EMDR: The Therapy That Literally Taps Into Your Feelings (And Maybe Your Nervous System, Too)

So, What Exactly Is EMDR?

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: EMDR is not some mystical, crystal-waving, “the universe will heal you” type of thing. It’s not magic. It’s not witchcraft. It’s actually a form of therapy that uses bilateral stimulation (that’s a fancy term for “alternating left-right tapping or sounds”) to help you process memories, reduce emotional distress, and rewire your brain so you don’t have to live your life in a constant state of “Why do I feel like I’m about to spiral at any given moment?”

Basically, EMDR is like sending your trauma to therapy and then smacking it around with some gentle brainwave wizardry until it’s not as scary. And you thought your childhood teddy bear was the only thing that could give you comfort. Pfft. This therapy's got your back.

The Science-y Stuff (But Like, We’ll Make It Fun)

Here’s the part where I pretend to be a scientist and explain why EMDR works. Ready?

Your brain processes traumatic memories in a way that’s…well, not super great. Imagine if you were trying to watch your favorite show, but your TV kept buffering every few seconds. That’s kind of what happens when trauma gets stuck in your brain. EMDR works by stimulating both sides of your brain (via eye movements, sounds, or tapping) in a process called bilateral stimulation. This helps the brain “reprocess” those memories and emotions, allowing them to become less distressing over time.

In other words: it’s like hitting "refresh" on your brain’s trauma folder so you don’t keep getting stuck on the same bad episode of your past. Honestly, I should’ve just led with “brain refresh,” but hey, where’s the fun in that?

How Does EMDR Actually Work?

Okay, now we get to the cool part. The process is actually simpler than you might think—and yet, it’s also deeply weird in the way only therapy can be.

1. Pick a Memory – The therapist will ask you to think about a specific traumatic memory or upsetting event (no, not the time you spilled your latte in front of your crush; we’re talking about the stuff that makes you want to curl up into a ball of existential dread).

2. Identify the Feeling – Once you've picked your memory, you’re going to identify the feeling that comes with it. (This might require you to actually admit that you’re upset. Fun, right?)

3. Follow the Therapist’s Fingers (Or Whatever Is Moving) – Here's where it gets really fun: the therapist will ask you to follow their fingers, or listen to alternating sounds, or feel little taps (on your hands, feet, or even your knees). It’s like a weird game of "Where’s Waldo?" but you’re trying to find your emotions instead of a striped-shirt guy. And no, you don’t need to do the Macarena to get it to work.

4. Process the Memory – As you follow the movements, your brain starts to… do its thing. It’s like putting your trauma through a washing machine of feelings. By the end of the session, your brain may have reprocessed the memory, which means it’s less likely to make you want to sob uncontrollably at a commercial for peanut butter.

5. Check-In and Re-evaluate – If you’re lucky (or unlucky, depending on your perspective), your brain might throw up some new emotions or memories during the session. Your therapist will help you process those, too, so you don’t walk out of there thinking, “Wait, what just happened?!”

Is It Like Hypnosis? (Spoiler: No)

I know what you’re thinking: "So, I just stare at a shiny object and then poof—I’m healed, right?" Nope. It’s not hypnosis. You’re fully conscious and aware of everything that’s going on. No one’s going to make you bark like a dog or reveal any deep, dark secrets you’ve been keeping. (Though, if you have some secret talent like, say, being able to do the moonwalk while reciting Shakespeare, I wouldn’t judge.) You stay alert, but your brain just starts working in ways that help you process trauma more efficiently.

No weird trance-like states here, sorry to disappoint.

Will EMDR Really Help?

Will it solve all your problems? No. But does it help a lot of people? Oh, heck yes. Studies show that EMDR can be effective for treating PTSD, anxiety, depression, and all the other things you might be dealing with because, well, life is hard sometimes.

Just like any therapy, though, it’s not a one-and-done situation. It takes time, commitment, and a willingness to sit with some uncomfortable stuff. If you think EMDR is going to magically make all your issues disappear after one session, well, you might be in for a rude awakening. Spoiler alert: Therapy doesn’t come with a magic wand (unless you’re seeing a therapist who moonlights as a wizard).

But Seriously, Does It Work?

Yes, yes, and yes. But here's the kicker: it’s not going to be a smooth ride. You might have to dig into some messy memories. You might feel a little weird after your sessions, like your brain just ran a marathon without telling you. But in the long run, EMDR can help you rewire those stuck feelings and allow you to experience life without every little thing triggering an emotional meltdown.

And at the very least, you’ll probably walk out of a session feeling like you’ve just done a workout for your emotional muscles. (Which, let’s be real, is probably more productive than scrolling through your ex’s Twitter feed for two hours.)

Final Thoughts: Is EMDR Worth Trying?

Look, I’m not going to lie to you: EMDR can feel a little strange at first. But life is weird, and honestly, if you’re dealing with trauma, weirdness might be an improvement. So, if you’ve tried traditional therapy or just can’t seem to get past that one event that’s been holding you back, give EMDR a shot. It might just be the brain hack you need to get through life without feeling like you're constantly walking around in a cloud of emotional goo.

And hey, if nothing else, you get to leave your session feeling like a highly-trained Jedi, able to process your trauma with the power of your mind (and some gentle tapping).

May the EMDR force be with you. Or whatever.

For more information on EMDR we have trained therapists at our office, including myself (as well as Deanna, Kristen, and Candace)