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Trouble relaxing? You're not alone.

Heather Rafanello, MSW, LCSW @GrowingMindsetTherapy 


Stillness is really challenging for a lot of people. There are a lot of factors that make being still a challenge, including ADHD, anxiety, hustle culture, social media, and so much more.

 

If you’re reading this article, there's a chance that something is going on in your life that lead you to do a Google search, or something urged you to reach out for help. Let me say, for that I'm proud of you. Awareness is the first step! You're not alone, I recently shared an experience on Instagram about my buzzing anxiety. I've learned to appreciate aspects of my anxiety, as I can channel it into productivity. The same aspects that I've learned to appreciate though also inhibit my ability to relax, or just slow down enough to enjoy time with friends, and family. If you find yourself filling your days with errands, plans, tasks, etc. I urge you to read on.


Society, specifically "hustle culture" tell us that our worth comes from our success, or achievements, or accomplishments. While I'm here for being productive, and accomplishing things, we are so much more than just that. In order to maintain this level of achievement, it's critical that we slow down, and recharge. Just like a cell phone battery, the more we're 'powered on' and moving, the more frequently we'll need to plug back in and charge up. This doesn't have to be taking a nap, sitting on the beach, or doing nothing, in fact, for many that stillness feels impossible.


Be realistic with your expectations. If your brain moves so quickly that it feels like it hits race car speeds, then it might not be realistic to expect yourself to be totally still. Instead, what’s important is for you to work on frequently pumping the breaks, not slam on them. 


As a mental health therapist, I preach consistency. My recommendation is to try to slow down more often, on a consistent basis for example, take your lunch break without staring at a screen. Instead of doom scrolling before bed, pick up a book. Consistently making small shifts like these can change your overall direction in big ways. 


Focus on setting yourself up to succeed. Instead of setting a goal to go for a walk X days a week, or read X amount of books, try to set an intention. “I want to focus on being more present during time with my loved ones.” “I will practice slowing down during my work day.” “I plan to incorporate more stillness in my morning routine.” The difference here is small, but allows you to set yourself up to succeed. Goals are great, but we are often too rigid or too specific. The goal here (no pun intended) is to just get more intentional or purposeful with your behavior. 


Here are some tips for how to relax if your anxious, or deeply indoctrinated into hustle culture: 

As therapists, we are trained to meet our clients “where they’re at” and it’s important for you to do the same. Be gentle with yourself. That race car doesn't instantly go from 0-100 mph. Slowing down takes time, think of this is a practice. Although I don’t preach perfection, the age old saying goes “practice makes perfect.” What I'll say is practice makes progress, so keep practicing + keep growing. 


DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to treat, or diagnose and medical conditions, nor is it a replacement for mental health or medical treatment. If you or someone you know is in need of clinical support, our team is able to provide therapy services to those in NJ and FL. Contact us to learn more. If you or someone you know is in need of immediate support please contact emergency services. U.S. Mental health crisis line: dial 988 ; medical emergency dial 911

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