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Tips for Navigating Thanksgiving with an Eating Disorder

Heather Rafanello, MSW, LCSW @GrowingMindsetTherapy

“I can’t believe we ate that much food”

“I’m going to have to hit the gym extra hard tomorrow”

“That’s all that you’re going to eat?”

“I need to unbutton my pants I’ve eaten so much!”

While these statements might be made with playful intention, they can be extremely triggering for many struggling with eating disorders such as bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and anorexia nervosa. They’re even harmful to those who might not meet the criteria for an eating disorder, but still struggle with disordered eating, and falling into the trap of diet culture. The Thanksgiving holiday, for many, centers around food, food talk, and brings to light many disordered eating behaviors and habits.

As eating disorder specialists, our team works to remind our clients that Thanksgiving should be about much more than food. This is a time to surround ourselves with loved ones, practice gratitude, and to celebrate the holiday season. 

We invite our clients in recovery to reframe Thanksgiving as a day where they can pay attention to their growth, create space for practicing recovery strategies, and even educate their loved ones of the impact of diet culture. 

While this article is not intended to replace mental health treatment, or treat/diagnose medical conditions, we are here to share some helpful strategies for maintaining recovery from an eating disorder. 

Here are some tips for navigating Thanksgiving with an Eating Disorder

1. Plan, Plan, Plan: This means many things. For one, if you’ve recently transitioned out of a higher level of care treatment center for an eating disorder, or are working with a dietician, make an appointment to create a Thanksgiving meal plan ahead of time so that you can get answers to all of your questions, and feel a little bit more prepared. In addition to a meal plan, we also recommend creating a plan with your support system, and therapist with ways that you can navigate the day (see tip 3 for more). Thanksgiving day can be full of merky conversations surrounding food, that often happen throughout the entirety of day. Understand your boundaries, and make a plan to communicate them. Last but not least, you may even consider making an escape plan, if you need to remove yourself. 

2. Prepare your coping skills toolkit: You can likely predict that this day will be a little (or a lot) more stressful than usual. Go back to basics here and practice your coping skills. We encourage our clients to make a note in their phone, or keep a list in their wallet of their favorite coping strategies. These can be breathing exercises, grounding techniques, body scans, guided imagery, and much much more. 

3. Surround yourself with supportive people: Start by acknowledging all the strength and courage that it takes to be on this healing journey. It’s totally okay to have big feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and more, heading into the day. We work with our clients to identify a support system in advance. Our recommendation: quality over quantity. Sometimes we have people who love us so much, but they might not be able to show up and support us in the ways that we need it. Pre-identify your best support person(s) and talk to them in advance about what you’ll need. Create a code word; have them on stand by; encourage them to check in on you (if that will be helpful). You are the expert on yourself, so spend some time reflecting on your needs and then communicate them with your support team. 

4. Remember that all foods fit: We’re stepping out of our mental health lane here and into the Dietician’s world. While as therapists, we’re not trained in the science of nutrition, we do know that your eating disorder has a tendency to lie to you when it tells you that some foods are ‘bad.’ Through our work collaborating with some incredible dieticians, we’ve learned that through intuitive eating, all foods fit, and all foods are good foods (unless you have an allergy, or medical condition of course). We have a list of incredible registered dieticians who specialize in treating eating disorders, so contact us for some more information!

5. Zoom Out: Our founder, Heather Rafanello, can often be found teaching this tool to her clients. What she means by this is: We often get sucked into the nitty gritty details of a situation. We can become so emotionally activated that we don’t realize how ‘in the weeds’ we are. When we ‘zoom out’ we are grounding ourselves in the bigger picture, remembering that there’s more than just what we’re focused on. Zooming out in this instance might be reminding yourself that this is just a few hours, 1 day in a 365 day year; or working to remember the spirit of Thanksgiving goes far beyond the food on our plates. This allows us to broaden our perspective and feel less overwhelmed by the emotions swirling around at any given moment.

Eating disorders are complex mental health disorders that make eating and being around food distressing. Holidays are often celebrated through sharing meals together, and Thanksgiving is no different. Healing is hard, and always worth it. Keep growing!

DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to treat, or diagnose and medical conditions, nor is it a replacement for mental health or medical treatment. If you or someone you know is in need of clinical support, our team is able to provide therapy services to those in NJ and FL. Contact us to learn more. If you or someone you know is in need of immediate support please contact emergency services. U.S. Mental health crisis line: dial 988 ; medical emergency dial 911