Blogs
September 28 is National Good Neighbor Day:
Here are 11 Lessons from Mr. Rogers
Heather Rafanello, MSW, LCSW @GrowingMindsetTherapy
Fred Rogers, more commonly known as Mr. Rogers from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, transformed the ways that we think about the inner lives of young children. Mr. Rogers not only created Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, but he composed the songs for the show, and imagined the 14 puppet characters into existence. He was also an author, producer, and minister before his passing in 2003.
In recognition of National Good Neighbor Day, which takes place on September 28, we’re sharing some lessons learned from the original good neighbor himself, Mr. Rogers.
“You are special and so is everyone else in this world.”
Not only did Mr. Rogers teach this seemingly obvious lesson, but he also made a point to demonstrate it in his show. During the series, there was a time when Black people weren’t permitted to swim in the same pool as White people, so Mr. Rogers invited Officer Clemmons, a frequent character in the show portrayed by African-American actor Francois Scarborough Clemmons, to sit and cool his feet with Mr. Rogers in a kiddie pool during an episode.
"Often, problems are knots with many strands, and looking at those strands can make a problem seem different."
Mr. Rogers created segments of his show to specifically highlight and address conflict. He used his puppets to demonstrate how to come from a place of peaceful concern, and compassionate worry. He encouraged his audience to consider that two opposing sides of an argument can peacefully explore a situation to create a solution.
"When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary."
Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood taught us that all of our feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, are real and valid. The series tackled serious topics, including death and divorce, in relatable and heartfelt ways to encourage more conversations about feelings. Mr. Rogers opened the door for children to be able to hear and even have their own challenging conversations.
"Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person."
Mr. Rogers understood the importance of building people up, and creating a sense of confidence in the world. So much so, that he couldn’t understand the point of simply critiquing someone’s weaknesses. He truly believed in the importance of curiosity, learning, and truly seeing the goodness in one another.
"I'm proud of you for the times you came in second, or third, or fourth."
One of Mr. Rogers greatest lessons to viewers was that no one is perfect. He often talked about expecting to make mistakes, and accepting ourselves and others when we have. Expecting to make mistakes and embracing our imperfections is a simple way for us to practice acceptance and non-judgment. Acceptance allows us to be more open to the mistakes that are made, and learn the lessons that they are here to teach.
“There is only one person in the whole world like you, and people can like you just because you’re you.”
Mr. Rogers ended each show by reminding his audience “I like you just as you are.” It was important to him to send this message to children who might feel different to their peers, or insignificant in the eyes of some adults. He sought to instill confidence in young children by helping them to love themselves and others.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
While it’s true that there are always scary things happening, and the world is an uncertain place, Mr. Rogers knew it is also true that there are always helpers. We can ground ourselves in the truth that we too can not only look for the helpers, but we can be the helpers.
"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has or ever will have something inside that is unique to all time.”
Mr. Rogers cared deeply about making heartfelt attempts to understand a different opinion before responding to it. He believed that making an effort to learn about someone else’s feelings helps that person react with a sense of understanding and peace.
“Did you know when you wonder, you’re learning.”
Making an effort to understand someone is important. We can always practice wonder and curiosity. Understanding doesn’t have to mean that we agree with someone’s opinion, nor does it mean giving up on your own values. We can disagree, while still demonstrating understanding and respect for a different belief.
"We speak with more than our mouths. We listen with more than our ears."
This is similar to lesson 10, described previously. More than simply hearing another person, Mr. Rogers taught the power of paying attention to another person and listening with your eyes, heart, and soul.
"Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors."
Mr. Rogers made an intentional effort to frequently thank his audience, and further encouraged his audiences to take a full minute to think about someone in their lives who helped them. This short moment in our day can be the catalyst to rewiring our brain to focus more on gratitude, and positive moments. Perhaps you already treat people with kindness, but can you take it a step further and truly express your appreciation or gratitude? This can foster deeper connections, but help both you and the receiver feel more depth and joy.
Mr. Rogers taught many lessons over the years, and his legacy continues to live on through The Fred Rogers Company, and Fred Rogers Productions. Learn more at https://www.misterrogers.org/about-fred-rogers/
DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to treat, or diagnose and medical conditions, nor is it a replacement for mental health or medical treatment. If you or someone you know is in need of clinical support, our team is able to provide therapy services to those in NJ and FL. Contact us to learn more. If you or someone you know is in need of immediate support please contact emergency services. U.S. Mental health crisis line: dial 988 ; medical emergency dial 911
Sources: