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Lucky Girl Syndrome - What is it? and Does it really work?

Heather Rafanello, MSW, LCSW

@GrowingMindsetTherapy 

What is Lucky Girl Syndrome?

Last year, social media platforms (specifically Tiktok) were flooded with videos of women sharing just how lucky they were, and how everything seems to just go their way. This trend bubbled back up to the surface again earlier this year, seemingly trending around the start of the new year. 

What is the Lucky Girl Syndrome? We’re glad you asked. The concept behind the Lucky Girl Syndrome is that if you repeatedly speak into existence how lucky you are, then you will eventually become lucky, or manifest this fortune. Now, there are some psychological theories that affirm this trend. 

• Self-fulfilling prophecy: this means that what we think, we become - therefore if we continue to focus on our luckiness, then we will rewire our brain to pay attention to and notice these lucky moments more and more. 

• Confirmation bias: this is quite literally a bias that we formulate that confirms our beliefs - it’s our tendency to perceive a situation as evidence for our thoughts and feelings.

• Toxic Positivity: the belief that no matter what, we should keep a positive attitude, or outlook.

Other theories at play when it comes to the Lucky Girl Syndrome are

• The Law of Resonance: energy projected will harmonize and attract energies of a similar frequency, so basically the frequency of your thoughts and feelings will attract similar things in the outside world. 

• The Law of Attraction: positive thoughts bring positive results, while negative thoughts attract negative results. 

Why does all of this matter? 

“The mind is everything, what you think you become.” -Buddha

As mental health professionals, we are constantly working to support our clients in navigating life’s uncertainties. There’a common therapy-ism in our world, “Neurons that fire together wire together.” What this essentially means is that our brains have a sort-of algorithm system - they continue to feed us what they’re used to thinking. When our brain thinks a thought, we either buy into it and continue to feed into it, or we reject it. If we buy into it, that starts to wire these thoughts together, forming a neural pathway for our brain to continue to follow. This is a double edged sword, because if we have a tendency to ruminate on negative thoughts, our brain wires that way; however as therapists we help our clients to recognize these patterns and instead create new, more neutral (or positive) thoughts. 

4 Steps to Become A Lucky Girl

Ready to become a lucky girl yourself? 

1. Tune into your thoughts, the things that your mind things - notice them 

2. REMEMBER - you are not your thoughts, work to seperate your thoughts from your awareness/consciousness

3.  Recognize if these thoughts are helpful or hurtful - do they serve you well?

4. If they are helpful, keep thinking them! - If they are not helpful, change them!

We've taken a quite complex process and simplified it to the best of our ability. We do hope that you know that changing your mindset, while on paper is simple, takes consistent time and effort. We recognize that this process can be challenging, and in no way do these 'simple' steps represent the effort, courage, and heart that it takes to make true change

Affirmations for Becoming a Lucky Girl

These are some sample affirmations, but please use them as templates to modify, or create your own version that works best for you.

• Good things do happen to me.

• I am deserving of good things.

• Things do go my way.

• God/The Universe is looking out for me. 

• I am capable of changing my mindset. 

• The mind is everything, what I think, I become. 

• My mindset shapes my world, and I can shape my mindset.

Is there a downside? In our opinion, lucky girl syndrome can be considered to dance the line of toxic positivity, while also ignoring privilege, inequality, and systemic biases. We preach emotional tolerance, emotional regulation, and feeling your feelings. Emotions are a natural part of our human experience, and ignoring negative emotions can bring about challenges. Taking too much of a positive mindset can neglect our human experiences, emotions, and invalidate the challenges that we go through. 

There are clearly many people who think that the lucky girl syndrome is working for them, and we encourage you to try out aspects of it too. However, as with anything we do, we preach balance - everything in moderation. Practice manifesting luck, be intentional about creating positive thoughts, and if less than positive emotions arise, feel them too - because after all, we’re human.

DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to treat, or diagnose and medical conditions, nor is it a replacement for mental health or medical treatment. If you or someone you know is in need of clinical support, our team is able to provide therapy services to those in NJ and FL. Contact us to learn more. If you or someone you know is in need of immediate support please contact emergency services. U.S. Mental health crisis line: dial 988 ; medical emergency dial 911