enjoyment only skyrocketed when days before the release of the movie in theaters an unfinished work draft of the movie was leaked, which unveiled much of the rest of the film in a stunningly absurd state of unfinishedness.

This insanity would continue into release week, with moviegoers swarming theaters to loudly applaud Jack Black’s standout vocal performance with each of his notorious lines, going so far as to give standing ovations and spill popcorn and drinks all over the floors and screen, much to the chagrin of management and janitors of theaters nationwide. These actions have led many theaters to issue notices warning against this behavior, though the behavior will likely continue in some capacity until the film exits its box office run, where it has already grossed over half a billion dollars in revenue.

MINECRAFT MOVIE REVIEW

Soren Brown

A Minecraft Movie. Many were surprised when the trailer was originally released mid-last year. Since then, it has received countless negative reactions and an influx of memes. Although reactions were mixed, many still waited in anticipation for its release on April 4th, 2025. Many flooded the theaters to watch it, with some going multiple times with chaos rampant during showtime when previously memed quotes from early trailers were said on the big screen. As people threw popcorn and drinks, brought live chickens, and set off fireworks, one thing stayed the same: the absolute ridiculous feel of the movie. The whole movie is based around Steve, the basic skin in the game and face of the Minecraft franchise. Steve is played by Jack Black, along with Jason Mamoa, Sebastian Hansen, Emma Myers, and others, throughout this movie the goal is to find a way to escape from the world they had been transported to, through many trials and tribulations, along with quite a few laughs they must eventually come face to face with a great evil, but that’s saved for when you watch the movie, at least if you decide to. Although many consider this movie to be a joke and a desperate grab for money, I found the crazy antics of Jack Black and the goofy role Jason Mamoa had to be a breath of fresh air after the movies of late, no real plot or serious acting, just good ol’ fun with a twist of being based on a game which was a highlight of many peoples early gaming experience and throughout all of this it was a great experience that I believe deserves the good reviews, so I believe the Minecraft movie realistically deserves 3-4 out of 5 stars, but for my own enjoyment it will stay a positive 5 out of 5.

WHY A GAMING PC IS BETTER 

Anonymous Harbor Citizen

They are better because you can have tons of modded games. A modded game means you can change and add almost anything to a game. As an example, you can add better graphics or change a character.

More game variety. Steam is a website that lets you download games. Almost all the games are available on Steam. Steam is only available on PCs. 

They run most games better. A gaming PC runs most games better than other systems due to its superior processing power, and customizable hardware.

They are much stronger than most other game systems. Gaming PCs are much stronger than most other consoles because they offer more powerful hardware and the ability to upgrade components. 

PCs have better graphics. PCs offer better graphics than most consoles, thanks to high-end GPUs.

THE DEATH OF COMEDY

Jocelyn Petrovffsky

“Watch out for that first step, it’s a doozy!” As someone who grew up watching comedic tv shows, movies, sketches and original specials I had the bright idea to write a commentary article on why I believe pure comedic media is a dead art. Unfortunately, what I didn’t foreshadow, is that this would be an absolute pain to write. There are a lot of ideas to discuss here, so many examples to make and weirdly a lot of politics. I’ve been trying to find some way to condense all my jumbled thoughts into one short article, but I don’t think I can, at least fully. 

Comedy used to be the genre, especially back in the ‘90s. Studios left, and right were producing fast paced joke-a-minute flicks. Scripts were clever, actors were eager to participate, and the audience was loving it! Now, in the year 2025, all we get is the occasional 90-minute comedy produced by a billion-dollar studio written by a group of 50-year-old men pandering to a teenage audience. Not exactly a positive shift, eh? As you can probably tell the film industry is ever changing, and genre popularity is not immune to all that change.

My most feasible conclusion for the proposed “death of comedy” is society's newly founded love for satirical media. Instead of creating new comedy; expanding on it at its core, we’ve decided it’s better to focus on making fun of the past. Don’t get me wrong, satire has been the foundation for a lot of comedy, but it gets tiring when satire is the only form of comedy we get. To get this point across let's take a look at the highest grossing movies of last year (2024). Off the top 10 only one is truly a comedy: Deadpool & Wolverine, and guess what? The Deadpool franchise is very notable: satire. (there are technically other comedies on the list but they are all animated kids' films. specifically, I'm complaining about the loss of cult-following YA comedy.)

“Horror-comedy” has especially fallen to the satire plague. So much of modern horror is poking fun at the genre's old “camp” era. And I say we can blame this all on ‘Scream’; wonderful franchise but the damage it has caused in the horror sphere is irreparable. Back to that “highest grossing films of 2024” example; the highest grossing horror of last year was Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Which is a horror-comedy founded on satire. You see my reserves here? The next highest grossing horror of last year, coming in at number 21 (8 places below Beetlejuice Beetlejuice) is the newest instalment of the alien franchise so I guess we still got some hope.

I guess my point here is that we need to have more fun. Movies like “Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” “Caddyshack,” “Click,” and literally any Jim Carrey movie ever are, unfortunately, a dead art. And that sucks! Studios no longer care about producing silly mid-budget movies; it doesn’t really turn over a profit anymore and an ever-declining amount of people are writing those scripts. If you have ever felt some sort of attachment or passion towards goofy, maybe a little nonsensical comedy, I urge you to chase that path! We need to bring ‘em back. If I ever stumble across riches (national treasure style) I officially declare that I will produce your movie. “People just don't understand what is involved in this. This is an art-form!”